Jesus, the Demon

My son has a pretty arbitrary standard for whether or not he likes you....Do you do what HE wants.....  He is a very opinionated and strong willed child(clearly from his mother...) and he has little patience for things that aren't exactly what he wants.  Everything that goes in opposition to his desires creates the most dramatic responses. 

If he does not get what he wants he will go to the nuclear option immediately.  Phrases that he uses way too often are, "You're the worst", or, "I don't want you as a daddy anymore".  While we work on correcting this behavior, it is a very insightful look into our own hearts. 

I know that you probably don't tell people they are the worst if they won't give you a piece of candy....but you do get angry and reject people who do not live up to your arbitrary standards.  We view the worth of a person by the degree to which they please us.  When we honestly examine our emotional responses to people, negative and positive, they are deeply interwoven with how we perceive their actions and their affects on us. 

Ultimately, this heart attitude is a defining characteristic of our response to God, the Bible and Christ.  We ask ourselves, "How does this make me FEEL?"  When we perceive something being in contradiction to how we feel, or, what we want, we become belligerent towards God.  Or, we just ignore Him all together.  While we generally like the concept of a Holy Deity who loves us and has a plan for us, we want that love and plan to be shaped by our desires.  And when it conflicts with those self-centered priorities we say, "you're the worst".

Often the core issue for people's rejection of the claims of Christ and the reliability of Scripture comes from a place of strong personal disagreement and rejection of Truth claims that are in opposition to personal preferences.  I can't count the number of times I have heard the argument against God and the Bible based upon a personal disagreement on "this" issue.  Never is there a willingness to engage in the possibility that a finite, subjective and personal preference is potentially incorrect and mistaken in contrast to the possibility of a perfect and Holy creator King of all the universe. 

My son doesn't yet concede the possibility that it is likely NOT a good thing for him to have MORE candy.  He wants what he wants, and I am his enemy(even though briefly) for being an obstacle to him obtaining his selfish desires. 

In John 8 Jesus finally throws down the gauntlet.  First, he has spent the last few days telling everyone that all their hyper-religious behavior is of no real value, then he calls them children of the devil, and finally, strike three, he claims to be the great, "I AM".  And at this point they decided that it was time to kill this offensive fellow.(vs 58-59) 

As Jesus is doing and saying all of this they respond by saying that Jesus is clearly demon possessed.(v 48)  They don't like what they hear, they don't appreciate that he calls them on their behavior that they are selfishly convinced is the "right" and "righteous" way to behave.  So they become antagonistic towards him.  Their rejection is based upon a purely emotional response to being told that what they like and what they want isn't "ok".  Who is he, they think, to tell us that there is a right way to come to God, and that OUR way is not it??

Either Jesus is who He claims to be(The Great I AM) or he is not.  If He is, we need to humble ourselves, because no matter how firmly we hold onto our preferences and beliefs we are standing in opposition to the Most High.  You might REALLLLY want that piece of candy right now, but at what cost?

Reality; we are like toddlers who are told "no". 

  

When Following Jesus is Hard

Could it be that God is willing to compromise your immediate happiness for something greater? It's called redemption!
        - Paul Tripp

Statistically speaking, you and I will never win the lottery.  You have a better chance of dying in a plane crash.  Yet people buy millions and millions of tickets every year. 

Why?

Because quick and easy money is the dream.  40 years of dedicated work of 40+ hours a week and a job that doesn't fulfill your greatest passions is....NOT easy.  We see the dream of retiring with a nice house, solid income and golfing and we want to get there now.  The vast majority of Americans have less than 5,000 dollars in savings.  Is it because they don't make any money?  Nope.  We buy more and more stuff that we don't need, but want RIGHT NOW. 

Our self-centered and short-sighted lives avoid difficulty and long term planning and focus on the pleasures of right now.  Often at the expense of long term responsibility.  Every work out and diet plan offers us immediate results with little effort.  Try selling a 2 year weight loss plan that includes a lifetime of changed eating habits and daily committed exercise. 

