Suffering In UnSilence

There are two extremes when it comes to suffering that seem to be the most commonly observed reactions.  Either someone over dramatizes their "despair" and insists everyone look upon the great injustice that they have been subjected to, or, they stoicly and privately "grin and bear it".  The attention seeker and the hidden pain.

Hurt and pain, in these extremes, exists for personal gratification through attention, or, it is without point and so must be pushed down and hidden because who cares.....

What if neither response is a correct response to the meaning of suffering?

What if suffering is a beautiful purposeful experience that points to a greater hope than even a removal of that suffering??

Colossians 1:24 points suffering in a much different light than we often allow ourselves to believe;

Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church. 

Paul, writing here, does not whine and ask for sympathy, neither does he pretend everything is ok.  Instead he rejoices!  And why does he rejoice?  Because it is in his suffering that he is fulfilling the message of Christ's hope to his readers in brilliant technicolor.  He IS NOT saying that Jesus didn't do enough on the cross, but that in Paul's joyful and hope centered response to suffering he is making tangible what the power of the Gospel is all about.

When suffering is about US, we gravitate to the unhealthy poles of extremism.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ is that ALL suffering belongs to the finished work on the cross.   Earlier in this letter Paul makes it clear that from Eternity past to Eternity future all things are under the Lordship of Christ.  Even our suffering.  Even our pain.  Even our breath.  Even our death.

Starting with this truth, we see that what we are suffering through is not outside of the control of God, as if He has been rendered powerless and incompetent in the face of great tradgedy.  But that instead this, even this, is working towards a great weight of Glory in Eternity.  

The most powerful testimony to the Goodness of God is not that God lets you win the lottery, or your cancer is healed, or that your children come home, but that your heart can sing with a joy that is not defined by the momentary circumstances of our lives.

Paul understands something that I wish I(and others) would embrace more completely more often.  Offering the Cross to the lost, and freedom to the slave, is not an offer to money, health, and material blessing.  Instead, it is an offer to suffer for the sake of a hope that surpasses suffering.  The Colossians were not going to be encouraged in a lasting way by Paul saying, "look, I started following Christ and my pain in my side went away, my shorter leg grew longer and I found money in my couch".  Surely this would be enticing for a while, but when the brokeness of life caught up with them they would see the lie for what it is.  Paul did not offer quick fixes and temporary blessings, he said, "Look at how I suffer, and how even in my suffering I celebrate the goodness of a God who gave up Himself for my sake".

We often "sell" our church, our beliefs, our faith, on the premise of "look how great it is here!!! look how happy we are!!! look how much better off our lives are now that we are "in"!!!"  Instead, we should follow Paul's example.

To weep with each other.

To face difficulties with each other.

To be honests about our failures and imperfections.

And in the midst of it all point to the Cross that stands over it all and calls us to lie down along still waters!  To be joyful that even our very suffering declares the power of the Hope we have in Christ.

Even when it is good, we can be selfishly angry about it....

Prosperity Gospel, Shifting Cultures and a Theology of Suffering

My son thinks I am a bully.  I know this because he told me so.  After punching him a few times and taking his lunch money I was shocked to hear him express this sentiment......Well, that isn't exactly what I did.  What happened was, and you can help me judge this decision, he had not eaten his vegetables at dinner so he couldn't have a sugary snack.  Therefore...BULLY. 

There is a tendency in all of us to desire things that aren't good for us.  At its heart this is simply a way of saying "sin".  We are image bearers of God, and that indicates that we are therefore designed as a reflection of the character and nature of God Himself.  When He gave His law to us it wasn't just a random list of do's and don't's, but instead a reliable witness and testimony to His very character and the outflow being our design parameters. 

The nature of sin is such that we are in constant conflict with our divine design.  Scripture tells us that our "flesh" is at constant war with God.  Our very deepest felt and innate desires too often betray this truth; We are broken.  And this brokenness, by its very definition and character, separates us from God. 

So what do we do when confronted with the reality of our brokenness?  We do two things that seem radically different, yet are different sides of the same self-centered destructiveness.

1-  We become legalists who take the Law as a personal challenge.  The promise and the goal of being a legalist is that we will; 1- Make ourselves right before God, and, 2- Be greatly blessed by temporal rewards because we are doing everything right.  This second part is most easily associated with what is called the prosperity gospel(notice the purposeful lower case g). 

Both practices of legalism are just different versions of prosperity teaching.  You do this, you get that.  If you DIDN'T get that, you are just not trying hard enough.....God finds your lack of faith....disturbing.....

2- We become Grace Abusers who reject the conviction of God's truth and place personal satisfaction and fulfillment of felt desires as the highest achievable standard because if, "God is all about love and Grace, he obviously wants me to be happy...."

Grace Abusers are just prosperity gospellers without any effort. 

It is of no small coincidence that as the 20th Century saw the growth of the prosperity gospel we also saw a rapid change in the moral compass of western civilization, and particularly America.  As we elevated personal satisfaction and happiness to a sacred place it is no wonder that the greatest modern heresy and bigotry is apparently practiced by those who say, "No!"

