Exhausted by Holiness, or, Why Can't I Do Enough

Actual footage of me trying to save myself

Have you ever felt your value is measured in what you do, or, what you can produce?  That every relationship you have is in some way transactional?  If you do "this", then you will be valued, if you can behave just a little bit better than you will receive the love/care/respect/etc that you desperately are desiring?  

To add to that, there is also the powerful sense that we are in a "what have you done for me lately" world.  Maybe I was valued yesterday because I did great that day, but today, I didn't do so hot, so I am no longer someone worthy.  

Exhausting.

Human history is shaped by this constant grasping after feeling "ok" knowing that at any moment we will still mess up, fall short, and be cast out.  Even when you observe religion you see a list of tasks that must be perfectly completed or you will be out! 

And this religious impulse through history is even put into practice in all our new modes of "religion" today.  Think about all the social movements that exist.  Whether BLM, Me Too, Political parties, Eco Justice, etc.  It doesn't take long for the group that you desperately tried to be accepted by to turn on you because all your previous good work is cast aside when you mess up on one area.  

Your best is never going to be good enough.  

Our spiritual struggle is the deeply internal acknowledgement that something is wrong.  Wrong with the world around us, wrong in our relationships, wrong in ourselves.  Even at our best, there are the hidden parts of ourselves(and sometimes not so hidden) that shout out, "This is not ok, this is not right, there is something wrong".  

Most of the time we are quite capable of stringing together enough obvious "good" in our lives that we can hold at bay the thoughts of inadequacy.  In the West, we are almost experts at this.  We can fill our lives with so much entertainment and comfort that we can stave off these feelings almost indefinitely.  But it always comes due at some point.  

It shouldn't come as a surprise that in an era of the greatest prosperity and material comfort and "ethical" living we have an ever increasing, at record levels, mental health issues of depression, anxiety and hopelessness.  

How is this possible?  The external world is improving, yet our internal lives are falling apart.  

It IS possible because we are a people desperate for absolution.  And all our comforts and self-pleasing behaviors offer no such thing as forgiveness and absolution. We intrinsically see that our internal and external realities are at war with the state and condition with reality.  The Apostle Paul points out in Romans chapter 2 that even those who claim there is not God, fall short of their own standards.  Entertainment and distraction just shoves the problems down deeper where they fester and rot. 

And when we fall short of what we hope for and there is no hope for absolution, we are left anxious and depressed.  

We pursue an exhausting form of "holiness".  The rules are constantly changing, the judges are arbitrary and often capricious in their verdicts. 

But why is this so?  

In God's Word we see where it started, but are also pointed to where it is going.

Genesis lays out our ultimate issue that started in the garden.  Adam and Eve did not just want to disobey God, they wanted to be the ones calling the shots.(to be God ourselves free of consequence-Gen 3:4-5).  At that moment in history the heart of all of our issues that we struggle with today are painted in stark fashion.

We are made for God.

We are made with a purpose.

We rebel and break the vertical relationship with our creator and it ricochets to destroy our horizontal relationships with each other and the rest of creation.(Genesis 3:12-19)

And we are incapable of truly fixing it all.  

So we get on the hamster wheel and think if we can just run a bit farther, a bit faster, a bit more passionately, then, then we can see and feel our desperately desired absolution.  And we are tired as we see as much as we have worked, we are still in the same spot.

But God.

But God, loves us.  He created us for Himself, with a purpose, to have a relationship with Him. 

When Jesus, God the Son, saw His people tired, beat up, worn down, he looked at them with compassion.(Matthew 9:36)

When Jesus went to the Cross his compassion was an active work of healing and restoring as he declared "It is Finished"(John 19:30)

Not, lets get started, here is all the work to do.  It. Is. Finished.  

But Adam(this is you talking here)..But Adam, if it is finished, what are we supposed to be doing to make sure we are loved by God???  Are you saying we can do whatever we want??????

So let me double down with what Paul says in Galatians 3

You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. 2 I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard? 3 Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh? 4 Have you experienced so much in vain—if it really was in vain? 5 So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard? 6 So also Abraham “believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”

What Paul is dealing with is that after starting off their relationship with God based on the love of Christ and His finished work, they are now trying to reverse engineer their salvation and absolution of sins through all the works they can do to look good enough.

Stop it.

Jesus said IT IS FINISHED.  He meant it.

So what DO we do about sins in our lives and in the lives of the people we love.

This is how John puts it in 1 John 3

2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3 All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.

What makes us like Christ according to John?  What purifies us?  

John doesn't say, "you will be like Christ and purified when you start doing the right stuff".  He says when you place your hope in Christ and look upon Him and truly see and know him THAT will be what changes us.

So here is the false bill of goods we are often sold that is directly contrasted from what God's Word actually says.

FALSE NARRATIVE:

1- There is a problem in you and the world

2- You better do do do do to fix it or carry around guilt

3-  If you do enough good stuff you MIGHT be ok, hopefully

4- And if you want to be right with God in all of this don't forget all of those rules too

GOD'S TRUTH

1- There is a problem in you and the world

2- You can't do better by doing more, God will take away your guilt and shame

3- When you experience that and look to Him in hope you WILL be ok

4- Because you are right with God already, your natural behavior changes because of God in you as your place your hope in Him as you look upon Him in truth

Stop trying to make yourself ok.  Lay down your burdens and look on a savior who perfectly did for you what you could never truly accomplish.  Give up the exhausting lie that you can absolve yourself and achieve holiness.  You will never be holy.  But Christ is.  And he calls you to enjoy Him forever.  

One Factory Still Hard at Work: The Idol Factory

One good thing about the global pandemic is that we are forced to face the reality of what we count on for our sense of well-being.  And it has revealed how fickle all these things that we have counted on truly are. 

Here is what I mean. 

Take a hard working husband/father who deals with a lot of stress with their job.  Bosses, deadlines, obnoxious co-workers.  And then he gets home and there are needs he feels pressure to provide for, emotionally, financially, relationally, etc. 

Under normal circumstances he is pretty frazzled and just a few small pushes away from snapping at those around him.  One bad external event from entering a spiral of depression and anxiety. 

Until recently he counted on his weekly basketball games at the Y and an evening at the bar with his friends to open up the pressure valve a bit and decompress the building up stress.  They were so important to him, that any disruption of that pattern would always be directly tied to problems at home and work.  They were what he was counting on for balance and peace. 