 

 

Our spiritual lives are influenced greatly by this pernicious attitude we have accepted into our mindsets.  We think of religion, faith, Jesus, all as tools to have our "best life now".  If we don't get an immediate payoff in the form of greater "peace", increased "happiness", all of our questions "answered", lots of "fun".  Well.....then it is not for us. 

 

The perception is that Jesus is supposed to be our great Holy Vending Machine in the Sky.  We add Him to our lives and everything should just be worked out.  Whenever we feel challenged or confused, the expectation is we just need to twist and contort Jesus and the Bible to better accommodate our desires so we can keep the good times rolling. 

 

In the Gospel of John, chapter 6, we see this play out.   Not in the privacy of ones own home and mind, but in the midst of fellowship with the Son of God Himself!

 

Jesus has been rocking it with amazing miracles and feeding the people.  The crowds are growing, everyone wants to be a part of this.  It is easy to visualize.  You hear about this guy doing miracles AND handing out free food to everyone.  Of course you would show up for the party! 

 

But then Jesus changes up the tone.  He begins to talk about how He alone is the Bread of Life(directly contrasting with the Jewish understanding of God) and how everyone must partake of His flesh and blood if they are to truly have eternal life....this was somewhat less successful than the miracles and feeding part of the show....

 

⁶⁶ After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.

        - John 6

 

When Jesus was spoon feeding them and showing them a good time, they were all about it.  When he started challenging them and inviting them to participate in something a lot more difficult than sitting around and being served, people hightailed it out of there.

 

Jesus than turns to Peter and says, "Will you leave too?" 

 

Here is the moment where each of us have to be ferociously honest with our lives and heart.  We want so much for God to just give us stuff, to make life make sense, to have everything work out in our favor RIGHT NOW!  Many of us will turn away when the bells and whistles are no longer entertaining us.  And Jesus says, "Will YOU turn away as well now that the show is no longer rocking for your personal enjoyment?"

 

⁶⁸ Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life"

         - John 6

 

This world will throw you lots of baubles and immediately gratifying gifts.  The distractions can be without number.  And, let's be honest.  Following Jesus is rarely the formula for having a bunch of fun right now.

 

But here is what Peter gets, that we desperately need to understand.  Everything in life can be a distraction from the truth.  The truth that everything is going to burn and be found wanting.  The fun you have today at the expense of tomorrow will break your heart.  And even if following Jesus can seem hard, it is the ONLY place where true life LIVES. 

 

All the things we do to distract and fill ourselves up with are lies that set us up for the ever increasing sense of emptiness that will take over our hearts. 

 

Following Jesus can be hard.  But it is ultimately harder when we do not. 

 

When you compromise to get something now, you will always lose it later

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is God a Vending Machine?

I like getting what I want when I want it.  I have no patience for patience.  And what I want is rarely  what is good for me.  My impatience and demands increase in frequency and stridency the more I am desiring that which is not in my best interest....funny how that happens. 

Have you ever felt like you were going crazy if you couldn't eat some broccoli....or.... mow your lawn?  When was the last time you got an insatiable and attitude shaping hankering for a healthy salad?  

What?!? You are telling me that your rarely feel that way about those things???  Welcome to the club.  As many of you know I have radically overhauled my health lifestyle in the last 5  years.  In general I eat pretty healthy and take good care of myself.  But even after 5 years of healthy choices I still get mildly obsessed over stupid unhealthy stuff.  Just last night, my beautiful wife went to bed early and I felt a bit hungry.  Did I immediately reach for a bowl of broccoli with some carrot juice to wash it down?  Of course not, I made a pb&j with potato chips and washed it down with whole milk.  mmmmmm.  And until I ate it I was literally obsessing over it.

What's wrong with me?  I chalk this moment of weakness to the fact that I lift heavy weights 5-6 times a week and my protein needs are higher than they used to be....but I probably would have been fine with something healthier.  But I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it NOW!!!