The Gospel of Jesus Christ has been co-opted as the get rich scheme of eternal self-pleasure.  If something makes you uncomfortable, calls you to reject something you enjoy, deny yourself and pick up a cross, it must be, by definition, wrong.  Mean.  Sinful. 

A gospel that promises temporal pleasure, whether materially, emotionally, relationally, or otherwise, is a gospel that will not sustain or survive. 

The truth of the Gospel is not found in the measurable and quantifiable "blessings" experienced by those who have put their faith in Christ, but it is instead found in the place where suffering and pain are met with joy and peace.  In John 16 Jesus makes a clear promise to his disciples, and to us as well. 

"I have told you these things, so that you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart.  I have overcome the world!"-- John 16:33

The context of John's 16th chapter is that those who are following Jesus can expect there lives to be more clearly marked by suffering than by personally experiencing victory.  Phrasing is everything.  Jesus does not end this warning with, "Do not worry, you shall totally overcome".  Instead he points to Himself and the ultimate hope and victory that is ours beyond this life because HE HAS already overcome.  He does not give ANY indication that this secured victory will translate into temporal successes. 

The modern Church has lost an essential theological bulwark.  A robust Theology of Suffering.  By this I do not mean some sort of wallowing and depressing resignation to be miserable.  The theology of Suffering is a recognition that life is broken and the World is in opposition to God, and those who follow Christ will not only still experience the temporal struggles that affect all people, but they can also expect spiritual challenges. 

But what did Jesus says in John 16:33??  He has overcome.  Our hope, the Gospel, is that even in the midst of great suffering, whether emotional, physical, relational and otherwise, God has come down, Jesus has carried that pain and the Holy Spirit dwells within us as a deposit of our faith and the source of our strength to face all things with Joy.  To, as Paul put it, count all our losses as gains for the sake of Christ! 

When we elevate personal comfort than all manner of things will not only become accepted, but, even advocated for as being "good".  That which was once evil is now contended for as good....When you or I believe that Christ's purpose was to make me comfortable today I have laid the groundwork for exactly that. 

Christ told us to count the cost.  And many walked away, because it cost them too much they thought.  But let us remember, "But to who else would we go, YOU have the words of eternal life"-- John 6:68.

 



From a good read on a Theology of Suffering

 

 

Irritable Bowels and Sanctification

What separates successful writers and bloggers from those who are unsuccessful?  Honesty.  Well, honesty and having interesting things to say.  Well, I can do honesty.  Real, deep, shocking honesty. 

About 10 years ago I was at work when I began to experience debilitating pain in my side and stomach.  It was so bad that I wasn't able to stand up straight and any type of movement caused more pain.  My coworker, who was studying medicine, assured me that it must be a hernia.  As someone who regularly proves his manliness by lifting and tossing around absurdly heavy items, I agreed with his assessment.  Off to the ER I went.

After a few gentle prods and some basic questions the doctor had me go in for an x-ray to see the extent of the damage.  About an hour later my doctor and nurse had wry smiles on their faces as they intently studied my x-ray images.  While trying to not laugh, my doctor informed me that I did not have a hernia, I was just full of crap.  Literal crap.  Full of it.  Blocked up in my intestines. 

My mothers response was simply to say that she could have told me that without a visit to the ER.....

For a number of years I had always had stomach annoyances.  But I finally had an answer to why I never felt quite right.  I was all backed up and had the ambiguously defined, IBS, or, Irritable Bowel Syndrome. 

It is really hard to nail down the exact causes for IBS.  It is sort of like saying you have a head ache in your stomach.  It is often used as a catch all that helps describe most non-diagnosable stomach maladies.  But the one consistent solution and approach to addressing the problem is diet.  Cut out unhealthy carbs, sugars, and add fibrous veggies and lots of water. 

Over the course of the last decade I have slowly gotten better and better at maintaining a healthy diet.  Since my kids have been born I have been really good at it.  I follow a mostly low-carb diet and drink an inhuman amount of water every day.  Also, I take an extreme fiber powder in a large bottle of water twice a day.  It is a fiber powder made out of psylum husk powder....yummmmmmy. 

This radical behavior change has had two significant benefits:  1) I rarely have stomach issues  2)  I have lost a ton of weight...At my largest I was about 285...Today I am 190.  The original goal was not to lose weight, I just wanted the pain to stop.  But the weight loss has been a wonderful and significant bonus.  The weight loss aspect of a "safe" diet helps in maintaining the diet.

Sin is like IBS.  It causes pain, it takes away your peace, it can literally double you over as it "backs up" your spiritual body.  And the process of dealing with it is very similar.

1)  You have to directly address it when you find discover it.

The first thing my doctor did for me was give me a prescription for a mega-strength laxative.  When I asked him if I would notice it was working he laughed and said, "There will be NO question about it".  He was right.  And I felt a thousand times better.  I could stand up straight, I could lift things, I no longer had the sense of constant cramping.