But these were all just "things" without any real permanence.  Circumstances could always temporarily eliminate them from his calendar, and now they were completely taken away.  Look at your local police docket.  You shouldn't be surprised to see the growth of reported domestic violence over the last few months. 

Playing basketball at the Y, going out with friends, whatever it is you do to blow off steam, are not inherrently bad things.  But this pandemic does pull back the curtain and reveal our heart.  If something is "taken" from you and it causes your to become angry, bitter, engative, to have your personality deeply impacted, it reveals that you were not internally healthy or whole, but had become reliant on a crutch that had become your source of well-being and hope.

To put it more Biblically, what we are talking about is idolatry. 

They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.- Romans 1:25

Everything in this world, even good things, like, family, friends, food, etc, are finite and imperfect.  When they become the essence of what keeps us content and at peace, they are an idol.  And idol that will only take from you and never give back the hope and peace you are truly in need of. 

John Calvin said this about our condition, "the human heart is a perpetual idol factory"  And I once heard that expanded to the concept by saying, "The human heart is a perpetual idol factory AND IT NEVER IDLES IN CREATING IDOLS"

Why are we perpetually making idols for ourselves.  Because we are desperate for hope.  And time after time we place our hope in things that can never truly satisfy.  But instead of saying, maybe I need to dig deeper, we just throw away with contempt that which we had hoped in and try to fill that void with a new fancy thing that surely won't let us down in the same way.

We throw away relationships, jobs, friendships, homes, gifts, etc in a constant turnover in a desperate attempt to finally find the thing that sticks.  And sometimes we do find something that lasts for a long time.  But we can never forget that in a moment, it is something that can be taken.  Even if we think we finally have found that "thing" that will make us feel peace and contentment, a snap of a finger it can be ripped from us. 

Paul points out to us in Romans the simple truth of our condition.  There is one thing that is eternal, perfect, complete and a source of lasting hope and peace.  God, the creator of the good things that bless us.  But we too often celebrate the gift and not the maker and giver of the gift.

If your child makes you a handmade card for mothers day this coming weekend.  Which do you prefer, the card, or your child?

Of course you prefer your child!

But everyday we say God my happiness is not in you, but only in this object, this person, this thing.  And if I don't have it, I will throw a fit.  Because it is the only thing holding it all together for me.

Until we can say like the author of Lamentations,

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."- Lamentations 3:24

Then we will never find perfect peace.  As long as we say God, I will be happy as long as you protect this, give me that, change these circumstances....as long as there is anything we count on to do for us what God made us to only perfectly experience through Him, then we have set ourselves up for pain and heartache.

And if we go to our graves with our hope in anything else, the idol you have put your hopes in will not save you.  It is a thing, it is not God. 

Only God saves, gives hope, grants peace, shows purpose.  And this He does for eternity. 

Are We There Yet? Or, the Pain of Waiting on God

Moses probably had it pretty rough

Do you know why dad's get mad driving their family to vacation?  Because hearing, "Are We there yet??" every 2 1/2  miles is enough to break the most hardened Navy Seal.  If you ever wanted to interrogate a terrorist to find where the dirty bomb was placed, don't waterboard, just have them drive my kids somewhere more than an hour away.  I give them 30 minutes before they help us permanently shut down ISIS. 

It is a part of our fallen nature that we struggle with the patience that a journey requires of us.  A significant part of that struggle is that;

1- We are so excited we want it RIGHT NOW, and, sometimes,

2- We are afraid that we will never get there to experience what we are hoping for. 

My kids sometimes are worried that if it takes too long the resort will be closed, the beach will be shut down, the vacation home will be unavailable. 

These two emotions, impatience and anxiety, are at war within us even as we try to joyfully anticipate where the journey is taking us.  And here is where it gets dicy for us.  Sometimes we can become so impatient and anxious in our behavior that we rob all joy from the journey and make arriving at our destination a less than joyful moment. 

Have you ever been so exhausted of your trip, and the constant heckling of some backseat drivers, that you feel you are going to need a few days to just recover from the journey before you can even enjoy where you have arrived??

This is an ongoing battle within our own hearts as we "try" to wait on God.  We can grasp the concept that there is a reason for the wait.  But we become frustrated and even fearful that what we are waiting for will never materialize.  We cry out, "But why not yet God??!!?"  And every time we give into that emotion and let it dominate us we are creating the environment that, instead of giving us peace and joy, gives us increasing anxiety and unhappiness. 

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.- 2 Peter 3:9

Why is God seemingly slow to fulfill those hopes, dreams and promises in our lives? 

Because he is PATIENT WITH YOU!!

There is something that YOU NEED.  That cannot be appropriately accomplished by rushing to the end of the journey.  God isn't asking you to please be patient with His apparent slowness.  He is gracefully extending the journey to give you what you need the most. 

What is actually at the heart of all your pleas and felt needs is this:  To be saved and to know God as Father, Savior and King.  And when that primary goal has been accomplished then He keeps the journey going so that you dive deeper and deeper into what it means to know and be known by the God who made you and bought you with the blood of His own Son.

The waiting can be painful, but God has never failed us yet. 

God is ever true to His promises- I Corinthians 1:9

If the journey from Ohio to the beach was only 30 minutes what would we find.  No sunshine and no beach.  To have that warm beach vacation in deep and dark February requires many long(and painful sometimes) hours.  But it is worth it.

As we wait on God, instead of asking are we there yet, be grateful that God loves you enough to keep your journey going for your own sake.  Because His destination is the only destination that is worth our patience. 

Do You Listen or Talk

There are two things about me that are very important to understand;  1-  I like to talk  2-  I like to be right.  This obviously can be the source of much difficulty.  If I was a talk radio host it would be the perfect combination of never pausing and never thinking to be a wild success......

But as a husband and someone who works vocationally in ministry this can be a terribly challenging problem.  And I think this is probably a problem with everyone, regardless of relationship status or vocational calling.

We are people who love to hear our own great thoughts and brilliant ponderings.  Disagreements are not to be understood, but to be defeated.  Have you ever felt like the point of a conversation is to win the conversation??

Let me be clear, there are RIGHT answers.  People CAN be wrong.  And where wrongness can lead to destructiveness, we SHOULD speak plainly and clearly.