We are wildly selfish and shortsighted in so many ways.  And we apply this mindset(often unknowingly) to how we approach God.  We want what we want and we want it now.

In John 14 Jesus says,
¹³ And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

This proof texted passage becomes our life verse.  We want what we want, AND, we will invoke Jesus' name when wanting it and "voila" we got it!!!

Let's accept something together.  When we want what we want RIGHT NOW, it is often arguably not what is actually best for us.  So lets stop treating God like a vending machine whose value we perceive only through the lens of whether or not He gives us exactly what we have decided we want.

Whenever we read scripture we cannot just pick and choose verses and passages at random and in a vacuum to cobble together our point.  We cannot read John 14:13-14 in a vacuum either.  In Luke 11 Jesus teaches us how to pray.  Without repeating the Lord's Prayer here...suffice it to say, it does not read like a "how to manual" on how to get stuff, but, a challenge to empty ourselves of self and submit to God and His Glory. 

So what could we reasonable offer as the understanding of John 14:13-14?  Well, the surrounding passages are all about Jesus calling His disciples to the ministry of the Gospel.  To read this contextually requires us to understand that Jesus is telling His disciples that they can trust God to empower them to preach the Gospel with power and effectiveness for the Glory of God! 

Again, this is not the instruction manual to getting stuff.  It is the call to glorify God and know that you ARE empowered to do so. 

God is not a vending machine who exists to give you fancy baubles.  He calls you to Himself and then sends you out to proclaim that the captives are free and that sin is defeated.  What you and I need is not more things to fill up our houses with, but, more boldness to glorify the risen Savior!

 

When God's Will Is Difficult

One of our cultures greatest weaknesses is our unwillingness to deal with anything that makes us uncomfortable.  We seek out friendships, voices, activities that reinforce what we already want to believe and do.  Challenges are just too.....challenging.  A common refrain is that we want people to just accept us just as we are.  Which is itself a philosophy built upon the premise that the way we currently are is perfectly fine and acceptable.  Of course there are other people who should change, but not us, we are just fine.

This has bled deeply into the American Christian identity.  We proof text scripture to affirm ourselves.  Jesus is bent and twisted to conform to fitting into a that "celebrates" whatever it is we already have decided in our hearts to do.  Or, we just ignore Him all together and pursue whatever it is we want. 

The will of God is a difficult thing to grasp and pursue.  Often, we falsely assume the will of God is that we are to be "happy".  And if things fall outside of that spectrum we claim to be following the will of God by jettisoning it.  As a 30 something year old Pastor I can tell you of multiple stories of people, who claim to be Christian, who are leaving/left their spouse because they weren't "happy".  And since God clearly WANTS them to be happy, it is God's will that they abandon their vows.....

When did God's will become a tool to achieve personal happiness???

There is something very interesting when you study the immediate effects of following God's will in Scripture; It is really difficult and often unenjoyable.  Perhaps you can set me straight, but I cannot think of an event in the Bible where following the Will of God led to some sort of immediate personal satisfaction and "happiness".  Paul followed God's will to great personal trials.  Abraham gave up comfort to follow after God to a place he knew nothing about.  Jesus submitted to the Father's will, even to the death.

"Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done" 
            - Matthew 26:42

Even Jesus, when seeing what the immediate experience of following God's will was, prayed for another path. 

Following God's will is never easy.

But it is always worth it.  It is always the best.

Catch this important line in this passage, "if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it..."  God's will was deeply rooted in dealing with a deep problem.  Sin.  Sin had to be dealt with.  It had to be defeated.  And the cup of God's wrath that Jesus is referencing had to be drunk.  Either by Jesus, or, by us. 

And that is the beautiful thing about God's will for us.  What He calls us to isn't pointless and without immeasurable value.  It is the exact perfect and right answer to our problem.  If Jesus had not submitted to God's will, as difficult as it was to follow, the beauty of salvation would not be ours.  Sin would not be defeated, death would have the final triumph. 