The first step with dealing with sin is confession.  Like a prescription laxative you gotta get that stuff out.  As long as it is just festering inside of you it will affect everything you try to do.  It is a handicap that can bring you to your knees.  And, like the laxative, confession is just the beginning.  A non-negotiable first step, but not the permanent solution.

2)  You have to change your "diet"

How I used to eat didn't cause me to have IBS, but it played right into the inborn problems that already existed within me.  If I didn't want to end up in the hospital again being laughed at as a doctor looked at my x-ray, I had to radically overhaul my diet.  Out goes the junk, and in comes the fresh veggies and lean meats.

The theological term for this ongoing life change is Sanctification.  It means the ongoing lifestyle change that leads to becoming more and more Christ like.  And sanctification doesn't just mean adding a bit of good to the bad, it means eliminating the bad and adding the good.  I am sure it would have been somewhat helpful to do nothing more than adding broccoli to my diet.  But as long as I insisted on eating all the other bad stuff, the broccoli would always be on the losing side of the bowel battle. 

Often we don't want to actually eliminate sinful behavior.  We just try to add some extra religion to the diet.  It's like having a salad with your triple thick extra large milkshake.  Not going to do too much positive for you.  Ironically, we then get frustrated and say, "This just isn't working!!"  And quit eating salads all together, because, seriously, what's the point if it isn't helping!?!?

Your spiritual life is not going to change because you sprinkled in some Jesus.  The diet needs to change.  Maybe you even try to go 50-50, but in the end, unhealthy always wins.  Sin is an addiction.  To self, to pride, to rebellion, to destructive behaviors.  Could you imagine a meth addict trying to beat their addiction by drinking more water and going for a jog....right after smoking meth???  That is what we do spiritually.  And it NEVER works.

3)   You have to regularly "purge"

I don't drink heavy duty fiber every day because it is so scrumptious.  Drinking fiber keeps me ahead of the game.  It doesn't let things slowly build up in my stomach.  I am not perfect at only eating that which is good.  Keeping a healthy dose of fiber in my routine helps me stay on a healthy path.

Confession is not a one time thing.  It needs to be the first-step, but the ongoing work of sanctification requires regular confession.  You have to keep cleaning house so that your healthy diet does what it is going to do.  When we believe the lie that we already "dealt" with all of that "back then" we are allowing sin to creep its way right back in. 

Purging/confessing has an added benefit.  It staves off relapses.  Sin IS addiction.  Eating unhealthy IS an addiction.  Fiber helps clear out my system so it doesn't set off triggers that make me want to eat a whole sleeve of girl scout cookies.  Confession keeps me from falling back into old habits that control me. 


When we actually begin to address our pain there is a correlated benefit.  We start to "look" better.  I changed my diet and drink fiber because I was in pain.  Losing weight is an amazing benefit.  But it wasn't the goal.  And, when I really got serious about losing weight as well, the bowel problems basically became non-existent. 

Dealing with sin directly begins the process of healing.  And it changes more than just your pain.  It changes you.  But it takes commitment.  Every time I indulge in something "bad" for me, I can feel my problems coming back.  Now, though, I know what to do.  I hop right back on top of that wagon and get on track.  I have been sick, and I have been well.  I will choose being well every single time.

How is your spiritual life?  Are you in pain, doubled over, feeling like you are full of crap?  Confess, change your behavior, and, keep confessing.  It can be difficult to adjust to at first, but one day you will look back and ask yourself, "What took me so long?!?!"

2 Steps forward, 2 Steps back

My Problems

I know two things that are completely and inarguably true:  1)  I have problems.  2)  They are because of me.  Actually, I know a third thing that is also true: 3) You are exactly like me concerning the first two truths.

Whoa whoa whoa!  I hear you yelling at the screen you are reading this on(assuming you don't print out my blog and read it at your leisure, which I assume many of you do...).  But Adam(you again), I agree, I have problems.  But they are rarely MY fault.  So and so did "this" and so and so did "that".  My job(or lack of one) causes "this".  Don't forget my "disease" was out of my control.  I am offended that you are "blaming the victim"!!

I see the disconnect you and I are having.  Let me define what I mean by "problems".

A problem is not your circumstances.  Circumstances are just events that have happened.  In and of themselves they are valueless.  Our perspective and reaction TO the circumstances are the problems. 

Explain yourself!!(you again)

Have you ever noticed that people in the exact same circumstances can have a profoundly different response and outcome?  One person loses a child and goes into a tailspin of depression and self-destruction, while another person starts a charity/organization that positively impacts and serves thousands of people who are going through the same thing.  The initial pain response to the circumstances is the same, but the reaction is radically different.  One person becomes defined and controlled by the "problem" they perceive, while the other defines themselves by who they will choose to be in the midst of that pain.