But the problem is we are so interested in scoring a point, whether with a spouse or a friend, that we don't take the time to listen long enough to even know what the problem could even be.  We bring a loaded shotgun of presuppositions ready to pepper spray the conversation with silver pellet bullets.

To put some meat on the bones of that thought....your spouse calls and asks what time you are getting home.  You get defensive...don't they know how busy you are, give it a rest already....So you snap that you will be home when you get home.  Little did you know that they were planning a surprise dinner for you, they weren't lecturing you on being late.  But you never stopped to listen.

And your surpise dinner suprisingly falls into the disposal......

James 1:19-21 tells us;

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Are you quick to listen?  Slow to speak?  Slow to anger??  How does this all interact in one coherent thought?

When we don't listen we create tension and contention between us and others, and because this tension is an outflow of our unwillingness to listen(selfishness....aka,..sin) an expected outcome is anger.  So what are we encouraged to get rid of?   All MORAL FILTH.

Do you catch that?

Being someone who is slow to listen, quick to talk and quick to be angry is someone who has some moral filth and evil that they need to get rid of.

So what is the word James mentions that we ultimately need to be humbly listening to, the only word that can save us?  The Gospel of Jesus Christ.  The finished work on the Cross by God the Son.  When we don't listen and just talk and talk and talk, we are behaving as someone who is not living in light of the Gospel.

Recently I had a great lunch with a friend who doesn't believe in Christ as the Son of the Living God and is the only hope for all mankind.  There are probably a thousand points of contention we could have.  But he matters as a person who, like me, is made in the image of God, and therefore deserves to be heard and cared for.  He isn't just another person to argue with.

Getting to hear his thoughts, his life story, and how he thinks was great.  There are many things I could happily say, "Right on!"  And plenty of things I could say, "huh?" to.  But how many friends do you have that only want to tell you how stupid it is for you to like "that" sports team?  Probably not many.

He had a lot of great thoughts and if I hadn't listened I would never have known that he has shared his thoughts with others before who barely let him get out a thought before jumping at the chance to argue with every word and phrase he had used.  Who wants that?

Let me abundantly clear.  Christian, you ARE called to proclaim the hope that is in Christ, but you are not called to brow beat people into submission.  You will NEVER argue someone into saving faith.  Only the Holy Spirit can draw us towards the Father through the work of the Son.  Is every convesation you have simply an opportunity to win?  Or, is the point of the conversation to know and care for a person who is in the image of God because they matter?

One final warning/exhortation....Do not take this as a reason to not speak clearly about Christ and the Gospel.  But talking over people isn't the same as the Cross.  If they DO want to talk and ask your questions BE READY.  But let's try listening a bit more folks.

Suffering In UnSilence

There are two extremes when it comes to suffering that seem to be the most commonly observed reactions.  Either someone over dramatizes their "despair" and insists everyone look upon the great injustice that they have been subjected to, or, they stoicly and privately "grin and bear it".  The attention seeker and the hidden pain.

Hurt and pain, in these extremes, exists for personal gratification through attention, or, it is without point and so must be pushed down and hidden because who cares.....

What if neither response is a correct response to the meaning of suffering?

What if suffering is a beautiful purposeful experience that points to a greater hope than even a removal of that suffering??

Colossians 1:24 points suffering in a much different light than we often allow ourselves to believe;

Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church. 

Paul, writing here, does not whine and ask for sympathy, neither does he pretend everything is ok.  Instead he rejoices!  And why does he rejoice?  Because it is in his suffering that he is fulfilling the message of Christ's hope to his readers in brilliant technicolor.  He IS NOT saying that Jesus didn't do enough on the cross, but that in Paul's joyful and hope centered response to suffering he is making tangible what the power of the Gospel is all about.

When suffering is about US, we gravitate to the unhealthy poles of extremism.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ is that ALL suffering belongs to the finished work on the cross.   Earlier in this letter Paul makes it clear that from Eternity past to Eternity future all things are under the Lordship of Christ.  Even our suffering.  Even our pain.  Even our breath.  Even our death.

Starting with this truth, we see that what we are suffering through is not outside of the control of God, as if He has been rendered powerless and incompetent in the face of great tradgedy.  But that instead this, even this, is working towards a great weight of Glory in Eternity.  

The most powerful testimony to the Goodness of God is not that God lets you win the lottery, or your cancer is healed, or that your children come home, but that your heart can sing with a joy that is not defined by the momentary circumstances of our lives.

Paul understands something that I wish I(and others) would embrace more completely more often.  Offering the Cross to the lost, and freedom to the slave, is not an offer to money, health, and material blessing.  Instead, it is an offer to suffer for the sake of a hope that surpasses suffering.  The Colossians were not going to be encouraged in a lasting way by Paul saying, "look, I started following Christ and my pain in my side went away, my shorter leg grew longer and I found money in my couch".  Surely this would be enticing for a while, but when the brokeness of life caught up with them they would see the lie for what it is.  Paul did not offer quick fixes and temporary blessings, he said, "Look at how I suffer, and how even in my suffering I celebrate the goodness of a God who gave up Himself for my sake".

We often "sell" our church, our beliefs, our faith, on the premise of "look how great it is here!!! look how happy we are!!! look how much better off our lives are now that we are "in"!!!"  Instead, we should follow Paul's example.

To weep with each other.

To face difficulties with each other.

To be honests about our failures and imperfections.

And in the midst of it all point to the Cross that stands over it all and calls us to lie down along still waters!  To be joyful that even our very suffering declares the power of the Hope we have in Christ.

Even when it is good, we can be selfishly angry about it....

No Matter Where You Go

My wife called me out the other day.  Yes, she calls me out quite regularly on any number of things because she is good for me like that.  This one really struck me.  She said that she could tell I have not been spiritually focused. 

As usual she was right.

Before baby number three arrived last fall I had found a really great life pattern with our little family of four.  Each day was deliberately managed with clear goals.  Professionally and personally.  I was in complete control of my schedule and was always able to cut out plenty of time for personal devotions. 

As a surprise to no one, a new baby messed up all my well thought out plans.

Then, right after the baby arrived our church made the decision to move towards closing/merging.(which will soon be its own post) Then I started a "new" job in our newly merged with church a few months later with a whole new set of priorities, people and schedules. 

