Exhausted by Holiness, or, Why Can't I Do Enough

Actual footage of me trying to save myself

Have you ever felt your value is measured in what you do, or, what you can produce?  That every relationship you have is in some way transactional?  If you do "this", then you will be valued, if you can behave just a little bit better than you will receive the love/care/respect/etc that you desperately are desiring?  

To add to that, there is also the powerful sense that we are in a "what have you done for me lately" world.  Maybe I was valued yesterday because I did great that day, but today, I didn't do so hot, so I am no longer someone worthy.  

Exhausting.

Human history is shaped by this constant grasping after feeling "ok" knowing that at any moment we will still mess up, fall short, and be cast out.  Even when you observe religion you see a list of tasks that must be perfectly completed or you will be out! 

And this religious impulse through history is even put into practice in all our new modes of "religion" today.  Think about all the social movements that exist.  Whether BLM, Me Too, Political parties, Eco Justice, etc.  It doesn't take long for the group that you desperately tried to be accepted by to turn on you because all your previous good work is cast aside when you mess up on one area.  

Your best is never going to be good enough.  

Our spiritual struggle is the deeply internal acknowledgement that something is wrong.  Wrong with the world around us, wrong in our relationships, wrong in ourselves.  Even at our best, there are the hidden parts of ourselves(and sometimes not so hidden) that shout out, "This is not ok, this is not right, there is something wrong".  

Most of the time we are quite capable of stringing together enough obvious "good" in our lives that we can hold at bay the thoughts of inadequacy.  In the West, we are almost experts at this.  We can fill our lives with so much entertainment and comfort that we can stave off these feelings almost indefinitely.  But it always comes due at some point.  

It shouldn't come as a surprise that in an era of the greatest prosperity and material comfort and "ethical" living we have an ever increasing, at record levels, mental health issues of depression, anxiety and hopelessness.  

How is this possible?  The external world is improving, yet our internal lives are falling apart.  

It IS possible because we are a people desperate for absolution.  And all our comforts and self-pleasing behaviors offer no such thing as forgiveness and absolution. We intrinsically see that our internal and external realities are at war with the state and condition with reality.  The Apostle Paul points out in Romans chapter 2 that even those who claim there is not God, fall short of their own standards.  Entertainment and distraction just shoves the problems down deeper where they fester and rot. 

And when we fall short of what we hope for and there is no hope for absolution, we are left anxious and depressed.  

We pursue an exhausting form of "holiness".  The rules are constantly changing, the judges are arbitrary and often capricious in their verdicts. 

But why is this so?  

In God's Word we see where it started, but are also pointed to where it is going.

Genesis lays out our ultimate issue that started in the garden.  Adam and Eve did not just want to disobey God, they wanted to be the ones calling the shots.(to be God ourselves free of consequence-Gen 3:4-5).  At that moment in history the heart of all of our issues that we struggle with today are painted in stark fashion.

We are made for God.

We are made with a purpose.

We rebel and break the vertical relationship with our creator and it ricochets to destroy our horizontal relationships with each other and the rest of creation.(Genesis 3:12-19)

And we are incapable of truly fixing it all.  

So we get on the hamster wheel and think if we can just run a bit farther, a bit faster, a bit more passionately, then, then we can see and feel our desperately desired absolution.  And we are tired as we see as much as we have worked, we are still in the same spot.

But God.

But God, loves us.  He created us for Himself, with a purpose, to have a relationship with Him. 

When Jesus, God the Son, saw His people tired, beat up, worn down, he looked at them with compassion.(Matthew 9:36)

When Jesus went to the Cross his compassion was an active work of healing and restoring as he declared "It is Finished"(John 19:30)

Not, lets get started, here is all the work to do.  It. Is. Finished.  

But Adam(this is you talking here)..But Adam, if it is finished, what are we supposed to be doing to make sure we are loved by God???  Are you saying we can do whatever we want??????

So let me double down with what Paul says in Galatians 3

You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. 2 I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard? 3 Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh? 4 Have you experienced so much in vain—if it really was in vain? 5 So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard? 6 So also Abraham “believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”

What Paul is dealing with is that after starting off their relationship with God based on the love of Christ and His finished work, they are now trying to reverse engineer their salvation and absolution of sins through all the works they can do to look good enough.