When we make the choice to be controlled by our perception of the problem we create an environment in which we will be constantly anxious, angry, resentful, depressed, etc.  This mindset is often coupled with aggression towards the original source of those negative circumstances.  If we are angry at someone, we blame them for MAKING us angry.

Guess what?  No one can make you do anything.  How you choose to respond is completely up to you.  Sure, sometimes responding in a healthy way can be extremely difficult based on some of our circumstances, but it is still up to us.  We refuse to take personal responsibility for the choices we make and continue to make.  It is always someone else's fault.

For the past few weeks I have been teaching through the book of Malachi.  It is quickly becoming one of my favorite books in the Bible.  Every word in it seems to speak right to me.  The heart of the book is that Israel is suffering in a myriad of ways and they cry out to God to complain about their perception that He has abandoned them and does not love Him.

How does God respond?

I love you, I love you, I love you.  But guess what?  The reason you feel the way you do, the reason you have this "problem" in your lives, is due to your choices and your behavior.  And why am I letting you suffer through the consequences of your choices?  Because I love you, I love you, I love you. 

Yes, bad things have happened to Israel.  But their despair is not about those circumstances, it is about their self-righteous indignation towards those they blame.  Never willing to ask what part they may have played to get where they are.

Right in the middle of Malachi, as God is patiently detailing the many terrible and sinful choices Israel has made, is the most important line in all the text;  Return to me, and I will return to you.(3:7)  He is saying, you are your own source of your problems.  Your choices, your responses, your heart.  That is all on you.  Yet I stand here, patiently, lovingly, gracefully, inviting you to a place where your "problems" will be healed.

How do we stop having "problems"?  By making the choice to allow God to change our response to our circumstances.  When we lay down our pride, our self-centeredness, our own choices, we are finally able to come to a place that says, "I cannot do this, take my heart and change it."

Bad things are going to happen to you.  People will hurt you and frustrate you.  There will be death, disease, pain.  But we do not have to be defined by them.  Be defined by the one who can make all things new. 

If you make the choice to have a velociraptor as a pet,

you only have yourself to blame.....

Why my kids(and everyone else) really annoy me!!

My kids are reaallllllllyyyyy needy.  Like, insanely, obnoxiously needy.  Since their birth I cannot recall a day that they didn't impose their neediness on my otherwise idyllic personal life.  Some of the most obnoxious things I have resigned myself to enduring are; Preparing 3(THREE!!!) meals a day, daily baths, diaper changes, baths, snuggling, book reading(sometimes the same one multiple times!!), listening to their stories(which rarely are very engaging since they generally lack a purpose and plot), and lets not forget I have to put them to bed every night since they don't just walk off and get in bed promptly at 8 every evening.

You know why their neediness is so offensive to me?  Because I am insanely self-centered.  My self-centeredness does not just effect my view on my perception of my children's obnoxious neediness, it causes me to be offended by everyone's neediness.  Every time someone, uninvited, engages into my life it is an affront to my independence and plans.  Sure, I want my kids around, but only when I am the one who wants them around.  I would prefer they operate on my schedule and stop infringing upon mine. 

And that goes for everyone else as well!

I will be your friend, as long as our friendship is convenient to my needs and wants.  I will be your spouse, as long as I am feeling "spousey" at the time.  God forbid you want or need something from me when I am not actually interested in that at that exact moment.  I am the sun at the center of my universe and I prefer everyone to be oriented around me.  Spinning and moving according to the dictates of my own personal gravitational pull.

Now, why am I, and seemingly everyone else, so lonely and depressed????  It doesn't seem to make sense...I only do what I want when I want to with who I want to.  And the more and more I put myself first, the more and more I feel driven to fix my problems that seem to keep occurring by putting myself first.  Yet it never gets better.....

Selfishness is arguably the most destructive attitude and behavior that us imperfect mortals can embrace.  Why does this looking inward become so damaging?  Because at our fundamental level, we are not that great of a person in the first place.  Don't get me wrong, you are probably pretty nice and friendly.  I know I am.  But at my very core I sense a destructive nature within me.  As the apostle Paul said, "I don't do what is good, but I do what I hate". 

Be honest, think about your own life.  How many times do you know what you should do, but you do the opposite?  Everyone knows that overeating and smoking is terrible.  But we do it anyways.  Even while it is killing us we can't bring ourselves to stop behaviors, attitudes and mindsets.  Our constant struggle is that at the same time we ARE improving some areas of our internal life, we still recognize a bunch of messed up crap inside of ourselves. 

No one knows us better then we know ourselves.  And when we become more and more selfish we become more and more defined by a destructive relationship with a person who is extremely harmful; Our own self!!  What if your only friend in the whole world was angry, bitter, selfish, violent, etc, how would that effect you?  That is what selfishness creates for us.

How do we change this?  How do we move from broken selfishness to healthy wholeness?

³⁶ When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. --Matthew 9

Jesus is God.  He came for a very essential purpose.  Reconciliation and redemption of sinful man with a Holy God through His death and resurrection.  He is preaching about repentance and the Kingdom and what is the response of the crowds??  Help me, fix me, do this for me, make my runny nose stop running!!!!

