Sin, Judgement, Grace

My five year old son loves to play a "game" with his little sister.  He will snottily ask her a question that has an obvious answer that he knows she will get incorrect.  When she inevitably fails the pop quiz he will snap "no, you're wrong!!"  Obviously we are working on correcting it.  But it is an interesting illustration of our human nature....An unhealthy part of our psyche enjoys proving people are wrong and that we are right. 

Very few things feel sweeter than a good old fashioned, "I told you so".  It isn't just enough to be right, we like to bask in the gloriousness of our rightness while rubbing other peoples faces in their wrongness.....Especially when we perceive someone's being wrong as a personal affront of some sort.  You probably don't think of yourself as being a snotty 5 year old tricking his sister, but ask yourself how you feel about people who defend a diametrically opposed political position.  WE LOVE to see them be wrong.  And if we have a good clickbait article to illustrate it we will find some way to slyly post it in the social media world so that they have to see it....

Legalistic morality is the dressed up and articulated version of the "told you so's".  Religious Laws are a tool that are used as hammer to bludgeon those who do not live up to the standards that we appeal to.  While the Law in general serves a helpful purpose in structuring and protecting culture, it does not develop people who live naturally within the framework illustrated by the Law.  It, quite frankly, does not change hearts.

Will my son stop tricking his sister with his questions because he wants to be loving and encourage her to feel good?  Or, does he stop tricking her because he doesn't want to put his nose in the corner anymore?  If the only reason we do what is right is to avoid something that is bad, are we truly doing what is right?

The Law is a trap that is used to produce guilt. 

In the Gospel of John chapter 8 a woman is brought to Jesus

“Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ⁶ They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him."  John 8:4-6

Is a law against adultery a good thing?  Sure.  But do we hear from these Teachers a broken heartedness over the damage of this sin on her family or the family of the person she sinned with?  No.....Do they seem personally broken up about having to confront such a difficult situation?  No....They were just giddy(I say that because of the preceding context that we know these men were previously brainstorming a way to get rid of Jesus) at this golden opportunity to trap Jesus.

The Law was not being used for the woman, it was being used for their selfishness.  It wasn't an opportunity to correct a harmful behavior, but a chance to prove that THEY are the righteous ones. 

Those who are most comfortable with appealing to the rules are often those who do so to assert their specialness because of how they perceive that they themselves measure up in comparison. 

Jesus makes an appeal that cuts to the heart of our "gotcha" attitudes.  

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” -John 8:7

Those who want to harness the hammer of the law need to recognize that it will be equally upon them.  The Law does not give freedom to anyone.  It enslaves everyone.  Jesus is making very clear to us that the their are no degrees of condemnation that the Law brings with it.  

⁹ At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰ Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
¹¹ “No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” - John 8:9-11

The Law exists.  It is true.  But it does not change us.  Grace and love are the tools that change our hearts.  When Jesus came He fulfilled the demands of the Law and offered Grace to all who accept it.  When we don't accept it, we make a claim that we would rather live with the Law.   When someone says that they think they are going to heaven because they are a good person they are appealing to the prison of the Law as their hope.  They are hoping that they can do enough good to avoid punishment.  

The irony is that one of the oft used criticisms of Christianity is that Christian's use the threat of hell to get people to behave.  Yet by divorcing ourselves from the Grace of Christ the only reason we have to behave is to avoid punishment.  Either in this life or the next.  Why should the atheist "act" good?  Because there are "consequences".  Why should the generic spiritual person "act" good?  To avoid consequences.  Only in Christ are we told we can be fully loved even when we break the "Law".  

Let me say here for the record...if anyone tells you that you should be a Christian so you don't go to hell, they are not telling you about Christianity.  They are just telling you the age old performance based story of the Law dressed up with some "Christ-yness".

     

Having the Law doesn't change the Heart

Who do you love like?

We should treat sin like a disease.

Like its cancer.

Yah, you heard me right.  Sin should be treated like cancer.  You know, destructive, murdering, disgusting cancer.

And we should treat people who sin like they have cancer.

We should cry with them when they are hurting.

We should hold them when they are sad.

We should be quick to offer help when they ask for it.  But don't force them to take our help, because having cancer is exhausting and painful and sometimes they need some space.

We should pray for them every day.

Our hearts should break for the pain they are going through.

We should weep with them when the medicine sometimes feels worse then the disease.

And we should also remember that cancer isn't contagious. You can't get it by spending time with them and holding their hand, or, hugging them.

 There are two distinctly diametrically opposed ways of loving people.  We can love them in the law.  Or, we can love them in Grace.