Stop it.

Jesus said IT IS FINISHED.  He meant it.

So what DO we do about sins in our lives and in the lives of the people we love.

This is how John puts it in 1 John 3

2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 3 All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.

What makes us like Christ according to John?  What purifies us?  

John doesn't say, "you will be like Christ and purified when you start doing the right stuff".  He says when you place your hope in Christ and look upon Him and truly see and know him THAT will be what changes us.

So here is the false bill of goods we are often sold that is directly contrasted from what God's Word actually says.

FALSE NARRATIVE:

1- There is a problem in you and the world

2- You better do do do do to fix it or carry around guilt

3-  If you do enough good stuff you MIGHT be ok, hopefully

4- And if you want to be right with God in all of this don't forget all of those rules too

GOD'S TRUTH

1- There is a problem in you and the world

2- You can't do better by doing more, God will take away your guilt and shame

3- When you experience that and look to Him in hope you WILL be ok

4- Because you are right with God already, your natural behavior changes because of God in you as your place your hope in Him as you look upon Him in truth

Stop trying to make yourself ok.  Lay down your burdens and look on a savior who perfectly did for you what you could never truly accomplish.  Give up the exhausting lie that you can absolve yourself and achieve holiness.  You will never be holy.  But Christ is.  And he calls you to enjoy Him forever.  

American Exceptionalism and Unexceptional Candidates

Americans love winning.  Second place is first place loser!  Even the way we look at the legacies of people is directly related to what and how they won.  If you are an athlete who retires without a championship we put you on a special list of "Great, but not All Time".  You just need to win!  We don't even care if the victory comes at the end of your career when you aren't even a significant factor(cough cough Peyton Manning).  All that matters is that you are a winner.

A big argument that we keep hearing during the primaries is that we have to support a candidate who will actually win.  And we want to be winners, right?  The opposition is so wrong that just being able to say that they "lost" is worth whatever compromise of conviction we have to make in order to be winners ourselves.  This leads us to a terribly frustrating reality;  We might choose the winning candidate, but we all lose.

When elections become gambling at the track, simply putting our money on the horse we think will win, instead of selecting the individual who deserves our support due to principles, convictions and history, we don't get closer to good leadership, we keep running farther away.  Everytime we have a high quality candidate who can't get off the starting blocks because we are more concerned with winning we move the system farther from where we should be.


"Of two evils, choose neither.  Christians must turn from the endless cycle of voting for the lesser of evils and expecting an unrighteous act to produce a righteous result.  From a communist to a cultist, choosing the lesser of evils is still evil, and never should we do evil so good may come" -Charles Spurgeon


I am no historian, but it seems strange that at some point we stopped voting for what we are convicted by, but by some sort of pragmatic winner takes all mentality.  Politicians know they can lie to us because we will still vote for them....because they will win!!!!!

What about us Christians, how should we approach all of this?  We know that compromise with evil is not God honoring.  Can God use evil rulers for His purposes??  Of course.  Do we deliberately allign ourselves with evil just because it might be useful in some way??  Of course not!!


8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. -Philippians 4:8


Can you look at your chosen candidate through the lens of Philippians 4:8 and say, "Now this person fits into this paradigm"?  If not, move on.

But but but Adam(you say...).  The only people who can fit this passage will never win.  And if we don't stop "X" our country will be lost.  What about the children?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So, dear friend, are you saying that the only way you and I can save our children from Godlessnes and national destruction FOR the sake of God Himself is to collaborate with sinfulness????   What God are you reading about in the Bible....???

Isaiah 14:27 tells us that NOTHING God has planned will be thwarted.   So what if America burns to the ground and the crosses of the churches are pulled down?  Are the purposes and glory of God suddenly extinguished??  God doesn't need us to run around playing politics to "save" the nation through immoral compromise so that maybe, just maybe, one day, at some point in the future, we can make sure that Christian values win the day.

When the Gospel calls us Jesus doesn't say, "Come join the winning team, next election cycle Pilate is totally out!!".  The Gospel is to.... DIE to  yourself, to give up YOUR HONOR, to forgive your ENEMIES and proclaim that the Kingdom that will never End is marching forward and is not waiting on us getting our local politics straightened out.

If Trump wins the election....Jesus still wins.

If Hillary wins the election.....Jesus still wins.