God has been so good throughout it all, and we love where God has led us and our wonderful community at Mt Pleasant church to join with our brothers and sisters at Calvary Evangelical Church.  But in the midst of the whirlwind of all this new stuff I got frazzled and unfocused. 

I have gained 15 pounds(sad face) haven't been committing enough time to just 'being' in God's word and to the chagrin of the 10's of you, haven't been focusing my thoughts in written form on my internationally read blog(big in Asia.....for some reason...).

Sin starts sneakily.  Not that I am currently out trying to score drugs and beating up widows for their social security checks.  If sin was going from being solid to being a criminal overnight we would all recognize it before it got a hold of us and avoid it.  But it doesn't work that way.  Bit by bit, tip toe by tip toe, we sloooooowwwwllly lose focus and wake up one day, weeks/months/years later and wonder, "What just happened???"

When we do wake up and see that things just aren't the way they are supposed to be what do we do? 

Too often you know what we do?  Beat ourselves up about it.  Get down on ourselves.  Perhaps even double down on the previous mistakes, dig in our heels and throw up our hands in defeat.

That's ok.

I mean, not really.  Stop doing that. 

But it is ok because of Jesus.

In Luke 15 Jesus tells three parables.  The lost sheep, the lost coin, and, the prodigal son.  What is the message in each of those.  It doesn't matter how what was lost was "lost" HE wants you back.  He will take off your filthy clothes, carry you on his back, and bring you home.  You belong to Him.  And even if the whole reason you are far from Him right now is your own doing, He is calling you. 

Without condition. 

He doesn't lecture the poor sheep when he finds it.  He doesn't tell the returning son, "told you so".  He says, "Rejoice, celebrate and be glad!  You have returned!"

We enslave ourselves with chains that God has not put upon us.  Someone once said that you can run 1000 miles from God, but when you turn around, He is right there as if you never left.  My wife reminded me that I was distracted.  So I turned back around.  Don't be a slave to the last mistake you made, it is not how God sees you.  Don't see yourself that way.  

Apparently it was a maze keeping him away the whole time.....

Parenting and the Cross

Being a parent forces you to focus on priorities.   Every moment of every day is limited.  And this is especially true when your kids are still quite little.  You blink and another year has passed.  Just the other day, my wife and I had lost track of the time and realized that we were about an hour behind on starting the bedtime routine.  Clearly this made for a relaxed evening of well-behaved children……

Success means knowing what is and isn’t important and not compromising on getting those most important priorities accomplished.  It is easy to get distracted by the non-essentials and miss out on key moments.  A five year old needs to learn to pick up their own room, but it is more important that they know they are loved than they have a clean room.  And it is vital that they don’t confuse being loved with a result of the cleanliness of their room!

Well-meaning parents will sadly sometimes miss the most important priority in what it means to be parent; Love.  Nothing else matters if your parenting isn’t driven by love.  A child who doesn’t feel like their parents instructions are coming from a place of love is a person who will grow up to be resentful of the behaviors and habits they were unfairly “forced” to have.

“If Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is useless, and so is your faith” -1 Corinthians 15:14

Being a follower of Christ I have one priority.  Christ crucified and Christ risen.  As the Apostle Paul points out in 1 Corinthians, our faith begin and ends with the message of the Cross.  Everything else hinges on that.  It is easy to focus on the peripherals first.  What I like to call the behavior modification aspects.  But Christ didn’t come to help us behave better, but to die for our sins, defeat sin and death, and offer, through HIS finished work, hope for eternity. 

The power of whatever I do as a preacher is sourced from one place.  The unconditional love offered at the Cross.  The people in our lives don’t need a better approach to achieving some sort of “better life” goals.  They need to hear the Gospel of the Cross. 

My kids need to know that they are loved deeply before what I teach them, hold them accountable to, and expect from them, makes sense.  And they need to know that their success and/or failure at achieving these standards is not the basis of whether their daddy loves them.  The love is unconditional, which gives them the freedom and hope to get back up when they fall. 

We need to know that we are deeply loved BEFORE we are equipped to pursue the Holiness that Christ calls us to.  And the Cross tells us that this love is not dependent upon how well we are currently doing at running hard after Christ.  People change because they are loved.  They can’t change so that they can get loved.

Some of us need more help as parents than others.....

New Years Resolutions are so 2014, or, why you fail at improving yourself

We love to make new commitments to some sort of new "us-es" every year about this time.  Standing of the precipice of a fresh start there is this compulsion to say, "This year will be different."  Yet, all the studies about these well intentioned resolutions(citation needed) seem to indicate that we pretty much break them all by the time the first week has rolled by. 

Try going to the gym on January 2nd(not the first because the "resolutioners" will be hung over on the 1st) and see how packed it is.  Compare that to the 22nd of January.  You will notice something very interesting.  The gym is very sparsely populated in comparison.  If you are a regular gym goer to-er you hate the first week of a new year because a bunch of knuckleheads will be horning in on your space not knowing how to properly use any of the equipment, nor will they re-rack what they use. 

People quit on their resolutions so easily because; 1) They set unrealistic goals for themselves(never ran since 8th grade gym, this year...MARATHON), 2) It is nice to admit to having a problem that you should fix without actually doing anything(because, hey, knowing is half the battle and just admitting to it makes me a better person....right??) and most importantly, 3) Each time we fail we accept that we are failures and so stop trying lest we get reminded of our failures.

This final one is the most important one to understand.  Our fear of failing, of feeling worthless and unworthy, makes it easier to just quit.  If we quit, we never failed.....or something like that..... How many times have you told yourself, or, heard from others;

I could lose the weight if I tried, but I am fine like this.....

It was a silly idea anyways, I don't have time for that......

I have better things to do.....

At the bottom of each of those statements when it relates to our put aside resolutions is a heart that is desperately worried about being perceived as a failure.  Each time we don't achieve IMMEDIATE success or results we believe that we CAN'T do it.  And in fear of confirming it, we drop it. 

Our broken hearts cry out for affirmation and encouragement.  But the world, and our perception of failures, cause us to shut down. 

