Exhausted by Holiness, or, Why Can't I Do Enough

Actual footage of me trying to save myself

Have you ever felt your value is measured in what you do, or, what you can produce?  That every relationship you have is in some way transactional?  If you do "this", then you will be valued, if you can behave just a little bit better than you will receive the love/care/respect/etc that you desperately are desiring?  

To add to that, there is also the powerful sense that we are in a "what have you done for me lately" world.  Maybe I was valued yesterday because I did great that day, but today, I didn't do so hot, so I am no longer someone worthy.  

Exhausting.

Human history is shaped by this constant grasping after feeling "ok" knowing that at any moment we will still mess up, fall short, and be cast out.  Even when you observe religion you see a list of tasks that must be perfectly completed or you will be out! 

And this religious impulse through history is even put into practice in all our new modes of "religion" today.  Think about all the social movements that exist.  Whether BLM, Me Too, Political parties, Eco Justice, etc.  It doesn't take long for the group that you desperately tried to be accepted by to turn on you because all your previous good work is cast aside when you mess up on one area.  

Your best is never going to be good enough.  

Our spiritual struggle is the deeply internal acknowledgement that something is wrong.  Wrong with the world around us, wrong in our relationships, wrong in ourselves.  Even at our best, there are the hidden parts of ourselves(and sometimes not so hidden) that shout out, "This is not ok, this is not right, there is something wrong".  

Most of the time we are quite capable of stringing together enough obvious "good" in our lives that we can hold at bay the thoughts of inadequacy.  In the West, we are almost experts at this.  We can fill our lives with so much entertainment and comfort that we can stave off these feelings almost indefinitely.  But it always comes due at some point.  

It shouldn't come as a surprise that in an era of the greatest prosperity and material comfort and "ethical" living we have an ever increasing, at record levels, mental health issues of depression, anxiety and hopelessness.  

How is this possible?  The external world is improving, yet our internal lives are falling apart.  

It IS possible because we are a people desperate for absolution.  And all our comforts and self-pleasing behaviors offer no such thing as forgiveness and absolution. We intrinsically see that our internal and external realities are at war with the state and condition with reality.  The Apostle Paul points out in Romans chapter 2 that even those who claim there is not God, fall short of their own standards.  Entertainment and distraction just shoves the problems down deeper where they fester and rot. 

And when we fall short of what we hope for and there is no hope for absolution, we are left anxious and depressed.  

We pursue an exhausting form of "holiness".  The rules are constantly changing, the judges are arbitrary and often capricious in their verdicts. 

But why is this so?  

In God's Word we see where it started, but are also pointed to where it is going.

Genesis lays out our ultimate issue that started in the garden.  Adam and Eve did not just want to disobey God, they wanted to be the ones calling the shots.(to be God ourselves free of consequence-Gen 3:4-5).  At that moment in history the heart of all of our issues that we struggle with today are painted in stark fashion.

We are made for God.

We are made with a purpose.

We rebel and break the vertical relationship with our creator and it ricochets to destroy our horizontal relationships with each other and the rest of creation.(Genesis 3:12-19)

And we are incapable of truly fixing it all.  

So we get on the hamster wheel and think if we can just run a bit farther, a bit faster, a bit more passionately, then, then we can see and feel our desperately desired absolution.  And we are tired as we see as much as we have worked, we are still in the same spot.

But God.

But God, loves us.  He created us for Himself, with a purpose, to have a relationship with Him. 

When Jesus, God the Son, saw His people tired, beat up, worn down, he looked at them with compassion.(Matthew 9:36)

When Jesus went to the Cross his compassion was an active work of healing and restoring as he declared "It is Finished"(John 19:30)

Not, lets get started, here is all the work to do.  It. Is. Finished.  

But Adam(this is you talking here)..But Adam, if it is finished, what are we supposed to be doing to make sure we are loved by God???  Are you saying we can do whatever we want??????

So let me double down with what Paul says in Galatians 3

You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. 2 I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard? 3 Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh? 4 Have you experienced so much in vain—if it really was in vain? 5 So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard? 6 So also Abraham “believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”

What Paul is dealing with is that after starting off their relationship with God based on the love of Christ and His finished work, they are now trying to reverse engineer their salvation and absolution of sins through all the works they can do to look good enough.

Stop it.

Jesus said IT IS FINISHED.  He meant it.

