Solving My Problems

My kids have a chronic condition where they refuse to eat their meals and then will later complain about how badly their stomachs hurt.  I will say, "You are hungry, you need to eat your food".  They of course will protest my assessment of their predicament.  After I have convinced them to eat they will magically feel better.  But they won't admit that my assessment and solution were accurate.  What fun would that be?

We can laugh at kids and their stubborn insistence in pretending that it isn't really their own choices causing their problems.  But adults are actually even worse at this behavior.  My grandfather was a life long smoker and whenever he would go to a doctor with a health complaint they would bring up his smoking as the most likely culprit...so he would find a new doctor.  

Our lives our full of self-imposed pain and suffering.  But we never want to look in the mirror and wrestle with the reality that the source of our discomfort is deeply rooted in what is inside of us and not what is outside of us.  There is this tendency our culture loves to promote that while on one hand we should be autonomous agents of our own destiny, we apparently cannot exercise any personal agency when we are facing difficulties that are the natural consequences of our "freedom"..

A pernicious and common mythology that our modern era loves to throw around is that self-love is the key ingredient to finally being happy.  But self-love is nothing more than the dressed up and socially acceptable version of narcissism.  I don't mean you should go around hating yourself and beating yourself up.  But the popular concept of self-love and self-"acceptance" is deeply coloured by the idea that what is limiting you and your happiness is not that you are selfish and destructive, but instead that you haven't repeated the mantra "I'm special" enough.  

As long as we persist in the lie that I, all on my own, am good enough.  I will forever find myself surprised by the degree to which my issues remain.  

Scripture is very clear.  You and I are not made for our own self-centered selves.  We are made to know and be known by God.  The fullness of who we truly are is only found in the context of a relationship with our creator.  He who knit us in our mothers wombs knows what it is we need to fix that which ails us.  

And what ails us is our distance from God.  A distance that is self-imposed as we spend more time worshipping at the altar of self-love instead of the altar of Christ love.

Luckily God has given us a straight forward guide to addressing the distance we feel and we see it laid out with clarity in James 4.

7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.- James 4:7-10

In an attempt to make this helpful I am going to just quickly break it down with its application:

Submit Yourself To God - The very start of all of this is that you have a heart position that says, "not my ways but yours".  If you are unwilling to go where God is going to call you.  Unwilling to be obedient in an area that is hard.  Then you might as well give up because you are going nowhere.

Resist the devil - Are you fighting against sin in your life?  Not that you are sinless, but are you continually fighting against sin??  Your closeness to God is going to have a powerful interconnectivity to your fighting sin.  God is Holy.  Sin and God do not co-exist.  If you have made peace with your sin and either are no longer resisting, or, even embracing and celebrating it, do not expect closeness to God.  It is impossible.

Come near to God and He will come near to you - In the middle of this passage is a promise.  Not a maybe.  A promise.  If you are truly seeking after God He WILL come close.  Even when you stumble and do not get as far as you want.  If you are trying, He is there. 

Wash your hands - Here is a simple, yet challenging statement.  What does it mean to wash your hands?  To reveal and have it cleaned.  You can't clean your hands hidden in your pockets.  You need to expose them.  You aren't dealing with sin if you are hiding it.  Expose it to the light.  This is confession and repentance.  If you aren't confessing your sins, know that they will not get out of your way as you try to get closer to God

Grieve, mourn and wail - If distance from God, if sin, do not grieve you, I promise you that your heart doesn't actually desire to get close to God.  Until your distance from God grieves you the motivation will be lacking

Humble yourself - And finally, in summation.  Be humble.  This means, it's not about you.  It's about God.  It's not about what you want.  It's not about what you can get, its not about your ideas and plans.  It's all about God.  God alone.  

So friends.  Get off the endless hamster wheel of self-improvement narcissism as you attempt to finally fix that brokenness you can't ignore when the night creeps in and the noise of a distracted life fades away.  You have a true condition that lies at the root of all your problems.  The answer isn't finding more affirmation, but more worship and obedience to your creator.  And when you love Christ above all, you will know you are loved beyond imagination.  Because only He who died for you can love you in the way your broken heart desperately wishes for.   

What IS the Gospel?

We throw around a lot of words in our day to day lives that we do not always have a complete grasp on its meaning.  One of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride, we see one character constantly yell "Inconceivable" as the event he is stating is inconceivable is actually happening.  Which leads another character to plainly state "you keep saying that word, I do not think you know what it means".

