Laundry and Marathons

This would be a great holiday

There are some things in life that I hope to only do one time. 

Get tonsils removed, go to high school, have braces, and.... do laundry. 

When I was in college and the task of keeping my clothes decently wearable fell upon me I would stretch out time between cleaning as long as possible.  Practicing the old "sniff" test to verify that I indeed had a few more days to go.  And honestly it wasn't even that hard to do then.  I barely cared if it was wrinkled and we had a washer and dryer in the house I shared with my friends.  After the dryer would ding I could just throw it in a basket and grab clothes straight from there without even needing to put them away in "drawers".

Getting married and then having kids really changes a mans perspective on what constitutes "clean" clothes.  It's one thing to look like a slob as a 19 year old college student, but you can't send your children off to school with stains on their shirts.  And your wife won't go out with you in an embarassingly wrinkly smelly ensemble. 

And here is the terrible thing about laundry with a family.  It is NEVER FINISHED!!!!

As fast as I get it done there is still a pile of it ready to be started.  The washer and dryer could be on literally 24 hours a day and I don't think that it would be overkill. 

Whether it is an overwhelming task, or a simple part of the day, has been directly the result of my chosen consistency with it.  The amount of work laundry for 6 people takes is always going to be exactly what it is.  The way it impacts and controls me has nothing to do with the amount of it, but my approach.

If every day I take steps to keep it moving, it almost becomes a task that takes no thinking or effort.  There is no "all day" laundry day that everything else has to be put on hold to deal with.  When I put it off until "I have the time", the time that it piles up to needing to confiscate from my life is overwhelming. 

Laundry is not a sprint.  It is a marathon.  It requires a constant moving forward.  Not in a furious cacophony of limbs swinging wildly, but a deliberate daily discipline of one step in front of the other knowing that it will not be a task that is over anytime soon. 

All of our life.  Or, at least the things that matter.  Are like that.  We are so good at putting off that which we should be doing.  To save it for "some day".  When there is "enough time".  When that other stuff is "taken care of".  And drip by steady and reliable drip it piles up the little issues until we are overwhelmed and consumed by a mountain.

The Apostle Paul gets right to the root of our problem as he addresses our spiritual malaise,

24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27 No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.- 1 Cor 9:24-27

We run our lives so aimlessly so often.  Then we are surprised when our relationship with God feels so distant and bleh.  All week long we put off who God is calling us to be, to do those simple steps with the hopes that we can save it all up for a marathon spiritual connection on Sunday mornings. 

And we get farther and farther behind. 

Are you living your life like you are after a prize.  No, there is no trophy for a caught up laundry room.  But a person who disciplines themselves to run hard after God every single day will not regret it.  But we will always regret letting it slip and fall farther and farther behind.

This plays into all areas of our life.  Think about the many important things that God has given you responsibility for.  How many of them have you avoided the daily work of working towards the goal that is set before you.  Instead we avoid and deflect always telling ourselves that later we can do that work when we are really ready for it.  And far too often there is never a later. 

Stop running FROM what God has for you and start running TOWARDS God.  One day your race will come to an end.  Don't be found never having even started. 

Testing Wet Paint by Touching, or, What is Good Grief?

Thomas did not practice social distancing

Obtuseness is a genetic condition that runs in my family and has lodged itself quite deeply into my DNA.  What I mean is that I have a preternatural gift for making things much harder on myself than they needed to be.  When I come upon a sign affixed to a wall labeled "Do Not Touch, Wet Paint", I will be soooo "careful" and touch it with just a little tap of a finger just to be sure it really is wet paint. 

I so do wish that I was able to hear the instruction the first time, to heed the warning at its first cry.  But there is something deeply woven into me that only trusts what I can see, touch and experience in a practical(and sometimes hurtful way).  Like the Disciple Thomas, who had spent 3 years of his life at the feet of Jesus.  He had seen the miracles, heard the words, experienced the power and majesty of the Son of God, yet even as everyone else was able to celebrate the resurrection he just had to touch it with a little tap of his own finger to just see for himself.

Perhaps in the years to come he thought back to that moment that Jesus didn't rebuke him for his doubting, but instead invited him to touch and see for himself.  Even though we call him "Doubting Thomas" today, Jesus was gracious and let Thomas do what he needed to do as he struggled in his own heart to grasp what was right in front of his face. 

I wonder if knowing Jesus loved him enough to let him "find out for himself" was what gave him the confidence to travel as a missionary to India where he would be killed for his faith.  A man who had to touch to believe, believed in that hope to the point of dying for others far from his home. 

Even though I am slow to learn, here is my good news, God is very patient with me.  And He loves me enough to do whatever it takes to help me grow.  This is good news for you as well.  God will let us go through what we need to for the sake of finding Him there at the end of our desperate attempts to try to be in control and figure it all out for ourselves. 

