Testing Wet Paint by Touching, or, What is Good Grief?

Thomas did not practice social distancing

Obtuseness is a genetic condition that runs in my family and has lodged itself quite deeply into my DNA.  What I mean is that I have a preternatural gift for making things much harder on myself than they needed to be.  When I come upon a sign affixed to a wall labeled "Do Not Touch, Wet Paint", I will be soooo "careful" and touch it with just a little tap of a finger just to be sure it really is wet paint. 

I so do wish that I was able to hear the instruction the first time, to heed the warning at its first cry.  But there is something deeply woven into me that only trusts what I can see, touch and experience in a practical(and sometimes hurtful way).  Like the Disciple Thomas, who had spent 3 years of his life at the feet of Jesus.  He had seen the miracles, heard the words, experienced the power and majesty of the Son of God, yet even as everyone else was able to celebrate the resurrection he just had to touch it with a little tap of his own finger to just see for himself.

Perhaps in the years to come he thought back to that moment that Jesus didn't rebuke him for his doubting, but instead invited him to touch and see for himself.  Even though we call him "Doubting Thomas" today, Jesus was gracious and let Thomas do what he needed to do as he struggled in his own heart to grasp what was right in front of his face. 

I wonder if knowing Jesus loved him enough to let him "find out for himself" was what gave him the confidence to travel as a missionary to India where he would be killed for his faith.  A man who had to touch to believe, believed in that hope to the point of dying for others far from his home. 

Even though I am slow to learn, here is my good news, God is very patient with me.  And He loves me enough to do whatever it takes to help me grow.  This is good news for you as well.  God will let us go through what we need to for the sake of finding Him there at the end of our desperate attempts to try to be in control and figure it all out for ourselves. 

Often our obtuseness leads to heart ach, but the Apostle Paul presents it to us this way,

"Fod Godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death"- 2 Corinthians 7:10

I think Thomas was grieved over feeling doubtful in the presence of Jesus, but it was a Godly grief.  It was a grief that drove Him TO Jesus for help.  And Jesus met him there in his struggle and doubt.  And it changed the trajectory of his life to live with boldness, and without regret. 

Worldly grief is a grief that drives us away from God.  Instead of a heart willing to cry out, "Help me God", it says, "I won't let that happen to me again". 

God lets us test and see and experience grief and heartache SO THAT we turn more fully to Him.  But far to often, we do not bring our grief to the cross, we hold it up as a wall and a shield to keep out more risks and possible pain.  And then our grief never meets its healer and will eventually consume us. 

The love God has for us is such that He will let us touch that wet paint, make that stupid choice, wade through the consequences of sin and pain.  He invites us to come to Him WITHOUT all those stupid detours, but He is patient with us when we jump into the mud.  He wades right in with us and carries us out.  And He lets that grief drive us closer to Him. 

Sometimes the grief is because of what we have done, and sometimes the grief is just because life is really hard.  But we choose if it is Godly and will lead to life, or, if it is a grief that will lead to death.