As Christians, there are a lot of big and fun theological words we like to throw around to prove our bona fides with other believers, and hopefully appear quite smart to outsiders.  But the most important word we say, and often do not grasp fully, or explain totally, is "Gospel".

The straightforward answer to what IS the Gospel, is, Good News.  Specifically that Christ died for sinners.  And that is the greatest good news of all the good news that could have ever been news'd.  But there is a lot to it that we miss.  And when we miss the details, we are missing a richness and a power that is the engine that drives the good news.

Jesus starts His ministry in Mark 1 with this proclamation.

 15 “The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!”

"There it is" you shout.  Jesus does use the word Gospel here which is often rendered as "good news".  Do not miss though that there is a powerful context that can't be skipped over to shout "Good News".

First Part:  The time has come--The Bible describes all of creation groaning(Romans 8:22) in anticipation of God's redemption of His creation.  Jesus is announcing to those of us who are desperately waiting on redemption and healing that the promised time has come.

And what is the important context of that time arriving??

Second Part:  The kingdom of God has come near---  Jesus does not say, God has come to help you out in your life.  This is IMPORTANT.  God is KING.  And it is HIS kingdom that is coming to bring about that which creation has been groaning for.  And our first HONEST response should be FEAR.

All of Romans 2 explains why.  God is Holy and will judge all people.  There will be no place to hide.  No excuses to be made.  The kingdom of God is His and all those who are in sin will be eternally separated from God.  By God's very nature His holiness will not fellowship with sin.  When the kingdom of God comes, you are either His, or in sin, and those in sin will face what the Bible calls Hell.

Third Part:  Repent--- The Biblical word Repent is another one we often misuse.  It isn't simply a statement of "I'm Sorry"  It means an active turning FROM sin and going TOWARDS God.  This part of Jesus's call in Mark chapter 1 is that all of creation has been waiting for the Holy and Righteous King to come and establish HIS Kingdom and therefore, you and I, need to run to God and away from sin.

Fourth Part:  And believe the Good News--- Here is what the good news is really all about.  You and I are DEAD in our sins(Ephesians 2).  But Christ enters into death on our behalf, and defeats it.  In our sin and death we CANNOT run from Sin, but the good news is that Christ dives into our sin, pays our price and carries us towards the Father.

The Good News is never about what we have done in response to the coming of a Holy King who will Judge all, but it is about our inability to save ourselves and, by faith, believing in the work of Christ that has been done on our behalf.

See, no matter where you are at right now, God IS coming to establish HIS kingdom.  He is not coming to fix some stuff up for you and clean up our messes to make things more palatable for us. The Good News is that redemption is coming, and YOU can be a part of it BECAUSE of Jesus.

That is the Gospel.

The Gospel Doesn't Care if you Fail Today

We have developed a pretty extreme standard of evaluation for success.  Specifically, that it must happen immediately.  This is influencing nearly every aspect of our lives. 

What are some of the most popular television shows over the last few years?  Reality competition.  American Idol, the Voice, Project Runway, etc.  They all promise something very similar.  You, yes you, are a diamond in the rough.  Overnight we will discover your God given talent, launch you into the stratosphere and you can bask in the glow of your own brilliance for the decades to come. 

Perhaps you would never try out for something like this, but when we look at our culture today we see this same insipid attitude permeating every nook and crevice of societal thought and progression.  Recently I was reading about how the Millennial Generation was struggling post college.  The dream careers they had been promised were not materializing.  One particular character was profiled in a NYT's piece who was currently living in his parents basement.  Now, he had been offered a well paying job right out of college(50k+) but it wasn't REALLLLLYYY what he saw himself doing to "change the world" and "live his dreams".  So, instead of contributing to society, he was playing Xbox in his parents basement......

Do you remember layaway?  It used to be the common method of purchasing something you needed or wanted.  You made a long term disciplined commitment to putting away a set amount of money towards the eventual purchase of the item.  Today we just carry credit card debt with huge interest rates.  We want that big screen TV today, not in 12 weeks.  So what if I pay 20% more than it is really worth.  My life is poorer if I have to wait.....

It is what we desire from our politicians today.  I have a problem, however I define it, and it should be fixed.....immediately.  The long term costs of fixing the problem today do not factor into whether or not it is actually a good idea, fix it for me this very moment!  And the politician who promises the most quick fixes gets my vote......