Did you know that after each night a fresh morning awaits?  No matter how far you fell yesterday, today is now, and tomorrow is gone.  In Lamentations 3:22-23 we are told, "The Steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are NEW EVERY MORNING"  And in 1 Corinthians 6:11 we are reminded, "And that is what some of you WERE.  But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of Jesus" 

As you face this upcoming year...get ready to fail.  Maybe tonight.  Most likely before the end of the first weekend of January.  But here is the promise.  It doesn't matter.  Your failures, your sins, your mistakes, those were what you WERE.  Each fresh day is a reminder that the faithfulness of the Lord is great, that his mercies are FRESH every morning. 

Don't miss that....FRESH EVERY MORNING.  There is no qualifier attached to that.  It isn't, "Fresh every morning....as long as you did pretty good yesterday."  The hope of the Gospel is that in Christ we are no longer our failures, even the ones that just occurred.  New mercies are here, and new hope has sprung forth. 

So in 2015, don't make a New Years resolution.  Because you will fail.  Make a resolution each moment to keep going even when you fail, because each moment you are standing on the precipice of something wonderful and new. 

Sin, Judgement, Grace

My five year old son loves to play a "game" with his little sister.  He will snottily ask her a question that has an obvious answer that he knows she will get incorrect.  When she inevitably fails the pop quiz he will snap "no, you're wrong!!"  Obviously we are working on correcting it.  But it is an interesting illustration of our human nature....An unhealthy part of our psyche enjoys proving people are wrong and that we are right. 

Very few things feel sweeter than a good old fashioned, "I told you so".  It isn't just enough to be right, we like to bask in the gloriousness of our rightness while rubbing other peoples faces in their wrongness.....Especially when we perceive someone's being wrong as a personal affront of some sort.  You probably don't think of yourself as being a snotty 5 year old tricking his sister, but ask yourself how you feel about people who defend a diametrically opposed political position.  WE LOVE to see them be wrong.  And if we have a good clickbait article to illustrate it we will find some way to slyly post it in the social media world so that they have to see it....

Legalistic morality is the dressed up and articulated version of the "told you so's".  Religious Laws are a tool that are used as hammer to bludgeon those who do not live up to the standards that we appeal to.  While the Law in general serves a helpful purpose in structuring and protecting culture, it does not develop people who live naturally within the framework illustrated by the Law.  It, quite frankly, does not change hearts.

Will my son stop tricking his sister with his questions because he wants to be loving and encourage her to feel good?  Or, does he stop tricking her because he doesn't want to put his nose in the corner anymore?  If the only reason we do what is right is to avoid something that is bad, are we truly doing what is right?

The Law is a trap that is used to produce guilt. 

In the Gospel of John chapter 8 a woman is brought to Jesus

“Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ⁶ They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him."  John 8:4-6

Is a law against adultery a good thing?  Sure.  But do we hear from these Teachers a broken heartedness over the damage of this sin on her family or the family of the person she sinned with?  No.....Do they seem personally broken up about having to confront such a difficult situation?  No....They were just giddy(I say that because of the preceding context that we know these men were previously brainstorming a way to get rid of Jesus) at this golden opportunity to trap Jesus.

The Law was not being used for the woman, it was being used for their selfishness.  It wasn't an opportunity to correct a harmful behavior, but a chance to prove that THEY are the righteous ones. 

Those who are most comfortable with appealing to the rules are often those who do so to assert their specialness because of how they perceive that they themselves measure up in comparison. 

Jesus makes an appeal that cuts to the heart of our "gotcha" attitudes.  

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” -John 8:7

Those who want to harness the hammer of the law need to recognize that it will be equally upon them.  The Law does not give freedom to anyone.  It enslaves everyone.  Jesus is making very clear to us that the their are no degrees of condemnation that the Law brings with it.  

⁹ At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰ Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
¹¹ “No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” - John 8:9-11

The Law exists.  It is true.  But it does not change us.  Grace and love are the tools that change our hearts.  When Jesus came He fulfilled the demands of the Law and offered Grace to all who accept it.  When we don't accept it, we make a claim that we would rather live with the Law.   When someone says that they think they are going to heaven because they are a good person they are appealing to the prison of the Law as their hope.  They are hoping that they can do enough good to avoid punishment.  

The irony is that one of the oft used criticisms of Christianity is that Christian's use the threat of hell to get people to behave.  Yet by divorcing ourselves from the Grace of Christ the only reason we have to behave is to avoid punishment.  Either in this life or the next.  Why should the atheist "act" good?  Because there are "consequences".  Why should the generic spiritual person "act" good?  To avoid consequences.  Only in Christ are we told we can be fully loved even when we break the "Law".  

Let me say here for the record...if anyone tells you that you should be a Christian so you don't go to hell, they are not telling you about Christianity.  They are just telling you the age old performance based story of the Law dressed up with some "Christ-yness".

     

Having the Law doesn't change the Heart

You Don't Really Love People

Are you a kind, loving, friendly and welcoming person?  Who would honestly say "no"?  In general we like to think highly of ourselves.  In all honesty it would be pretty debilitating to walk around thinking poorly of yourself.  It's a natural survival mechanism that we utilize to view ourselves in a mostly positive light. 

Guess what?  You need to stop thinking so positively about yourself. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't mean start beating yourself up about the things you do.  But the reality is we too often refuse to look at ourselves realistically.  And when we refuse to do, we stop growing as a person. 

I knew a guy who thought he was a great writer(he wasn't).  He even wrote a series of books he wanted to get published.  No one would touch him with a ten foot pole.  Did he start taking classes, join peer review groups, start editing and re-working his manuscripts?  Nope.  In his mind they were perfect exactly the way they were.  Everyone else was just an idiot.....

The biggest barrier to being truly loving and caring people is the belief that we already are.  If that's true, why are so many people lonely, sad, hurting and broken? 

People are hurting because we evaluate how loving we are through the lens of the people who are easy for us to love.  Let me say this very clearly, if the only people who think you are friendly and caring are the people you like....well......you aren't that friendly and loving. 

In Matthew chapter 5 Jesus says,

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? ⁴⁸ Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."


Let that sink in......

Who in your life is it not natural and easy to love and treat with kindness?  Who is a challenge to reach out to and invite into your house to share life with? 

Unless you are showing ACTIVE love to them you are just doing that which is easiest for you.  And that isn't love at all.

 

Proof is in the Pudding

CS Lewis wrote that for us to say we love our neighbor, but then to avoid them, is not love at all.  If we are to truly love our neighbor, we are to act in accordance to what love is.  Active, engaged, sacrificial.  He goes on to say that when we begin to discipline ourselves to behaving AS IF we loved them, we will soon discover that we have truly come to love them.