When you think about God's will in your life, are you willing to drink whatever it is that He has for you?  Or do you only want that which gives you what you want?  God's will is what will lead us to the beauty that our hearts ache for.  But it is often a path that is much more difficult than what selfishness and shortsightedness desires. 

Are you looking for just right now, or, for always?

Arrogance, Sin, and Self-Centered Individualism; The Path to Loneliness

Sin is alienating in its natural state.  It will not share the spotlight with anyone or anything else.  When we embrace sin, in any form, we are creating a space between us and others...and ultimately God.  The choice to sin is rooted in a false perception that whatever this particular behavior is will show our "independence" and freedom from being told what to do.  This lie we tell ourselves also convinces us that WE are the ones in control.  Sinning is the active manifestation of a heart that wants to prove to itself that it really is in the drivers seat of life. 

Let me use an extreme example to illustrate this falsehood of "being in control"....

A young man wants to be independent from the oppressive and old fashioned rules of his parents/school/boss so he decides to try cocaine.  While there probably was not a moment where this young man thought, "I'll show them who is really in charge by doing coke!", at the very heart of this choice is this subconscious rebellion.  At first the experience feels liberating, power creating, and exciting.  So he does it again...and again....and again.   Before long(if not immediately as in some cases) this young man is hooked.  Who is really making choices in the addicts life?  The addiction...NOT the addict.  The desire to prove "independence" actually leads to debilitating DEPENDANCE. 

Addicts don't have many friends.  They can only be with people who are at the same place as them.  Addicted and destructive.  And those relationships only last as long as they are the "same place".  When the other person either can support, justify, or, participate in the addiction you can be with them.  When, for any reason, they no longer support your particular behavior, the relationships ends.  Addicts do not want to spend time with people who are not addicts(creates a sense of guilt), or, people who are worse addicts then themselves(so they can self-righteously judge how bad THEY are).  Relationships get narrowed down to only those who are exactly as messed up as you.

If you have ever watched the show, "Intervention"(about confronting addicts) there are a few common statements and mindsets that the addicts exhibit. 

1)  They don't have a problem(unless talking about their problem will get them something)

2)  It is in someway someone else's fault; parents, friends, boss, spouse

3)  Whatever problem they might have could simply be solved by the people in their life being more supportive. 

4)  They are fiercely protective of their "independence".  The thing that makes them the most angry is how they perceive everyone trying to "control" them.  As if they are currently the ones in control.....


In Malachi 3, starting in verse 13 God calls out Israel for this very sort of heart attitude and behavior.  After spending a big chunk of the book detailing how horrible Israel's sin has been, He points out that they are sitting around blaming God for their choices.  Their argument is basically, what's the point of being good, 1) You can't tell us what to do, and, 2) It's not like you are going to do anything about it anyways.....Bad people are clearly having all the fun, we are tired of all these boring rules.

In verse 16 we get an interesting juxtaposition from the words and attitude from verse 13.  "Then those who feared the Lord talked with each other".  The language and paragraph structure would make the case that those described in verse 16(God fearers) were part of the bunch of people complaining to God in verse 13.  But with a very important difference....

While their initial response(seemingly) was to go along with everyone else's sinful attitude, they moved past that and THEN(used to indicate a progression of the timeline to show that it is directly following the previous event) talked amongst themselves.  The passage doesn't give any specifics about what they did talk about, but it does have an interesting statement.  God noticed this behavior and their names were written in the scroll of remembrance and God would keep them as His.

So what's the big difference and deal here?  How does just 'talk amongst yourselves" lead to being God's?!?!

The key difference between the sin of verse 13(speaking out against God and embracing sin) is that the people described in verse 16 took that temptation to follow everyone else to selfish sin, moved past it, and found God fearing friends to talk through their struggle and have it be shaped by God's truth, not personal desires. 