How would I generally respond?  Seriously folks, this is quite inconvenient to my goals right now....

How does Jesus respond?  Compassion.

Their needs and hurts were not viewed as an inconvenience to Jesus, but instead the outward manifestation of their internal pain and loneliness.  Instead of thinking about Himself, He thought about them.  And He loved them. 

When I find myself frustrated with people in my life for their constant demands I forget that what is true about me is what is true about them.  They are harassed and helpless.  Hurting and lonely.  Sad and desperate.  While I am being selfish I am mad at them for my perception of their being selfish.  When I am angry about their neediness it is always because I want to put MY neediness before theirs. 

Why are my kids obnoxiously needy?  Because they NEED me.  They are just like me.  And just like them, I need help.  When I become bitter and resentful to their needs, I am in turn shutting off finding my own needs being met.  Living for myself only leads to a deeper and deeper problem of brokenness.  My lack of compassion for others needs creates a mindset that there is no compassion for mine. 

The process of believing that the needs of others are inconvenient and obnoxious causes us to internalize our own hurt and pain because we believe internally what we put into practice externally.  At the moment we act in love and compassion it opens us up to becoming recipients of love and compassion. 

If you are struggling with peace, contentment, satisfaction, etc.  Ask yourself, am I a selfish person?  As long as you are, those struggles will only magnify.

    

 

Why We Suffer

Are you human?  If the answer is no, how in the world are you reading this?  If you answer yes, then the reality of life is that at some point you are going to hurt, suffer, weep.  And you may be doing so currently.  But why do we suffer?

Sometimes the answer we lean on is that the world is simply cruel and indifferent.  But if we believe in God, we struggle with the whole concept of suffering.  Why me?  Why this?  Why now?  Why God, why??!!

For a broader picture on suffering it is helpful to study the history of God's chosen people, the Jews.  Outside of some brief moments of peace and prosperity they have had a whole lot of suffering.  At the end of the monarchial period the entire nation of Israel is destroyed, uprooted, and marched off into captivity.  After a number of generations pass, they are finally given the freedom to return home and rebuild, but only as a Vassal state.

The book of Malachi, the last book before the New Testament, challenges me to have a whole new view on the root of my suffering and despair.  It starts off with this accusatory tone, "Don't you really love us God?!?!"  They are just completely indignant.  Why have all these bad things happened to us?  Why are we so sad and in so much pain?  Our suffering is a clear indication that you aren't keeping up your end of the bargain!! 

God responds quite simply.  He says, I love you, don't doubt it!  But before you get all self-righteous about things, lets talk about what YOU have been up to. 

Being a parent is a frustrating job in a lot of ways.  Especially when your perfect little angel begins to accuse you of being a "bully" and a "stupid unfair baby".  Which I have been hearing a lot lately.  Why do I hear these things?  Have I been a bully and an unfair stupid baby?  No, no I have not. 

My 4 year old son does not like getting in trouble.  He absolutely detests it.  Even when he admits to his bad behavior.  Like any loving older brother, he shows his love to his 2 year old sister by; Not sharing, pushing, hitting, yelling at, etc.  All of which are unacceptable behaviors.  There is this very odd logic he employs in his self-righteousness.  His sister picked up a toy that he was not using....but happened to be "his"....and he went and took it away from her.  I proceeded to request he give it back, or get in trouble.  His response?  "You are a bully, you are being unfair!!!!"  When this continued, he was sent to his room without any toys.  Which led to more accusations of my unfair meanness. 

He accepts that what he is doing is not appropriate, but then he disconnects from his behavior when he addresses my actions(his consequences).  It is as if they are two completely unrelated events.  He wants to behave however he wants to behave, and he wants me to behave however HE wants me to behave.  And when I don't, I am the bad guy.

This is the story of Israel that God gently lays out in the book of Malachi.  Of course I love you.  But look at your obscene behavior.  Over and over again you sin and break the covenant.  But in the very middle of all of this the most important point of all is made.

Malachi 2:4
⁴ And you will know that I have sent you this warning so that my covenant with Levi may continue,” says the Lord Almighty.

At the heart of God's love and Israel's consequences is this essential truth.  Consequences exist to fix the relationship!  Why have you suffered Israel, why has God allowed it and will continue to allow it?  Because His ultimate heart is to restore the intimacy between Himself and His people. 

Why do I punish my son and give him consequences?  BECAUSE I love him.  If he grows up to be a disobedient, sister hitting, rule breaking, bad attitude adult, he and I will have, at best, a strained relationship.  My love for him is the driving force for my willingness to give him a bit of suffering.  A taste of suffering(time outs, lost privileges, a spanking or two(or 100)) now is how we eliminate greater suffering later. 

So why do you suffer?

I can't speak to every nuance of every situation that you deal with, but lets walk through a basic perspective.