Lip service is what we are most comfortable offering to people.  What we are most comfortable offering to God.  Telling your spouse, "I Love you" is easy.

But the words do not make it true

Affirming with words all the truths of Christianity is easy.

But it doesn't make you a Christian.

There is a funny little truth about the way we are wired.  Actions drive our feelings.  Feelings rarely create consistent action.  When the butterflies of new love wear off, we are left with nothing but the decision to either, by an act of the will, continue to live in love, or, to not. 

When we wait until we "feel" like something to do something, those feelings and those actions become ever more spaced apart.  Consistently applying the will to act in accordance with the behaviors we know to be true and right, develops the feelings and allows them to grow over time.

This does not mean "resigning" oneself to misery and obligation.  A willful act of love is actively aligning your heart with you behavior.  Begrudgingly forcing something grows resentment.  Engaging the whole self towards acts of love changes us from the inside out. 

Christian's are not called to have feelings about God.  But to live in accordance to the truth about God.  Life is messy.  It can be tragic, and broken.  There are times when our pain and frustration will cause us to say, "No more, not today, I can't do it." 

These are the most important times for our internal(and eternal) development.  When the deck is stacked against us, how do we respond? 

"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves such as have a broken spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him from them all."

- Psalm 34:18-19

 

I bet you missed something when you read that. 

 

It doesn't say WHEN deliverance will come.  The act of Christian faith is to not to always have the answers RIGHT NOW, or, to have an easy care-free life, but to be rooted in the hope we have in the promise that is found in the Cross. 

 

And that takes a daily act of the will. 

 

Our hope cannot be based upon some previous feelings of bliss and heart racing palpitations of early love.  Because those things fade.  And if that is all you hoped in, you will be crushed when difficulties arise. Instead, in the person of Christ we have a promise that doesn't erase the struggle today, but points to the hope of every tomorrow.  When we begin to be shaped by this, it changes our behaviors today. 

 

Let me challenge us in two ways....

 

1- Are you waiting to feel good about God before you hope in God?  That will get you no where.  Make a decision to actively seek Him even when it is not easy, and you will find your hope. 

 

2-  This is about us as people living with people as well.  What relationships are you struggling in right now.  Can you begin to stop trying to change how you feel, but change how you act?  Your relationship doesn't need jump started feelings, but a new way of loving.

 

 

Seeming Contradictions and Beautiful Hope- AKA Why I'm Not as Good a Husband as I Wish I Was

I am not a perfect husband.  But I really want to be one.  I make a lot of mistakes.  But I want to fix them. 

Does this sound like you?  And are these statements that relate to much of your life, and not just marriage?  While the profound heartache of being less than perfect in my marriage is abundantly clear, I sadly admit there are so many aspects of my life that fall into the category of knowing better, but doing worse.

One of the ways I enjoy blessing my wife is by helping out around the house.  Though I still have a tendency to overload the washer and dryer I have been known to clean and fold a fair number of loads.  And I don't want to get to braggy about how many times I do the dishes or vacuum the house!  I know for a fact that when I do these things(without being asked....that's the key FELLAS!) it is a huge blessing to my wife. 

Last weekend my wife had to work in the ER(she is a nurse) both Saturday and Sunday for 12 hour shifts.  She works about an hour from where we live, but in the same town her parents live.  When she works back to backs she will spend the night at their house.  Before she left at 6am on Saturday she asked if I would get the house all cleaned up before she got home Sunday night.  I happily obliged. 

Seeing as I had two WHOLE days to get it done, I took my good ole time getting it done.  By Saturday evening very little had been accomplished.  And then the phone rang.  My wife had forgotten it was a back to back weekend and was almost home before she remembered and was just going to sleep at home and go back early again......

I panicked.

My poor, sainted mother, was visiting that weekend and I immediately put her to work.  Not only am I a great husband, but also a great son!  Like a tornado I ran around trying to make the house look like I had made at least some significant effort. 

I know without a doubt that the dumbest and most irresponsible thing is to put off doing something you are capable of doing right now.  And I knew that the more cleaning I got done, the more blessed my wife would feel.  I was a lazy bum.

Our lives are full of such absurdities.  We know the good we should do, but we will often choose to do something else.  What is wrong with us??!?!?!

In 1 John chapter 1 we are given a very clear standard that we have to come to terms with;

⁵ This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.

While something silly like not cleaning on Saturday is not what one would classically define as a "sin" it really is only the tip of the ice berg.  Here is the standard of God:  Being perfect.  And when we look at ourselves with unflinching honesty we have to admit we are not.  The over arching testimony off the Bible is this; God is Holy, we are not.  God is Just, and are lack of holiness will get dealt with! 

As I read this it can send a shudder down my spine.  By God's very defining characteristics my lack of perfect Holiness precludes my ability to even be near Him.  Light in its very nature banishes the darkness.  I am dark.  I can rightfully expect banishment.

John continues

⁸ If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. ¹⁰ If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us

We are told quite plainly that we MUST BE PERFECT to have fellowship with God.  And then we are told quite plainly that God WILL MAKE US PERFECT!  How is this done?  Through the finished work of Christ.  Our goal doesn't change, the conviction doesn't change.  The hope DOES.

The most difficult people in our lives are those who refuse to acknowledge their mistakes and short comings.  Honesty and humility are essential building blocks to healthy relationships.  I want, and work hard, to be a perfect husband.  I will never be that.  But I can be honest and confess my mistakes. 

The hope in Jesus is that while we keep falling short of the best us we deeply desire to be, He is there to pick us up and give us a fresh start.  The cross says over and over and over, "Lets try this again."

What in your life do you have to get brutally honest about?  Because the truth is that until you get honest with yourself and others, it is never going to get better.  The new life that we want is predicated upon confession.  Whether it is in your marriage, job, friendships, your faith, or, your family, you have to stop lying about who you really are.

This doesn't mean we ignore our darkness, we just stop denying it, and get to do the real work of shining a real light onto it. 

We need to be perfect.  We are not.  But when we accept that, then we have hope. 

Consuming Consumption

Have you ever not been hungry and ate more food anyways?  Welcome to my life.....Though I proudly trumpet my new found health and ever increasing rugged handsomness, I still struggle with unhealthy urges.  When those urges had more control of me I would often find myself eating well past being full.  My wife could always tell because when I overate I would have uncontrollable hiccups.  And the graceful woman that she is, she would always call me out. 