So what DO we do about sins in our lives and in the lives of the people we love.

This is how John puts it in 1 John 3

2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3 All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.

What makes us like Christ according to John?  What purifies us?  

John doesn't say, "you will be like Christ and purified when you start doing the right stuff".  He says when you place your hope in Christ and look upon Him and truly see and know him THAT will be what changes us.

So here is the false bill of goods we are often sold that is directly contrasted from what God's Word actually says.

FALSE NARRATIVE:

1- There is a problem in you and the world

2- You better do do do do to fix it or carry around guilt

3-  If you do enough good stuff you MIGHT be ok, hopefully

4- And if you want to be right with God in all of this don't forget all of those rules too

GOD'S TRUTH

1- There is a problem in you and the world

2- You can't do better by doing more, God will take away your guilt and shame

3- When you experience that and look to Him in hope you WILL be ok

4- Because you are right with God already, your natural behavior changes because of God in you as your place your hope in Him as you look upon Him in truth

Stop trying to make yourself ok.  Lay down your burdens and look on a savior who perfectly did for you what you could never truly accomplish.  Give up the exhausting lie that you can absolve yourself and achieve holiness.  You will never be holy.  But Christ is.  And he calls you to enjoy Him forever.  

Laundry and Marathons

This would be a great holiday

There are some things in life that I hope to only do one time. 

Get tonsils removed, go to high school, have braces, and.... do laundry. 

When I was in college and the task of keeping my clothes decently wearable fell upon me I would stretch out time between cleaning as long as possible.  Practicing the old "sniff" test to verify that I indeed had a few more days to go.  And honestly it wasn't even that hard to do then.  I barely cared if it was wrinkled and we had a washer and dryer in the house I shared with my friends.  After the dryer would ding I could just throw it in a basket and grab clothes straight from there without even needing to put them away in "drawers".

Getting married and then having kids really changes a mans perspective on what constitutes "clean" clothes.  It's one thing to look like a slob as a 19 year old college student, but you can't send your children off to school with stains on their shirts.  And your wife won't go out with you in an embarassingly wrinkly smelly ensemble. 

And here is the terrible thing about laundry with a family.  It is NEVER FINISHED!!!!

As fast as I get it done there is still a pile of it ready to be started.  The washer and dryer could be on literally 24 hours a day and I don't think that it would be overkill. 

Whether it is an overwhelming task, or a simple part of the day, has been directly the result of my chosen consistency with it.  The amount of work laundry for 6 people takes is always going to be exactly what it is.  The way it impacts and controls me has nothing to do with the amount of it, but my approach.

If every day I take steps to keep it moving, it almost becomes a task that takes no thinking or effort.  There is no "all day" laundry day that everything else has to be put on hold to deal with.  When I put it off until "I have the time", the time that it piles up to needing to confiscate from my life is overwhelming. 

Laundry is not a sprint.  It is a marathon.  It requires a constant moving forward.  Not in a furious cacophony of limbs swinging wildly, but a deliberate daily discipline of one step in front of the other knowing that it will not be a task that is over anytime soon. 

All of our life.  Or, at least the things that matter.  Are like that.  We are so good at putting off that which we should be doing.  To save it for "some day".  When there is "enough time".  When that other stuff is "taken care of".  And drip by steady and reliable drip it piles up the little issues until we are overwhelmed and consumed by a mountain.

The Apostle Paul gets right to the root of our problem as he addresses our spiritual malaise,

24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27 No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.- 1 Cor 9:24-27

We run our lives so aimlessly so often.  Then we are surprised when our relationship with God feels so distant and bleh.  All week long we put off who God is calling us to be, to do those simple steps with the hopes that we can save it all up for a marathon spiritual connection on Sunday mornings. 

And we get farther and farther behind. 

Are you living your life like you are after a prize.  No, there is no trophy for a caught up laundry room.  But a person who disciplines themselves to run hard after God every single day will not regret it.  But we will always regret letting it slip and fall farther and farther behind.

This plays into all areas of our life.  Think about the many important things that God has given you responsibility for.  How many of them have you avoided the daily work of working towards the goal that is set before you.  Instead we avoid and deflect always telling ourselves that later we can do that work when we are really ready for it.  And far too often there is never a later. 

Stop running FROM what God has for you and start running TOWARDS God.  One day your race will come to an end.  Don't be found never having even started. 