God loves you.  Everything that can and does happen in your life is driven by the fact that He loves you, and that His greatest desire is not for your temporary "comfort" level, but the restoration and building of intimacy between you and Him.  If we don't start here, nothing else that follows will make sense.

The primary sources of suffering in our life are generally self-caused.  Specifically, we sin.  Not only does sin carry with it natural consequences(driving drunk could kill you and others, or, get you put in jail), but it also has spiritual consequences.  The sense of peace and blessing we experience in the context of a healthy relationship with God can, and often will be, removed. 

To make sense of "spiritual" consequences lets compare it to marriage.  If you say something mean to your spouse, they probably aren't going to leave you, but if you have ever felt the cold sting of rejection and anger you know what I am talking about.  It is an uneasy place to be when you know your spouse is frustrated with you.  That is a simple way of thinking about spiritual consequences.

God loves us so much that He will let us flounder around in these consequences of our behavior.  Not because He just loves punishing us.  But because He loves US! 

If you are suffering and hurting, you have to be honest with yourself.  Are there sins and issues in your life that you aren't dealing with?  Even if you think they are private and secret.  God loves you so much that He will let you hurt until you accept that it is time to heal.

God loves you so much, His heart is not for you to suffer.  But He loves you enough to LET you suffer so that you can come to the one place where suffering can cease. 

 

 

Help by Asking for Help

Sin and pain have a way of turning us into hermits.  When something is wrong in our lives our first tendency is to hide it away.  This happens because we; 1) Hope it goes away  2) We feel embarrassed/ashamed  3) Think we are all alone.  All three responses generally occur together.  It can be so embarrassing and painful that we just want to hide away until it works itself out.  And we believe a terrible lie that this is a journey that we have to take by ourselves. 

This approach guarantees one result.....It never gets better.

And this approach is a terrible lie.

Not one of us is capable of pulling ourselves up out of our funk in a meaningful and lasting way.  We are in desperate need of people to hear us and help us.  As long as we hide our problem from those who love us, and, ourselves, it will only serve to slowly rot us away from the inside.  Like gangrene of the soul, sin and pain that are not dealt with eat away at us and cause ever increasing anguish and sin.

But, on the other hand, when we reject those three responses we have the opportunity to heal.  And we become a source of healing for others.

Matthew 9:18-22
¹⁸ While he was saying this, a synagogue leader came and knelt before him and said, “My daughter has just died. But come and put your hand on her, and she will live.” ¹⁹ Jesus got up and went with him, and so did his disciples.
²⁰ Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. ²¹ She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.”
²² Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

This father was hurting and suffering, as a leader in the Synagogue, he is probably pretty aware that Jesus wasn't the most popular person amongst the leadership.  But he didn't care what asking for help might cost him, he needed it, so he went to the one place he could get it. 

Here is where, for me the story gets interesting.  We think that this is a little narrative to show how this mans faith in Jesus would lead to his daughter getting healed(which it does).  And right in the midst of this guys story, a suffering woman sees Jesus and goes to him for help also. 

Her journey to seek healing was a bit "easier" than the synagogue leader.  She was already at rock bottom and obviously not a synagogue leader.  She didn't have to make a big scene to get Jesus' attention.  She just had to be there while Jesus was on his way to heal the mans daughter.  This mans plea for help, his transparency, his risk to expose himself, initiated the events that led this woman to her own healing.

When I was in college I was a typical 20 year old male.  I was dumb, loud, full of myself, and a real ladies man......ok, the last part wasn't true.  And, like a lot of other 20 year old guys I was struggling with issues related to sexual sin.  I sat down with the guy who led my bible study and discipled me and had a long conversation about what was going on.  He challenged me to share where I was at with the rest of my peers at our next bible study.  A group of 12-14 other 20 year old guys who looked up to me as another leader and a great example of being a super Christian.  This did not sound so comfortable to me.  How would they view me, I had presented myself as having it all together.  But now they would know I wasn't perfect. 

So, that next study, I asked if I could share something.  I proceeded to share everything I was struggling with and ask for forgiveness for not being honest about it and presenting myself as someone I wasn't.....a "got it all together" Christian.  What happened next shocked me.  Over the next 2 hours EVERY single guy in that room shared a similar story.  They had all been, like me, trying to just deal with it themselves and pretending everything was ok. 

From that time on it became one of the closest knit and honest groups I have ever been a part of.  God did great things in the lives of those guys.  A few are missionaries, a few work in other ministry roles, and all of them are walking with the Lord over a decade later.

I was so worried about me that I was missing out on a couple of awesome opportunities:

1)  I now had the support and transparency I needed to walk by faith and not in sin.  There was no more hiding and rotting away.  The actual help and encouragement I needed was now available because people actually knew what I needed!

2)  My willingness to initiate and be honest with my struggles gave each of those other guys "permission" to be honest about their own.  We had all been sitting in that room with the SAME PROBLEMS believing we must surely be the only person with a problem.  Which only made us feel worse about ourselves, which led to more "hiding".   