Often our obtuseness leads to heart ach, but the Apostle Paul presents it to us this way,

"Fod Godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death"- 2 Corinthians 7:10

I think Thomas was grieved over feeling doubtful in the presence of Jesus, but it was a Godly grief.  It was a grief that drove Him TO Jesus for help.  And Jesus met him there in his struggle and doubt.  And it changed the trajectory of his life to live with boldness, and without regret. 

Worldly grief is a grief that drives us away from God.  Instead of a heart willing to cry out, "Help me God", it says, "I won't let that happen to me again". 

God lets us test and see and experience grief and heartache SO THAT we turn more fully to Him.  But far to often, we do not bring our grief to the cross, we hold it up as a wall and a shield to keep out more risks and possible pain.  And then our grief never meets its healer and will eventually consume us. 

The love God has for us is such that He will let us touch that wet paint, make that stupid choice, wade through the consequences of sin and pain.  He invites us to come to Him WITHOUT all those stupid detours, but He is patient with us when we jump into the mud.  He wades right in with us and carries us out.  And He lets that grief drive us closer to Him. 

Sometimes the grief is because of what we have done, and sometimes the grief is just because life is really hard.  But we choose if it is Godly and will lead to life, or, if it is a grief that will lead to death. 

The Church as a Marriage

After my post about "What Good is a Church" went viral yesterday(I have a very loose understanding of the definition of viral) I received a few "criticisms".  So I wanted to illuminate a little more on my thoughts about being a part of a church.

The most important point in all of this that I cannot repeat enough is that there is ZERO precedence in scripture for Christian's operating outside of the local church.  If someone could point out to me where in the city of Corinth there was the local church AND a couple of friends hanging out at the local coffee shop(or wherever well bred hipsters liked to frequent) who never went to spend time within the local church and that this was presented as equally valid I would concede my point entirely.

Can't find it....?

Because it's not there.  I have yet to come across a Biblical basis for avoiding participation in a local church.  I hear lots of personal anecdotes that sound like self-serving justifications, but never the Biblical basis for it!

There is no point where the writers of the New Testament did not assume that the natural practice of believers would not include participation in the church.  Paul even goes as far as to give CORPORATE instructions to how they should be conducting themselves when they met together.  As Paul established churches during his missionary journeys he also appointed LEADERS(elders) of those churches who were instructed with teaching and protecting the Gospel message.

Again, everything in the New Testament points to active participation within the local church. 

Does this mean that every local church lives up to its responsibilities?  Of course not.  But we don't quit on it all together when we encounter serious issues.  For example, you are attending a church and discover that they are teaching Jesus Christ is not the only way to heaven(aka universalism).  You would be well advised to exit quickly.  Or another church is abusing its members in some capacity.  Authoritarian control, shaming, power abuses, etc.  Get out of there as well. 

Sometimes, depending on where you live, finding a solid(but not perfect) Bible teaching church can be a challenge.  But don't give up just because the first one you visited had significant problems.

While no analogies are perfect, I think this one can help...comparing marriage to the Church.

Sometimes there are abusive and destructive marriages.  People should be protected from these situations.  While we understand someone who has come out of that situation might be wary about dating again, but wouldn't we be saddened if they have decided to give up on finding love at all because of the terrible situation from their past.  

To paraphrase a bit of CS Lewis, the whole reason you are able to recognize something as functioning incorrectly is that you have an indwelt sense of what is right.  If you recognize a problem at a past church, it doesn't mean that there is no good church, it means that you have solidified the truth that there is an appropriate way that a church SHOULD be functioning. 

Many wonderful Christians have walked away from participating in church life and, as of now, don't feel any "ill effects" from it.  Sometimes this is used as proof that the church was unnecessary for them(and perhaps for anyone..??)

I have had a number good friends that due to life circumstances(job and school) have had to live for long periods of time apart from their spouse.  While they certainly came through the other side with their marriage intact, how odd would it be for them to say, "I really liked not having to deal with you every day, can we keep living in different cities....?"  When you marry someone you are committing to sharing your life with that person.  Not just the convenient and fun stuff, but wading through the junk as well. 

When I hear someone tell me that they don't have to go to church to be a Christian I have a few thoughts.  First, I agree!!  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian.  Jesus's death and resurrection does!  But then I think about marriage.  Do you have to actually share your life with someone(emotionally and physically) to be married?  Of course not.  But you are kinda missing the point of marriage if you refuse to share your life with that other imperfectly perfect person. 

The problem is we like the "idea" of things, but not the things themselves.  The idealized picture I have of marriage is beautiful and inspiring.  The reality is often quite different.  The idealized picture we have of the Church is also beautiful and inspiring.  And reality is quite different there as well. 

To add one more part to this thinking.  What if your husband or wife said, "Honey I love you sooo much, but living with you makes it really hard to keep loving you so much.  I think we would be much better off if we spent as little time(if any) together so that I can keep thinking my lofty thoughts about the beauty of marriage". 

We love marriage, we fight against married life.

We love Jesus, but we fight against Christian living. 

Can you be a Christian who never goes to church?  Sure.  Can you be married and never spend time with your spouse?  Sure.  But why in the world would you accept that for yourself?