Is Mark Driscoll Bigger than the Cross?(aka, what Church should I go to)

What makes a good church?  Why should you go to "this" church instead of "that" church? 

The Gospel.

Let me be more clear.

The message that we are sinners.  Lost and dead in our sin.  Christ came and died in our place to pay the penalty for our sins.  Through his FINISHED work on the cross we can have life and this is the power of God.  And the cross PREACHED is alone the power that a church has to share.  (I Corinthians 1:18)

Everything flows from that.

Paul says in Galatians 1:8 that if anyone is preaching something OTHER than the Gospel of Christ crucified they are under a curse. 

So what about churches and people teaching things that you disagree with regarding secondary issues?  In Philippians 1 Paul shares about two types of people; 1) Those who preach Christ humbly, and, 2) Those who preach Christ for personal gain.  And how does he respond to these "false" teachers?  He rejoices that the Gospel is preached. 

So why doesn't he get more tough on these self-centered teachers?  I believe it is because of what he says in 1 Corinthians;  Only the cross has power.  Either we, in our clever words and window dressings, have the ability to change lives, or, the redemptive finished work of Christ on the cross changes lives. 

Let me illustrate this in a silly way.....

If I have a goal to teach someone how to read there are a number of different ways I can present it.  Some we could argue are better than others.  Some techniques might even be fairly absurd.  But even if I teach my son that the way to read is to hold a book in one hand while tugging on his ear with the other, does he learn how to read?  Yes.  We can all agree that my added ear tugging was unnecessary and ultimately unhelpful, but, if he does learn to read, he will probably realize that the ear tugging is superfluous to the process and eliminate it on his own.  Yet the essential and life changing goal has been achieved.  He can now read.  And he will be able to read for the rest of his life.

If Christ is preached, and the cross is visible, most, if not all, of the superfluous ridiculousness that people may add will eventually take a back seat.  Because it is not our power that changes lives, but the power of God. 

Does this mean we ignore absurdity?  No.  But we too often focus on the absurdity and not the power.  The way we criticize other churches is often done in such a way that we are subtly claiming that because they have added some "ear tugging" they aren't really alive in Christ.  If the central message of a church is Christ Crucified, than let us rejoice in the Gospel.  Which isn't the same as saying that we should all go to that church and participate in "ear tugging". 

In the course of the Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill saga(look it up yourself) a common refrain I hear is how "this" is the sort of thing that causes people to leave Christ.  Let me say that again.  When my son discovers that my "ear tugging" technique was stupid he will never read again........

What power do we preach?  Our own?  Or the Cross?  If we preach the Cross, regardless of the reasons or the technique, than our own failures and mistakes have no effect on the power of God.  Unless you believe that a single man, or church, can supersede the power of Christ. 

Say whatever you want about Driscoll and his innumerable problems, but he preached the Cross.  There are literally thousands of stories of people who came to the cross through the message of the Gospel that was preached.  There surely was a progressive growth of "ear tugging" secondary doctrines that began to bleed into the life of Mars Hill, but the cross was always preached.  And like Paul, I rejoice for the lives that were saved because of CHRIST! 

And we should also weep for the people who were hurt by the secondary issues.  This is a fine line that we must struggle to maintain.  But we can not lose perspective that while we have a responsibility to address sinful behavior(ala Paul vs Peter), we cannot begin a process of claiming that the power of salvation comes from any one teacher's perfect motivation and technique. 

When we look for a church to go to we must begin and end with the question, is the Cross preached?  If it is, than weigh carefully the secondary issues.  If it isn't, it is not a church.  Even if it gets secondary issues right.   

Reminder...preaching the Gospel does not give you a pass for sin....

The Visible Christian Life

What does it look like to be a Christian?  Beyond the simple answers, like...fruits of the spirit....believing in Jesus.....repentance....etc?  But what are some of the markers of the natural outflow of a Christian's life that go beyond the internal and "personal"?

Contemporary Christian practice has become seemingly synonymous with individualism.  Which basically becomes, "I prayed a prayer this one time, I believe in Jesus...#winning"(I love dated references....)  And from that moment on this person is self-confident enough to then proceed to live exactly how they want.....on their own.  

But is this idea of "Me and JC are good, so that's all I need" really accurate? 

⁵ This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you--Titus 1:5

Paul is writing a follow up letter to his co-laborer Titus about what to do post-evangelization in Crete.  Paul's ministry was to go all over the Roman world and proclaim the Gospel.  Many people would respond in faith to this message and at that moment become "Christians". 