The path of sin is one where we remove ourselves from fellowship.  We want to be mad and self-righteous about our behavior.  To blame everyone and everything else.  The only people we want around are those who are going to agree with us.  Anything else is offensive and annoying. 

The path of healing and righteousness is through God centered truth that is encouraged and challenged by those in your life.  It requires laying down self-centeredness and, together, seeking God centered truth.  This leads to deeper fellowship and friendship because the whole premise of the relationship is built upon not individual desires, but Godly desires.  Since it isn't about us in the first place, it creates a space where we can also be about others. 

Today we tell people that the only way to be a good friend to someone else is by accepting them just as they are.  Which becomes translated as, "Celebrate whatever they do, and, never say anything negative about their choices......"  The only people in Malachi that are shown in fellowship(friendship) with each other are those who are talking about God's truth together.  Everyone else in Malachi is just presented as selfishly complaining to God and ignoring their sin.....NEVER with someone else...just alone....

You and I need friends who do not accept and encourage sin.  Those are the friendships that lead to loneliness.  When we are encouraged to be selfish, we are ultimately going to be selfish...and friendless.  True friendship are those who will not accept sin in your life, but will stand right with you no matter how dirty it might be and talk to you about God's truth. 

Tired of being lonely.  Stop looking for people who don't love you enough to speak truth.   

     

Start asking yourself, are the people in your life really friends, or, are they "enemies"

My Problems

I know two things that are completely and inarguably true:  1)  I have problems.  2)  They are because of me.  Actually, I know a third thing that is also true: 3) You are exactly like me concerning the first two truths.

Whoa whoa whoa!  I hear you yelling at the screen you are reading this on(assuming you don't print out my blog and read it at your leisure, which I assume many of you do...).  But Adam(you again), I agree, I have problems.  But they are rarely MY fault.  So and so did "this" and so and so did "that".  My job(or lack of one) causes "this".  Don't forget my "disease" was out of my control.  I am offended that you are "blaming the victim"!!

I see the disconnect you and I are having.  Let me define what I mean by "problems".

A problem is not your circumstances.  Circumstances are just events that have happened.  In and of themselves they are valueless.  Our perspective and reaction TO the circumstances are the problems. 

Explain yourself!!(you again)

Have you ever noticed that people in the exact same circumstances can have a profoundly different response and outcome?  One person loses a child and goes into a tailspin of depression and self-destruction, while another person starts a charity/organization that positively impacts and serves thousands of people who are going through the same thing.  The initial pain response to the circumstances is the same, but the reaction is radically different.  One person becomes defined and controlled by the "problem" they perceive, while the other defines themselves by who they will choose to be in the midst of that pain.

When we make the choice to be controlled by our perception of the problem we create an environment in which we will be constantly anxious, angry, resentful, depressed, etc.  This mindset is often coupled with aggression towards the original source of those negative circumstances.  If we are angry at someone, we blame them for MAKING us angry.

Guess what?  No one can make you do anything.  How you choose to respond is completely up to you.  Sure, sometimes responding in a healthy way can be extremely difficult based on some of our circumstances, but it is still up to us.  We refuse to take personal responsibility for the choices we make and continue to make.  It is always someone else's fault.

For the past few weeks I have been teaching through the book of Malachi.  It is quickly becoming one of my favorite books in the Bible.  Every word in it seems to speak right to me.  The heart of the book is that Israel is suffering in a myriad of ways and they cry out to God to complain about their perception that He has abandoned them and does not love Him.

How does God respond?

I love you, I love you, I love you.  But guess what?  The reason you feel the way you do, the reason you have this "problem" in your lives, is due to your choices and your behavior.  And why am I letting you suffer through the consequences of your choices?  Because I love you, I love you, I love you. 

Yes, bad things have happened to Israel.  But their despair is not about those circumstances, it is about their self-righteous indignation towards those they blame.  Never willing to ask what part they may have played to get where they are.