What are you struggling with in your life right now?  Sexual sin?  Relationship issues?  Financial distress?  Health problems?   

Stop believing you have to try to fix it yourself.  It is a lie. 

Stop believing that this is just the way it is and you might as well resign yourself to the problem.  This is an even worse lie.

The same power that raised Christ from the dead is the very power that can raise your burdened soul up from the grave it is trying to throw you in. 

We are not defined by our struggles and our problems.  We do not have to be controlled by the unhealthy drives that sometimes consume us. 

But we don't break those chains by keeping our head in the sand, or, just barreling forward on our own.

People in your life desperately need you.  Not to fix them, but for you to be honest with them about what is going on in your life.  You will be blown away by what doors are opened when we get transparent about what is going on in our lives.

Do you want to get better?  Do you want to see others in your life get better?  Then go ask for help, lay it all out there and run to the Cross.

If this is the kind of "help" you are being offered, this is one you can ignore......

  

The Cost of Healing

Matthew 8:34
³⁴ Then the whole town went out to meet Jesus. And when they saw him, they pleaded with him to leave their region.

You know what my kids love?  Band aids.  You know what my kids hate?  Taking them off. 

No matter how gentle you pull, how loose it is to start with, my son screams as if we are stabbing him....even before we remove it.  You can't keep a band aid on forever.  At some point, for the healing and fresh air, you have to remove it.  But it stings like the dickens.  I am in my 30's and still cringe at the moment right before I take one off of myself. 

You know what I love?  Not having the flu.  You know what I hate?  Shots.  Needles.  Any sort of pointy and stabby pain giving device.  My wife thinks I am ridiculous.  As a nurse she loves stabbing people with needles, and can even set herself up with a blood draw without blinking.  The pain I am afraid of is pretty much 99% in my head.  And for some reason, I would, for a moment, rather be sick then experience that pain.....that is mostly in my head.

In this passage of Matthew we see Jesus arrive in the region Gadarenes.  Upon disembarking from His boat He is greeted by violent and crazed demon possessed men.  It tells us that they are so violent that no one can even pass through this area.  So, a whole region purposely avoids even venturing near where these men are.  It is sort of like Detroit.....  No one wants to be there, and no one is willing to do anything about it. 

Jesus, being God and all, deals with the demons quite simply.  He casts them out of the men and sends them into a bunch of pigs nearby.  The pigs, now themselves possessed by demons, throw themselves to their deaths off of a cliff.

Here we have a whole region paralyzed by fear of what these violent men were doing.  Two men had shut down reasonable travel for all the inhabitants of the area.  And how did the people respond to this fantastic miracle?  They begged Jesus to leave.

The deed was done.  The pigs were dead and the men were no longer violently possessed lunatics.  Why would they want Jesus to leave now? 

They were afraid of what else He might heal.

We become comfortable in our uncomfortableness.  The cost of moving forward feels to great too do more than just sit right where we are.  These men had ruined the comfort of the region for who knows how long.  And, instead of being glad of the miracle, the people are worried that Jesus might just keep on fixing problems.

Sin has a cost.  Healing has a cost as well.  Why hadn't these people done something previously about the problem?  It was just much easier to pretend that part of town didn't exist anymore.  So, while they weren't happy about it, they became comfortable with it.  The healing Jesus offered took something away from them.  You can replace pigs though.  You can't replace a missing chunk of your town.  But they didn't care. 

The cost of healing, the pain of healing, is often a problem we just build up in our minds.  And we become so consumed by the fear of how it might feel, or what might happen, that we would rather just not get better.  The other day my son asked if he could just keep his band aid on until he was a grown up!

Don't be mistaken, healing will come with a cost.  But, it is worth it.  The pain we allow ourselves to dwell in is so much greater than the split second of pulling off the band aid.  Or getting the shot.  Or confessing our sin. 

God promises some important things to those on the fence between healing and persisting in pain: 

Matthew 11:30 "My yoke is easy and my burden is light"

Jesus tells us, come walk with me.  It might look heavy, but I am the one carrying the load.  What you are carrying now, by yourself, will grind you down into the dirt.  Do you feel like your problems are grinding you down?  Lay them off, and walk with Jesus.  The act of laying them down might cause your back to hurt...a bit...but then you are free to walk with freedom!

Hebrews 4:15  " For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin."

One of the biggest issues we have when facing our own demons is the fear of judgment.  There is no lack of love and empathy for you, no matter your struggle.  Doesn't it feel good to tell someone your problem and know that they couldn't love you anymore...STILL!!  Stop allowing the fear of reactions keep you from embracing Grace.  Unmerited and perfect Grace!

Stop being afraid of healing.  Even the "pain" of healing is so much easier than the ongoing pain of persistent hurt.

Bacon is so cute!

When the Rains Come Down, the Floods Come Up

Matthew 7:24
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who builds his house upon the rock."