In today's culture we do the Gospel proclamation part, and then.........um.......not much.  What does Paul instruct Titus to do?  To put "Order" to this new group of Christians.  What does order imply?  Clearly defined structures and systems.  It does not imply a loosey-goosey every man for himself post-conversion experience.  The assumptive position that Paul takes here(and through out the NT) is that Christian's would associate together in some manner of "ordered" community.

To be clear, he does not say, "Make sure these folks have a "church" so that they can finally REALLY become Christian".  Instead, he writes with the expectation that becoming a Christian naturally leads itself to deliberate(orderly) community with defined structure and consistent and accountable fellowship. 

To ignore this plain faced obviousness that is found throughout the New Testament is to deny the validity of the New Testament as an accurate revelation of God and His call to His people. 

Perhaps that last sentence offended you.  Good!!  Let me explain it slowly.....Either the Bible is reliable as a full testimony of God and the Gospel or it is not.  If it is NOT reliable, then, by all means, interpret it anyway that you choose to do so.  If it IS, then what it says to us is important! 

Find anywhere in the New Testament where the assumption for the Christian life is NOT shaped by an orderly community with established leadership(Elders) and I will concede my point......

Found it yet.....no?????  Ok, lets proceed....

The second part of this passage from Titus describes the responsibility of Elders;  1)  To be above reproach(to put it in short form), and, 2) To teach and defend the Gospel message from error and falsehood.  3)  Bring discipline to those who are teaching falsehood.  And this discipline has two purposes; 1- To protect people from untruth, and, 2- To bring the false teachers to repentance!

So, back to us and our Christian lives.......

A Christian's life is outwardly displayed by first belief and repentance.  Belief in Jesus and repentance from sin.  Where things like the fruit of the spirit can be great measurable markers of this.

The second aspect of outwardly displaying the internal reality of a Christian is participation within an "ordered" community.

Does perfectly exhibiting these two aspects MAKE someone a Christian.  Nope.  But will a Christian display these behaviors in their life.  Yep. 

This is going too far the other way......

The Church as a Marriage

After my post about "What Good is a Church" went viral yesterday(I have a very loose understanding of the definition of viral) I received a few "criticisms".  So I wanted to illuminate a little more on my thoughts about being a part of a church.

The most important point in all of this that I cannot repeat enough is that there is ZERO precedence in scripture for Christian's operating outside of the local church.  If someone could point out to me where in the city of Corinth there was the local church AND a couple of friends hanging out at the local coffee shop(or wherever well bred hipsters liked to frequent) who never went to spend time within the local church and that this was presented as equally valid I would concede my point entirely.

Can't find it....?

Because it's not there.  I have yet to come across a Biblical basis for avoiding participation in a local church.  I hear lots of personal anecdotes that sound like self-serving justifications, but never the Biblical basis for it!

There is no point where the writers of the New Testament did not assume that the natural practice of believers would not include participation in the church.  Paul even goes as far as to give CORPORATE instructions to how they should be conducting themselves when they met together.  As Paul established churches during his missionary journeys he also appointed LEADERS(elders) of those churches who were instructed with teaching and protecting the Gospel message.

Again, everything in the New Testament points to active participation within the local church. 

Does this mean that every local church lives up to its responsibilities?  Of course not.  But we don't quit on it all together when we encounter serious issues.  For example, you are attending a church and discover that they are teaching Jesus Christ is not the only way to heaven(aka universalism).  You would be well advised to exit quickly.  Or another church is abusing its members in some capacity.  Authoritarian control, shaming, power abuses, etc.  Get out of there as well. 

Sometimes, depending on where you live, finding a solid(but not perfect) Bible teaching church can be a challenge.  But don't give up just because the first one you visited had significant problems.

While no analogies are perfect, I think this one can help...comparing marriage to the Church.

Sometimes there are abusive and destructive marriages.  People should be protected from these situations.  While we understand someone who has come out of that situation might be wary about dating again, but wouldn't we be saddened if they have decided to give up on finding love at all because of the terrible situation from their past.  

To paraphrase a bit of CS Lewis, the whole reason you are able to recognize something as functioning incorrectly is that you have an indwelt sense of what is right.  If you recognize a problem at a past church, it doesn't mean that there is no good church, it means that you have solidified the truth that there is an appropriate way that a church SHOULD be functioning. 