Right in the middle of Malachi, as God is patiently detailing the many terrible and sinful choices Israel has made, is the most important line in all the text;  Return to me, and I will return to you.(3:7)  He is saying, you are your own source of your problems.  Your choices, your responses, your heart.  That is all on you.  Yet I stand here, patiently, lovingly, gracefully, inviting you to a place where your "problems" will be healed.

How do we stop having "problems"?  By making the choice to allow God to change our response to our circumstances.  When we lay down our pride, our self-centeredness, our own choices, we are finally able to come to a place that says, "I cannot do this, take my heart and change it."

Bad things are going to happen to you.  People will hurt you and frustrate you.  There will be death, disease, pain.  But we do not have to be defined by them.  Be defined by the one who can make all things new. 

If you make the choice to have a velociraptor as a pet,

you only have yourself to blame.....

Why my kids(and everyone else) really annoy me!!

My kids are reaallllllllyyyyy needy.  Like, insanely, obnoxiously needy.  Since their birth I cannot recall a day that they didn't impose their neediness on my otherwise idyllic personal life.  Some of the most obnoxious things I have resigned myself to enduring are; Preparing 3(THREE!!!) meals a day, daily baths, diaper changes, baths, snuggling, book reading(sometimes the same one multiple times!!), listening to their stories(which rarely are very engaging since they generally lack a purpose and plot), and lets not forget I have to put them to bed every night since they don't just walk off and get in bed promptly at 8 every evening.

You know why their neediness is so offensive to me?  Because I am insanely self-centered.  My self-centeredness does not just effect my view on my perception of my children's obnoxious neediness, it causes me to be offended by everyone's neediness.  Every time someone, uninvited, engages into my life it is an affront to my independence and plans.  Sure, I want my kids around, but only when I am the one who wants them around.  I would prefer they operate on my schedule and stop infringing upon mine. 

And that goes for everyone else as well!

I will be your friend, as long as our friendship is convenient to my needs and wants.  I will be your spouse, as long as I am feeling "spousey" at the time.  God forbid you want or need something from me when I am not actually interested in that at that exact moment.  I am the sun at the center of my universe and I prefer everyone to be oriented around me.  Spinning and moving according to the dictates of my own personal gravitational pull.

Now, why am I, and seemingly everyone else, so lonely and depressed????  It doesn't seem to make sense...I only do what I want when I want to with who I want to.  And the more and more I put myself first, the more and more I feel driven to fix my problems that seem to keep occurring by putting myself first.  Yet it never gets better.....

Selfishness is arguably the most destructive attitude and behavior that us imperfect mortals can embrace.  Why does this looking inward become so damaging?  Because at our fundamental level, we are not that great of a person in the first place.  Don't get me wrong, you are probably pretty nice and friendly.  I know I am.  But at my very core I sense a destructive nature within me.  As the apostle Paul said, "I don't do what is good, but I do what I hate". 

Be honest, think about your own life.  How many times do you know what you should do, but you do the opposite?  Everyone knows that overeating and smoking is terrible.  But we do it anyways.  Even while it is killing us we can't bring ourselves to stop behaviors, attitudes and mindsets.  Our constant struggle is that at the same time we ARE improving some areas of our internal life, we still recognize a bunch of messed up crap inside of ourselves. 

No one knows us better then we know ourselves.  And when we become more and more selfish we become more and more defined by a destructive relationship with a person who is extremely harmful; Our own self!!  What if your only friend in the whole world was angry, bitter, selfish, violent, etc, how would that effect you?  That is what selfishness creates for us.

How do we change this?  How do we move from broken selfishness to healthy wholeness?

³⁶ When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. --Matthew 9

Jesus is God.  He came for a very essential purpose.  Reconciliation and redemption of sinful man with a Holy God through His death and resurrection.  He is preaching about repentance and the Kingdom and what is the response of the crowds??  Help me, fix me, do this for me, make my runny nose stop running!!!!

How would I generally respond?  Seriously folks, this is quite inconvenient to my goals right now....

How does Jesus respond?  Compassion.