Can you name any successful weight loss programs that advertise that if you stick to our plan for the next 2 years you will do great????  Or, are the ones that are out there promising 10 minutes of exercise 3 times a decade.......

In the Gospel of John chapter 7 Jesus has been rubbing everyone the wrong way.  He has called out their self-centered hypocritical religiosity and basically ticked off all the big wigs in Jerusalem.  No one is clamoring for more of this criticism.  They are actually plotting to try to kill him.  So, the next day, since it wasn't working out very well, JC went on vacation.....I mean....He came right back and kept at it. 

During Jesus' Earthly ministry He experienced arguably more setbacks than victories.  Not to mention an entire community would turn against Him and cheer for His execution.  You might argue that He did all of that because He knew what was going to happen in the end.  But, you and I, we clearly aren't God, we don't really know about tomorrow. 

And that, my friends, is our problem.

Could you die tonight in a freak ceiling fan accident?  Of course.  But by focusing on the limited reality of our temporal existence we accept a false premise that our lives are measured, and therefore, valued, by finite circumstances.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ and His finished work on the cross instead points to the reality that every moment of our lives is a beautiful facet in the tapestry of our eternally designed purpose.

We have become prisoners to the tyranny of the moment.  The seduction of the quick fix.  The comfort of the easy solution.  What makes us feel good today becomes the highest standard of our subjective morality and evaluation of value.

The Gospel is not concerned with the immediacy of the moment, but in the reflection of an Eternal God.  Even in the suffering and the failure of a moment eternity beckons us forward.  When we make decisions from a perspective of self we make limiting choices that disconnect us from a larger picture.

When Jesus returns to Jerusalem in chapter 8 the teachers of the Law bring an adulteress to Jesus to judge.  They point out her clear sin, and, the clear punishment.  Black and white and in response to the immediate moment they demand "judgement".   The law, the tyranny of the moment, demands us to value each other's personhood by our most recent success or transgression.  The Gospel tells us that we are more than our failures.  Sin locks us into being defined by our moments.  The Gospel frees us to be shaped by Christ's love. 

Though you may die tonight, the life God has made you for, and the life you are called to, is one that sees the moments of your life as part of an ever continuing whole.  Are you looking to feel good today, or be met in love and grace forever?  There is a reason that the Gospel message is to come and die, to pick up our cross.  Living for yourself shrinks your experience and joy to a mere moment.  Living in Christ extends it to everlasting.

Even when you make a terrible mistake, you are never a mistake

  

Proof is in the Pudding

CS Lewis wrote that for us to say we love our neighbor, but then to avoid them, is not love at all.  If we are to truly love our neighbor, we are to act in accordance to what love is.  Active, engaged, sacrificial.  He goes on to say that when we begin to discipline ourselves to behaving AS IF we loved them, we will soon discover that we have truly come to love them.

Lip service is what we are most comfortable offering to people.  What we are most comfortable offering to God.  Telling your spouse, "I Love you" is easy.

But the words do not make it true

Affirming with words all the truths of Christianity is easy.

But it doesn't make you a Christian.

There is a funny little truth about the way we are wired.  Actions drive our feelings.  Feelings rarely create consistent action.  When the butterflies of new love wear off, we are left with nothing but the decision to either, by an act of the will, continue to live in love, or, to not. 

When we wait until we "feel" like something to do something, those feelings and those actions become ever more spaced apart.  Consistently applying the will to act in accordance with the behaviors we know to be true and right, develops the feelings and allows them to grow over time.

This does not mean "resigning" oneself to misery and obligation.  A willful act of love is actively aligning your heart with you behavior.  Begrudgingly forcing something grows resentment.  Engaging the whole self towards acts of love changes us from the inside out. 

Christian's are not called to have feelings about God.  But to live in accordance to the truth about God.  Life is messy.  It can be tragic, and broken.  There are times when our pain and frustration will cause us to say, "No more, not today, I can't do it." 

These are the most important times for our internal(and eternal) development.  When the deck is stacked against us, how do we respond? 

"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves such as have a broken spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him from them all."

- Psalm 34:18-19

 

I bet you missed something when you read that. 

 

It doesn't say WHEN deliverance will come.  The act of Christian faith is to not to always have the answers RIGHT NOW, or, to have an easy care-free life, but to be rooted in the hope we have in the promise that is found in the Cross. 