Many wonderful Christians have walked away from participating in church life and, as of now, don't feel any "ill effects" from it.  Sometimes this is used as proof that the church was unnecessary for them(and perhaps for anyone..??)

I have had a number good friends that due to life circumstances(job and school) have had to live for long periods of time apart from their spouse.  While they certainly came through the other side with their marriage intact, how odd would it be for them to say, "I really liked not having to deal with you every day, can we keep living in different cities....?"  When you marry someone you are committing to sharing your life with that person.  Not just the convenient and fun stuff, but wading through the junk as well. 

When I hear someone tell me that they don't have to go to church to be a Christian I have a few thoughts.  First, I agree!!  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian.  Jesus's death and resurrection does!  But then I think about marriage.  Do you have to actually share your life with someone(emotionally and physically) to be married?  Of course not.  But you are kinda missing the point of marriage if you refuse to share your life with that other imperfectly perfect person. 

The problem is we like the "idea" of things, but not the things themselves.  The idealized picture I have of marriage is beautiful and inspiring.  The reality is often quite different.  The idealized picture we have of the Church is also beautiful and inspiring.  And reality is quite different there as well. 

To add one more part to this thinking.  What if your husband or wife said, "Honey I love you sooo much, but living with you makes it really hard to keep loving you so much.  I think we would be much better off if we spent as little time(if any) together so that I can keep thinking my lofty thoughts about the beauty of marriage". 

We love marriage, we fight against married life.

We love Jesus, but we fight against Christian living. 

Can you be a Christian who never goes to church?  Sure.  Can you be married and never spend time with your spouse?  Sure.  But why in the world would you accept that for yourself?

When God's Will Is Difficult

One of our cultures greatest weaknesses is our unwillingness to deal with anything that makes us uncomfortable.  We seek out friendships, voices, activities that reinforce what we already want to believe and do.  Challenges are just too.....challenging.  A common refrain is that we want people to just accept us just as we are.  Which is itself a philosophy built upon the premise that the way we currently are is perfectly fine and acceptable.  Of course there are other people who should change, but not us, we are just fine.

This has bled deeply into the American Christian identity.  We proof text scripture to affirm ourselves.  Jesus is bent and twisted to conform to fitting into a that "celebrates" whatever it is we already have decided in our hearts to do.  Or, we just ignore Him all together and pursue whatever it is we want. 

The will of God is a difficult thing to grasp and pursue.  Often, we falsely assume the will of God is that we are to be "happy".  And if things fall outside of that spectrum we claim to be following the will of God by jettisoning it.  As a 30 something year old Pastor I can tell you of multiple stories of people, who claim to be Christian, who are leaving/left their spouse because they weren't "happy".  And since God clearly WANTS them to be happy, it is God's will that they abandon their vows.....

When did God's will become a tool to achieve personal happiness???

There is something very interesting when you study the immediate effects of following God's will in Scripture; It is really difficult and often unenjoyable.  Perhaps you can set me straight, but I cannot think of an event in the Bible where following the Will of God led to some sort of immediate personal satisfaction and "happiness".  Paul followed God's will to great personal trials.  Abraham gave up comfort to follow after God to a place he knew nothing about.  Jesus submitted to the Father's will, even to the death.

"Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done" 
            - Matthew 26:42

Even Jesus, when seeing what the immediate experience of following God's will was, prayed for another path. 

Following God's will is never easy.

But it is always worth it.  It is always the best.

Catch this important line in this passage, "if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it..."  God's will was deeply rooted in dealing with a deep problem.  Sin.  Sin had to be dealt with.  It had to be defeated.  And the cup of God's wrath that Jesus is referencing had to be drunk.  Either by Jesus, or, by us. 

And that is the beautiful thing about God's will for us.  What He calls us to isn't pointless and without immeasurable value.  It is the exact perfect and right answer to our problem.  If Jesus had not submitted to God's will, as difficult as it was to follow, the beauty of salvation would not be ours.  Sin would not be defeated, death would have the final triumph. 

When you think about God's will in your life, are you willing to drink whatever it is that He has for you?  Or do you only want that which gives you what you want?  God's will is what will lead us to the beauty that our hearts ache for.  But it is often a path that is much more difficult than what selfishness and shortsightedness desires. 

Are you looking for just right now, or, for always?