Their needs and hurts were not viewed as an inconvenience to Jesus, but instead the outward manifestation of their internal pain and loneliness.  Instead of thinking about Himself, He thought about them.  And He loved them. 

When I find myself frustrated with people in my life for their constant demands I forget that what is true about me is what is true about them.  They are harassed and helpless.  Hurting and lonely.  Sad and desperate.  While I am being selfish I am mad at them for my perception of their being selfish.  When I am angry about their neediness it is always because I want to put MY neediness before theirs. 

Why are my kids obnoxiously needy?  Because they NEED me.  They are just like me.  And just like them, I need help.  When I become bitter and resentful to their needs, I am in turn shutting off finding my own needs being met.  Living for myself only leads to a deeper and deeper problem of brokenness.  My lack of compassion for others needs creates a mindset that there is no compassion for mine. 

The process of believing that the needs of others are inconvenient and obnoxious causes us to internalize our own hurt and pain because we believe internally what we put into practice externally.  At the moment we act in love and compassion it opens us up to becoming recipients of love and compassion. 

If you are struggling with peace, contentment, satisfaction, etc.  Ask yourself, am I a selfish person?  As long as you are, those struggles will only magnify.

    

 

Finding Love on Valentines

1 John 3:16
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

Yayyyyy Valentines Day!

Sarcasm.....

Don't get me wrong.  I love LOVE.  I love loving my wife.  I love loving my kids.  In general, I just love love. 

But what I don't love is what our society tells us about what love is. 

Goosebumps, heart racing, sweaty palms, lust, attraction.

You know what is the common denominator about all of those feelings of "love" we are encouraged to seek and "maintain"?  They are about what that person does for YOU.  When we celebrate something like Valentines day we are giving gifts and having dinners to tell that person how pleased we are that they make us feel a certain way. 

Think of the things that you would typically hear on a Valentines date:

"You are so beautiful"

"You make me so happy"

"You do such nice things for me"

None of those statements or sentiments are themselves necessarily a bad thing.  But they are not the core component of what love is.  We dangerously build all of our romantical notions around the idea of what that person produces in us. 

And, when they no longer create that sense of euphoria and desire in you anymore, than you have "fallen out" of love.  Typically, the response of the world is that this is a sign that it is time to move on.  They don't make your toes tingle anymore like that barista at the Free Trade Coffee bar does, so, go find love!!

What is Love?  True love?  Selfless love?

Jesus laid down his life for those who were his enemies.  When Jesus went to the cross, he did not do it with the expectation that everyone was just going to start cleaning up their act and return his act of love consistently, or, at all.  But he did it anyway.  True love, the love that God designed us to desperately need, is found in not what others do for us, but giving up of ourselves for others.

When we live out of a sense of selfishness, whether consciously or not, we are creating a life where the love our soul cries out for will always be out of reach.  We will just keep roving, hoping that around this next corner we will finally find it.  But we won't.  Because Love is not about getting.  It is about giving.

Any time we base our satisfaction in the current status of our relationship based on the feelings it provides, we are in trouble.  When we commit our hearts to acting and serving in love without expectation of getting, but only for the sake of their receiving, a funny thing begins to shift in our hearts and minds.  We begin to discover a more permanent joy and satisfaction in the relationship.  A love that surpasses the giddy feelings of "first love(attraction)" begins to develop and shape your entire perspective.

Where is your heart today?  Are you still hoping to find love? Are you hoping to feel loved?

Begin to ask yourself who the primary relationships in your life are.  Spouse, kids, parents, friends, co-workers.  What would it look like to start loving them for their sake, and not yours?  Even if it could cost you everything. 

You can't do that alone.  In our imperfect and sinful nature we are constantly seeking self gratification.  Prayerfully and humbly come to the cross, seek the breaking of your selfishness, begin to make new choices that challenge the "comfort" of the ones you have made before.  To experience the love your heart desires, stop doing the things you did before.  Lay it down.  It is worth it.

Best cards out there!