Are you a kind, loving, friendly and welcoming person? Who would honestly say "no"? In general we like to think highly of ourselves. In all honesty it would be pretty debilitating to walk around thinking poorly of yourself. It's a natural survival mechanism that we utilize to view ourselves in a mostly positive light.
Guess what? You need to stop thinking so positively about yourself.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mean start beating yourself up about the things you do. But the reality is we too often refuse to look at ourselves realistically. And when we refuse to do, we stop growing as a person.
I knew a guy who thought he was a great writer(he wasn't). He even wrote a series of books he wanted to get published. No one would touch him with a ten foot pole. Did he start taking classes, join peer review groups, start editing and re-working his manuscripts? Nope. In his mind they were perfect exactly the way they were. Everyone else was just an idiot.....
The biggest barrier to being truly loving and caring people is the belief that we already are. If that's true, why are so many people lonely, sad, hurting and broken?
People are hurting because we evaluate how loving we are through the lens of the people who are easy for us to love. Let me say this very clearly, if the only people who think you are friendly and caring are the people you like....well......you aren't that friendly and loving.
In Matthew chapter 5 Jesus says,
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
Let that sink in......
Who in your life is it not natural and easy to love and treat with kindness? Who is a challenge to reach out to and invite into your house to share life with?
Unless you are showing ACTIVE love to them you are just doing that which is easiest for you. And that isn't love at all.