So why did I eat well beyond being full?

Because it made me feel good.

Even though it later made me feel bad......

Why do we over consume things?  Because they are filling in for something else.  We are a materialistic consumer driven culture.  And we are all victims of it.  Even the way grocery stores are arranged is to best induce you into buying more stuff....because you THINK you need it.  I just read about how even funeral homes put the most expensive caskets on the right hand side of the display room because almost every person turns right when they enter a room.

We consume, and consume, and consume.  Yet we never are satisfied.

The lie we have accepted and integrated into our lives is that we can go "get" something that will fill the gaping need we sense within ourselves.  We pursue things, people, money, sex, adventure, victories, etc, all in the desperate striving to finally feel ok.

Why are we like this? 

It is because we have objectified happiness and satisfaction.  Finite things and experiences have taken the place of objective truth and we treat these things as means to an end.  We feel no guilt about what we waste, whether people or things, because they have no greater value than what we wanted them to do for us for the moment that we wanted them.  When they lose their ability to bring us some sort of relief from the emptiness we toss them aside because they no longer have value.

In chapter 6 of the Gospel of John we have two great back to back stories.  First Jesus feeds 5,000 with some bread and some fish.  An amazing miracle that testifies to Jesus' divinity as well as supplying a real felt need(being hungry).  The crowd is excited about this Jesus fella and want to make Him King.  Since that is not why Jesus came to earth(to be an earthly king) He slips away and crosses the lake to another city. 

When the crowds figure out Jesus slipped away they follow after and confront Him, wanting more of the same, to which Jesus replies,

²⁶ Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. ²⁷ Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.”

In the face of an amazing miracle of Jesus, someone who they are beginning to recognize as not just any man, what do they want?  More food.....  Jesus then explains what He is really offering

³⁵ Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

How do they respond to all of this?

⁴¹ At this the Jews there began to grumble about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” ⁴² They said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?”

Do you get this?  When he was giving them "stuff" they were all about it.  When He told them to look past the stuff and just filling their "stomachs", they got grumpy.  They wanted full bellies when they were hungry, every time.....

There is a cycle of desperation and need seeking that we readily agree to accept.  We run from thing to thing when the need arises.  It has become as natural as breathing.  The pattern of allowing ourselves to get "starved" from what we really need followed by unhealthy binging so that we feel "ok" defines too much of our existence. 

Jesus came to not give you a meal to fill you up until you are desperate again.  He came to offer you hope and satisfaction that changes everything.  It changes the way we "need", the way we consume, the way we view people and things.  In Christ people and things are no longer objects existing to serve you.  Instead, they are beautiful gifts from a loving Father that deserve to be cherished, honored and enjoyed.  Not to control and drive you.  But to serve, and be served by, you.

Are you tired of the never ending cycle of starving and binging?  A pattern that never leaves you ultimately satisfied?  Stop looking to things that spoil.  Start looking to Christ.

How Much Beating my Kids is Too Much?

There is nothing more important to do as a parent than loving your kids.  The things you do for them, whether buying them toys, teaching them to read, feeding them, etc, are all nothing more than generic utilitarian practices when they are not rooted and shaped by a deep and abiding love. 

But don't forget that beatings are essential as well.  Not just beatings for punishment, but beatings for the pure sake of the importance of teaching kids that you are in charge.  Nothing helps a child develop a healthy sense of authority than using your superior strength to push them around.  In our house we actually schedule beatings by the clock.  10am....everyone line up for their beating....2pm...same thing.

If you haven't called child service yet, thanks for trusting in my unrelenting sarcasm.....

No matter how much you think you are loving your kids, throwing in a few random beatings(even if you think they are justified) has an odd way of derailing your whole showing them love philosophy.  Beating your kids and loving your kids are really just not able to be mutually practiced. 

Sadly we often practice a Christianity like this.  God loves you, but can't wait to beat you!  There He is, the cosmic score keeper, waiting for his chance to drop the hammer on you.  We create endless rules and regulations that we use to justify our behavior towards others and to create a sense of moral superiority to those who don't live up to our standards.  This develops an exhausting and painful Christianity that constantly tears down, but never builds up.

No matter how many times I say, "I love you son", it will not mitigate the beatings he receives.  Either he will develop an unhealthy concept of love that he will one day give to others(becoming a beater of children himself), or, he will become so destroyed by this experience that he will never fully function as a healthy adult. 

When we say, "God loves you", but then follow it up with telling someone how unlovable they are, we are creating either a fearful and beat up Christian, or, create not a Christian at all.

In Matthew 16:5-12 Jesus warns His disciples about the yeast of the Pharisees.  Just a little bit of their influence can destroy anything else that is good that you may be trying to do.  And what were the Pharisees all about?  Rules, rules and more rules.  And their "superior" ability to follow the rules made them prideful in themselves and abusive towards those who didn't live up to them.

Jesus is quite clear, and the New Testament reaffirms, that the abuses of legalism are incongruent with following Jesus.  The message of Christ is that while we were still sinners, He died for us!  It doesn't say, "You were pretty bad, but you got your act together and Jesus was like, ok, I can do this for you now".  The radical nature of the Gospel is that God offers us not a list of rules to exhaustingly follow, but, instead to experience a love that transforms us.

Does this mean there is no place for rules?  Anything goes?  Of course not.  I don't beat my kids up, but I also don't let them act inappropriately.  While the Pharisee would want to beat up their kid who messes up, Jesus picks them up, out of their mess and says, "I love you, let me help you" 

The Law of God is still valid, but how we apply it and how we practice it needs to radically change.  The Law is not a hurdle that we must leap to justify ourselves, but a mountain that we can be carried over.  In Love. 

The other day my son said something rude to an employee at Walmart.  As we were leaving she said, "Have a nice day!"  To which he responded "Nah nah nah nah"(said as snottily as possible).  I stopped in my tracks and explained to him that it was unacceptable and that he had to say he was sorry.  He refused.  After profusely apologizing for my sons behavior I had to leave(my ice cream was melting). When we got home I had a long talk with my son about how hurtful and rude it was and how sad I was that he would do that.  He didn't have much to say at that time....but the next day the miracle occurred. 