 

And that takes a daily act of the will. 

 

Our hope cannot be based upon some previous feelings of bliss and heart racing palpitations of early love.  Because those things fade.  And if that is all you hoped in, you will be crushed when difficulties arise. Instead, in the person of Christ we have a promise that doesn't erase the struggle today, but points to the hope of every tomorrow.  When we begin to be shaped by this, it changes our behaviors today. 

 

Let me challenge us in two ways....

 

1- Are you waiting to feel good about God before you hope in God?  That will get you no where.  Make a decision to actively seek Him even when it is not easy, and you will find your hope. 

 

2-  This is about us as people living with people as well.  What relationships are you struggling in right now.  Can you begin to stop trying to change how you feel, but change how you act?  Your relationship doesn't need jump started feelings, but a new way of loving.

 

 

When You Just Can't Please People

Have you ever been in a situation where it seems that no matter what you do you are going to be in trouble?  To be honest, sometimes it is completely on you.  When I was in high school I thought it would be a grand romantic gesture to buy my girlfriend a "diamond"(in quotations because it was so small it barely qualified as a diamond and cost less then $120) for Christmas.  My parents were, and still are, fairly wise people.  I knew that they would never accept me doing something so ill advised.  So I kept it secret from them. 

Being a good mother.....my mom "found" the receipt "accidentally" in the bottom of my underwear drawer....Seriously mom, what were you doing in there anyways...can't you just trust me???.....And my parents sat me down for a "talk".  Since they were scheming tricksters who liked letting me hang myself they asked me to share with them again what I had bought for my girlfriend.  My radar was up, but I thought I could skate through this.  So I lied.  And then...BOOM...here comes the evidence. 

At this point there was nothing I could say to protect myself.  The lying part of the event caused my parents to punish me with an assignment to write a 6 page biblically researched paper about lying and respecting your parents.  Which led to my second unwinnable situation.  I was grounded UNTIL I finished the paper.  So, the quicker I got it done, the quicker I was free.  I wrote it in one day....and it was actually quite good.  But that resulted in my parents pointing out that I would never be able to get away with turning a class assignment in late ever again......which I had a tendency to do...sometimes literally MONTHS late. 

Damned no matter what I do..... And it was totally my fault....

But there is a much more difficult place to be stuck.  When nothing you do will cause someone to respond well to you.  And you ARE NOT in the wrong.  This is a terrible place to be.  When you find yourself there it can become debilitating.  You start to make bad decisions, and even crazy ones, just in the hopes that maybe something will break this impasse.  Being consumed by worry about this persons opinion of you leads to all sorts of unhealthy choices and mindsets. 

Being a people pleaser is no way to live.

While it is to be commended when we seek to be servant hearted, that shouldn't drift into bad behaviors for the sake of serving.  Then you won't be serving anyone.... My son is a tyrant at meal times.  NOTHING we offer is good enough for him.  Should we then offer him candy?  Of course not.  I can't force feed him, but I also will not compromise truth and health just to make him "happy"


"For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, "He has a demon,".  The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, "Here is a glutton and a drunkard"--Matthew 11:18-19

People, in their sin, complained about John for one reason, and then, complained about Jesus for the opposite reason.  You just can't win with some people.  The problem wasn't John's ministry or Jesus's message.  The problem was sinful hearts.  No matter how graceful, loving and miraculous either man could be in their midst, they had already decided in their hearts to be opposed to them. 

So how do we handle it?

By not handling it....

Jesus goes on to say, "Wisdom is proved right by her actions".  The context leads us to understand that the wise choice in the midst of the complaints is to do what is right.  Not because someone will respond well to it, but, BECAUSE it is right.  If someone still wants to be mad at you, that's on them.  At the heart of someone's dissatisfaction with you is often the reality of sin.  Root yourself, not in their opinions and reactions, but instead on the Word of God. 

So how do you respond to someone who treats you like that?  Love and patience!  You can't change them by what you do, you just have to love them.  The ministry of Jesus and the Gospel is not about "proving" it is right so that people get over themselves and their complaints.  It is about changed hearts through the work of the Holy Spirit.  And, unless I am gravely mistaken, you are not the Holy Spirit.  Do what is right, speak what is true, serve them as Christ served you.  And let the chips fall where they may.