If Chitalu wins the election.....Jesus still wins


The Gospel doesn't invite us to make sure we choose the most likely wordly winner, but to go and die with the King.  Do what is right, and trust that God is still God.

Do Politics Trump the Gospel?

Being an American is pretty great.  Beyond even language barriers I can't think of another country I would want to call my home.  And with that I have to say I like things "mostly" the way they are and have some strong opinions on ways we can improve things.

By improve things I mainly mean, "Make my life continually more and more comfortable".

One of the best parts about being a parent is that I get the daily conviction of my own sinful inclinations on full display visibly manifested in the lives of my kids.  I don't mean they are these terrible kids, but that the absurdity of children and their self-centered thought processess point to the  reality of my more subtle, yet still absurd, self-centeredness.

This morning.....wayyyyy toooo early.....my daughter woke me up and asked if she could watch something.  Like a loving father I replied, "Sure hunny, go downstairs and I will be right there......"

Cut to 20 minutes later as I continued to sleep.  "DADDDDDDYYYYYYY why did you forget me?!?!?"

I begrudgingly got up out of bed, annoyed that she was up so early and acting so darn selfishly.  She was inconveniencing me for something stupid.  Life, and especially my kids, needs to be thinking about what I want.

Selfishly her selfishness was annoying me......

Rarely do we see beyond our own nose.  What we want is what we want and we want it when we want it.  Those who get in the way of that are clearly; lazy, selfish, immature, wrong, evil, dangerous, jerks, idiots, etc.

As I came to grips with my own conviction and snuggled my sweetie on the coach while watching Octanauts and waiting for the rest of our family to wake up I thought how silly we "adults" can be sometimes.

And it is reflected in our politics.

Right now the front runner for the Republican Primary, Donald Trump, launched his campaign by promising to build a wall to keep out Mexicans and wants to stop all Middle Eastern Muslims from entering from any border at all.

Let me be clear.  There is an argument that can be made that America can be more economically prosperous and physically safer by following Donald Trumps populist rhetoric.  If we build a wall and stop all immigration there will be more for the rest of us.  Pragmatically speaking we can make a stronger Nation with such policies.

But why do you want to have a stronger America?

Because YOUR life will be better.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not trying to argue that we shouldn't want a healthier economy, or, that we should get rid of all borders.  What I am saying is that what we don't often want to admit is that at the heart of our political grandstanding is a self-centered goal of selfishness.

Where in the Bible are we ever commanded to build a really awesome country that has a high standard of living where there will be low unemployment and physical safety?

Still looking????

Find a passage yet??????


No?

You won't find one.  But you will find plenty of statements about how this is NOT OUR home.  Or, we are supposed to lay down our lives for the sake of the Gospel.  Or, we must give up everything to follow after Christ.

None of those concepts fit very neatly into a political campaign about making America great again.

One of the concerns with unfettered third world immigration is that the tone and culture of America will be forever changed.  So what?!  Even if we never vote republican ever again what does that have to do with the Gospel?  Some people make a strong case that letting people immigrate won't actually solve any economic problems.  So what?! Even if our immigration policies don't help the immigrants, our citizens, or the countries of origin, what does that have to do with the responsibility of the Gospel.

And to be clear.  What is the Gospel?  That we are sinners, seperated from God.  Jesus has died as your subsitution for the penalty of sin and through  faith in Christ and Christ alone we will be saved. That is it.  That is the work we are supposed to be about.

Ask yourself this.  One day you stand before God and He asks you what you are most proud of.  Is your answer going to be, "I kept the Republican party in power for 50 more years!!"

I hope that for me, and for you, the answer will be, "I declared hope to the captives that Jesus was King"!

If you find the Gospel message aligned with this one, you're reading the Bible wrong

It's a good thing that the "American" church is dying!

Being a parent is tough.  Disciplining your kids is tough.  Our family has reached the stage where my oldest two have at least a dozen altercations a day.  A lot of the classic, "she's sitting to close to me!!!!!" fights to break up.  What can be extremely frustrating for us is dealing with fake "I'm sorry's".  You know what I am talking about.  Sibling gets mad and hits their brother or sister.  You tell them to give them a hug and say that they are sorry.  They slowly walk over, don't make eye contact, mumble out a forced, "I'm sorry", look at you and say, "I did it".