During breakfast he stopped eating and looked at me, "Dad, are you still sad about what I said to that worker yesterday?  Because I am too, I am sorry that I did that, I won't do it again."

Only four years old and his little heart was learning to break over what his father's heart broke over.  Not because I beat him, not because I yelled at him, but because I loved him and showed him in my words how much I cared about the person he "hurt".  When we are loved deeply and experience that love consistently, it shapes our heart towards the agent of that love. 

That is Christ in us and for us.  His heart breaks over our sin, BECAUSE he loves us.  And His love for us shapes us towards loving what He loves.

Where is the yeast of the Pharisees in your life? 

Staying Up when the Storms Come

Confession time:  I am not a very good gymnast.  Shocking I know.... I can't do a cartwheel, swing on the uneven bars, spin on the rings, or, leap over the horse thingy and do flips as I soar gracefully over.  But you know what I can do, walk on a balance beam.

The trick to walking successfully over a balance beam is really quite simple, and somewhat non-intuitive.  Don't look down at your feet, keep your head level and look forward.  I am sure that there is some sort of neurological reason for it, but I don't like doing research, so.....just trust me...SCIENCE!  But it does make sense, when you hyper focus on the ground you are more likely to lose your sense of directive balance.  Looking at your destination is more sure-fire recipe for success. 

Life illustration moment.......You can't allow yourself to lose your forward looking focus and momentum.  We have such a tendency to become consumed by the finite moments we get ourselves into.  Tunnel vision sets in and all we can sense and know seems to be the mud we are currently standing in.  Success in life is deeply rooted in a "tomorrow" vision.  When we live only stuck in the moment of our current condition(YOLO anyone...??) we make terrible choices and get even more stuck. 

Instead, when we have a vision that takes us out of where we are right now and sees where we are heading, it becomes infinitely easier to keep moving and not get lost in the moment.  Life is full of this.  And we are so prone to forgetting the future and being consumed by the present. 

Don't misread me.  Life isn't just a destination, we do need to embrace the immediacy of each day, but we can't become controlled by today.  What is happening to you, and, in your life, right now, is NOT THE END. 

What is your future focus?

In Matthew 14 we have this beautiful story of the disciples going ahead of Jesus on a boat.  Soon a strong wind buffets the boat with waves and Jesus walks out on the water to join them.  At first the disciples are a bit disconcerted assuming they are seeing a ghost.  Jesus says, "Nope, just me fellas(my paraphrase) and Peter says let me come out to you.

Peter wants to experience the power of Jesus.  He doesn't want to just sit in the boat and observe, he wants to leap right into the miraculous.  How often we content ourselves to sitting on the boat and accepting the mundane and boring life when the miraculous is right on the other side of the bow?!?! 

And he does it!

At first.....

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

He lost his focus on the destination, saw the problems, and he sank. 

There are two places you and I often find ourselves in;  1) To afraid to run to Jesus because we only see the "danger" in getting out of the boat.  2)  We lose our courage not long after starting off and we find ourselves sometimes in a more difficult place then we were before.

You are not made to sit in the boat.  Jesus is out there, calling you to join him.  Get up.  Get going.

Don't lose focus and courage once you start.  We start with good intentions, and that is when things can get frightening.  We are out of our comfort zone, it is scarier than we thought it was.  Too often we start off in a good way, but we don't follow through.  Sell out and run to Christ.

The great thing about Grace though is that even when we lose our footing Jesus doesn't give up on us.

 ^"Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him"

How encouraging.  How beautiful.  How true to my own heart.  So many times I set out with great intentions, and forget who I am looking towards.  Soon I find myself in over my head and drowning.  When I call out for help there isn't a lecture, or a thoughtful discussion on my mistakes.  IMMEDIATELY Jesus reaches out His hand and catches me. 

Walk with courage towards Christ, and know that when you fall prey to the storms in your life, you are not alone.  You will be lifted back up and you can begin again.

The Problem With Our Hearts

Behavior modification is all the rage in religion.  When you study the main precepts of any religion it is deeply tied to behavior.  Do this, don't do that.  To be a good "whatever" requires certain behavior markers that prove on the surface that you are what you claim to be.  At its heart is the idea that we, through our own strength, can perform acts of righteous justification.  Our self-evaluation, and the evaluation of others, becomes rooted in these measurables.  It seems so simple, so obtainable, so righteous.

But behavior modification is a load of baloney. 

My kids do not behave in the manner that I wish they would.  They are selfish, disobedient, difficult, whiny, frustrating.  Anyone who has raised kids could probably list some pretty funny scenarios where their kids bad behavior caused a bit of embarrassment.  Every day we go back to the drawing board of doing our best to shape and direct their behavior so that they can grow up to not get themselves put in jail. 

What I, and all parents, need to recognize is that bad behavior is not just bad behavior.  It is an outflow of the heart.  My son doesn't just need to stop telling us that we make "gisgusting" food as he pushes his plate angrily away.  He needs to have his heart, his innermost being, changed to WANT to honor his parents and be obedient.  I am bigger and stronger than him(for now) and I could absolutely force his behavior in a more appealing direction.  But what happens when I am no longer stronger and he lives on his own? 

In Matthew 12:34 Jesus has an insightful line, "For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart."  This whole section in Matthew is Jesus confronting the Pharisees in their behavior modification priorities at the expense of peoples hearts.  Your actions, in a vacuum, are not what honors God.  Your heart is what God seeks. 

So how do we change hearts?

"Moreover the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul so that you may live"--Deuteronomy 30:6

Religions love to talk about what you have to do to be good enough.  Jesus talks about what God is going to do so that you will be seen as righteous.  Behavior modification will only take us so far.  The fundamental change of our hearts will change our behavior forever. 

When we look at our lives and hearts we can see, when we are honest, so much sin and absurdity.  Quick to anger, bitterness, infidelity of heart and behavior, jealousy, etc.  And we can exhaust ourselves constantly trying to combat it.  There are little victories of course, but the war is always keeping us back on our heels.  God's promise is that the war is over, the victory is won, our hearts will be changed.  But only when we allow ourselves to have our hearts circumcised by Him.

Do you know you need to change?  Are there behaviors and sins that you just can't seem to get real control over?  Come to the Cross.  This isn't just some sort of philosophical theorizing, it is practical and true.  Repent and believe, the Kingdom is near.