The other night I was hanging out at my wives place of employment waiting for her to get off of work.  I was sitting at the bar, nursing my diet Dr Pepper, when a regular of the place sat down next to me and started to chat.  Over the course of the conversation it came up that I was a Pastor.  After apologizing for his cursing(which I don't really care about), he asked me how I am able to encourage people when the world is so messed up. 

In the parable of the wise man there is an unstated accepted reality; The rains will come.  It doesn't say, he built his house on a rock so there were no storms in his life.

CS Lewis once said that our problem is not that we don't believe that God will see us through storms, we are just worried about how much it will hurt while we go through them.  We have bought into a philosophy of life that tells us that the highest ideal in the human existence is "happiness". 

This is a terrible lie.  This is a destructive lie.  It is a goal that when we set our sights on obtaining we are guaranteed to never possess it in permanent consistency.

What is happiness anyways?  How do you define it?  And there is the problem.  How do YOU define it?  While there is nothing inherently wrong with the experience of "happiness" it is an ambiguous and subjective concept that is constantly in flux. 

When I was about 13 years old my best friend and I spent an entire night sleeping in shifts so we could complete an entire video game in one sitting.  It was awesome.  If you asked me if I thought staying up all night to play video games was something I wanted to do this weekend, I would want to vomit.  As I have changed and grown and my priorities have evolved, what made me happy when I was 13 would do the opposite for me today in my 30's. 

We change. Sometimes we change daily.  When our goals for life become "to be happy" we have set for ourselves an impossible standard that leaves us always coming up empty in the ultimate sense.  If I based my future around the fun experience of staying up all night playing video games what would my life look like today?  When happiness becomes the standard we become arrested in our development and are locked in a spiral of ever decreasing experiential happiness.

Happiness, as it is most often sought for, is ultimately a selfish pursuit.  If happiness is the goal, it is rare that others will be brought into consideration.  And even acts of perceived selflessness are rooted in feeling good about oneself, or, helping create or maintain a personal image that gives happiness.  And, when there is no longer a direct sense of happiness being experienced by the selflessness that had previously been shown, it will come to an end. 

This goal of happiness does not protect against the ravages of the storms that the world throws at us.  We will all suffer at some point, if we aren't suffering now.  The foolish man builds his life on the sifting and ever changing sands of "happiness".  When life creates change, when circumstances eliminate the source of where you sought happiness, or, if the former source of happiness is now a source of pain, you are lost.

How do we help people(and ourselves) in a world that is full of such crap?  Where is encouragement found when this world is such a mess?

Our ultimate goal needs to be Truth.  The Ultimate, capital T Truth, is found in God and God alone. 

When we become rooted no longer in self, but Truth, there develops a sense and experience of security and peace.  The self is going to betray you.  The things you seek after for visceral momentary feelings of "happiness" will turn on you.  Instead, plant yourself on the unmovable foundation that does not remove storms, but takes the rain that floods and makes it rain that grows.

What are you seeking?  Are you seeking happiness, or truth?  If you seek happiness, you will have neither.  If you seek truth, you will have both.

Storms are coming, are you really prepared?

When Life Falls Apart

Psalm 46:1-3
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging"

Everyone went to bed and I felt like I wanted to read some scripture.  I rarely do this, but I did the ole open up and read what you find technique.  And that is what I found.  It was really encouraging and I wanted to share some encouraging thoughts with those who might be struggling.  I am going to unpack it phrase by phrase for easier consumption.

A) God is our refuge

Refuge means a place to go for safety.  When this Psalm starts with this statement it is speaking to all those who have times of danger and pain in their life.  It tells us that during those times God is the place for safety from the storm

B) And Strength

The most difficult part of dealing with difficulties is how exhausting they feel.  Sometimes the problem is not nearly as big as the exhaustion.  God is a source of strength to keep going when you feel like your feet can't move forward one more step.

C) An ever-present help in trouble

Ever-present is a fantastic word.  When you want to believe the lie that you are alone, this Psalm says, "He is EVER-PRESENT". 

D)  Therefore

Whenever you read a therefore, you have to ask yourself, "What is this there...for?"

D2)  We will not fear

What are the fears that eat at you when you are down and out?  That your life is over?  That they don't love you anymore?  That it's all going to fall apart?  When we live rooted in the truth of God's ever-present nature in our afflictions, what do we have to fear?  Life might hurt, but fear is removed!

E)  Though the earth give way

When the rug is pulled out from under you

F)  and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea

Those things that you used to look up to come crashing down.  And not just down, they implode.  Disappear.  No longer in existence

G) Though its waters roar and foam

Life is tossing you all around

H)  And the mountains quake with their surging

Everything appears to be about to fall down on top of your very head


What is your hope?  Because I know that you are human, I know that life can tear you apart.  In God, and God alone, we have the promise of safety and strength. 

The author doesn't shy away from the truth about life.  That everything does, and will, fall apart.  When we stand alone, it will take us under.  When we run to God, we have nothing to fear.  Even when it is all falling down around us.  There is NOTHING so big and so bad that this promise cannot be your experience.

No matter the storm, no matter the pain,