We all know that they really don't mean it.  But you have to start somewhere.  One day they will no longer be under my care(and control) and I pray that they grow into people who don't have to be forced to say that they are sorry when they mess up.  In this stage of their development, we recognize that my five year old is not prepared to make his own life decisions and go off on his own.  Will he be prepared to one day live without dad guiding him?  I can guarantee one thing though, if I infantilize him from today until he is 18, he will really struggle making decisions on his own. 

In our lifetimes we have seen one of the most radical cultural and sociological shifts to have ever occurred in such a short window of time.  Only 50 years ago it would have been virtually unheard of for someone to not at least claim some sort of allegiance to Christianity.  And membership in at least some sort of denomination was a given, especially if you were going to be "somebody" within your community.  Today, the fast growing segment of the "religious" population are the "nones".  This means that people who have ZERO religious affiliation are rapidly outgrowing an ever shrinking involvement by the populace in churches.  Only around 50% of Americans even go to church consistently.

Now, before this motivates you to go posting some sort of viral meme on Facebook about how if we let kids in school have bibles there would never be a school shooting EVER EVER EVER again....let me tell you something.

This is a good thing! 

This might be a great thing!!

For centuries involvement in a church and self-proclamations of a Christian faith was a non-negotiable.  Like a five year old following rules they didn't care about, many people went through the motions because they had no choice.  Charles Spurgeon, the Prince of Preachers, was arguably one of the most famous pastors in the 1800's.  To this day his wealth of teachings and sermons are inspiring future generations of church leaders.  And he estimated that less than half of his congregation was really saved.  And that is why he made a point to regularly preach the gospel. 

Back in the 1800's.....

When everyone claimed they were a Christian....... 

One of the most influential pastors of the past  two to three hundred years, was fairly confident that half the people who called him their pastor didn't really get the Gospel. 

The Church in the West, and particularly America, has been co-opted by interests and motivations that are not generally in alignment with scripture and the Gospel.  It was the nations biggest country club.  If you wanted to get ahead, you better get on the board at your local "First Baptist Presby Methodist Church of Christ Redeemer" so that you could make friends with the other movers and shakers in town.  Presidential hopefuls had to make pilgrimages to make nice with famous church leaders so they could signal to everyone that they were just like them.....Nominally into that Jesus fellow.

What was the result of the Church being hand in hand with power?  People who care about power running the Church.

With the growth of the internet, more and more stories are popping up about horrific leadership abuses, coverups and church implosions.  There are even compelling(and damning) research papers that delve into why the pulpit attracts people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder at an exponentially higher rate than they exist in society in general.  As long as the Church can be seen as a gateway to power and money, people who want power and money will gravitate towards the Church.  Which only leads to more and more people saying, "I'm done with this".

Ok.  Enough of the bad...

Christ did not come to establish an Earthly kingdom where all of his buddies got to be in charge of everyone else.  Jesus had to even correct one of their moms in Matthew 20:20 when she specifically asked that her little special angels be given cushy roles.  Instead, Christ established His Church for the purpose of proclaiming the good news and to make disciples of every nation.  And in practice it was to be accomplished through serving others sacrificially(Matthew 20:16--First last, last first passage), while knowingly accepting persecution(Matthew 24:9---you will be persecuted and the nations will hate you because of me passage). 

Does this sound like many of our churches or leaders today? 

We are a lazy Church in America today.  We have had it so easy for so long we just want to believe that everyone should just see it our way.  And, if we face even a modicum of "persecution" we raise millions of dollars to politically fight our enemies and elect people who give us just enough lip service that we think they will at least vote the way we want them to. 

When the Church in America stops worrying about losing its power, or its perception of prestige in our communities and nations, THEN it can get focused on what it exists for.  Proclaiming Christ crucified!  And when that becomes the heart beat or our churches, they WILL have less political power, and perhaps even less money.  But guess what?  Then we will stop finding ourselves led by people who were there for the money and power!

I don't want people coming to church just because they have to.  No more than I want my son to only say he is sorry because I told him to do it.  We should all desire that people have their lives radically, and permanently, changed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  When we stop relying on power and control to get people to act "right" we can begin to do the real work of letting the Gospel change them from the inside out.

You will be shocked to know that signs like this are not turning around the

fortunes of the American Church