Loving people in the law looks like this:
1)  High expectations of what WE think they should be doing FOR us
2) Consequences(withholding our love, anger, punishment, bitterness) when they fail to meet our expectations.
3) Always on the look out for "mistakes"
4) Treating them differently depending on the day and/or our mood
5) What have you done for me lately attitude


Loving people in Grace looks like this:
1) High belief in who they are regardless of what they do for us
2) Actions of love(service, sacrifice, patience, caring) even when they aren't at their "best"
3) Always on the look out for reasons to encourage and praise
4) Consistent treatment and attitude towards them that has nothing to do with our mood or the day
5) What have I done for YOU lately attitude

People are treated like objects all the time.  Even when we are generally "nice" enough people, we have a tendency to often look through a lens that defines that persons value by the value we perceive they are giving us.  When that value diminishes(in our eyes) we replace them with something "better". 

We have created a list of "do's and dont's" in our interpersonal relationships by which we base our love actions towards that person.  When they hurt us, make us angry, act incorrectly...we justify our poor treatment of them because they are getting what they deserve.  They didn't live up to the "law", and now its time to pay the piper. 

What is even more terrible about this approach to love, is that we rarely ever have enough personal introspection to fairly evaluate how little we live up to the standards we apply to other people.  And, we become self-righteous because of it.  We say, "look at all that I have done to deserve you acting in a way that I want, and you aren't doing it, you are a bad person!!"  And this self-righteous attitude becomes the basis for us playing the martyr.  "Oh, look at poor little me, I am such a good son/friend/employee/spouse, and they aren't treating me like it, I deserve better!!"

How do you approach people in your life who aren't living up to expectations?  Who are in sin?  Sin in general, sin against others, sin against YOU?  Is it time to make them pay for their bad behavior?

The Pharisees were great at the law.  And they were great at viewing everyone through that lens.  They were the first to judge other people, to call for punishment, to ostracize people for not being the "right kind" of person. 

So Jesus calls them out...a lot... And He shows us a much different approach to loving others.  Grace.  Given not because of the goodness of the person receiving, but because of HIS goodness.  

Don't get me wrong.  He didn't pretend that sin didn't exist.  But he didn't treat people like they were sinners.  He treated them like someone who was hurting and needed to be loved.  Even when they weren't acting very loveable.  Why did the sick, the sinners, the hurting, come in droves to be near Jesus?  Because He was going to treat them as if they were His very own precious children.  They had lived their whole lives in the performance based approach to loving in the law.  Being told you aren't good enough over and over and over again was probably pretty exhausting.   

So what does this mean for us?

We have to be brutally honest with ourselves.  How are we loving the people in your life?  In the law?  Or, in Grace? 

A simple approach to being aware of this, and to begin to shape our hearts and actions to reflect this:

Write down the ways in which you show love towards people through words and actions.  For instance;  When I love someone, I smile at them.  When I love someone, I offer to help them.  When I love someone, I am really interested in what they have to say.  When I love someone, I put their wants/needs ahead of mine.

Perhaps you can write it all out on a notecard you keep on you at all times.  Especially if you are suspicious that you  have been a tad bit too legalistic.  And as you interact with this person, review your words and responses about what you recognize as being true signs of love.  Then, do those things instead of what you might actually feel like doing.  No matter what that person has or hasn't done that day/week/month/year.

Where this gets hard is when that person hasn't acted the best.  When they have sinned and hurt you.  But that is what Christ centered Grace is all about.  While we were still SINNERS He laid His life down for us.  So, die to self and love without condition!

Sin is like cancer.  And we need to treat sinners like cancer patients.  We don't sit around criticizing them all day long for having cancer.  We love them right where they are at.  One of the interesting things about cancer treatment and recovery is that a patients "support" network(friends and family) is so essential to success rate.  You can give all the best treatment in the world, but if that person feels alone and abandoned their chances at healing are greatly diminished.

And when you love someone who has cancer, you don't do it ONLY if they will just get well.  You love them because YOU LOVE THEM.  Its a great benefit and blessing that your love can help.

When someone in your life is sinning, not living up to expectations, hurting you, you need to stop loving them ONLY if they will get "better".  Love them because YOU LOVE THEM.  They can be given all the "help" in the world to "get better" but if they feel alone and abandoned, their chances of healing are greatly diminished.  It won't make them better, but you CAN make it worse.

Love because you have been loved.  Die to self every day and love because God is good, not because they are.

This is a true story about my life, and a good illustration of my point.....