Cheap Grace and the Nuclear Option

I Corinthians 5:1-2
"It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. ² And you are proud!"

For years I worked at a pool and tennis club and coached a swim team with around 100 kids between the ages of 5 and 18.  There were two camps that the parents fell into; Those who disciplined their kids, and those who didn't.  You can guess which kids I enjoyed the most.  The worst was when I was undercut by the non-disciplining parents.  Their kid would do something egregious, I would give some sort of consequence(sitting out of the pool, extra laps, etc) and then that parent would berate me for it in front of their kid.  Didn't matter what the kid had done, they were an angel, and how dare I say they couldn't pick on someone weaker than them.....

 One of my favorite Christian writers of the 20th century wrote,

“Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession.... Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost Of Discipleship

Doesn't that smack a little close to home today?  We are so quick to give cheap grace that never calls us to something more. 

The church in Corinth apparently has something rotten inside of it.  There is a man who claims fellowship with them who is living in unrepentant sin.  What is interesting is that the Corinthians know this is a problem because the language Paul uses, "It is reported", indicates he had to get this information from a different source than them. 

So why are they proud?  Cheap grace.  They have bastardized the idea of "come as you are" and turned it into "stay as you are".  The Gospel calls us to pick up our cross.  The message of Jesus was "REPENT and believe". 

The power of the Cross is that there is no sin too big to keep us from grace.  And there is no sin to big that grace cannot heal and change.  When we refuse to address sin in the light of grace, freely given, it is a red flag. 

But here is the thing.  It is not a red flag of being a non-Christian.

None of Pauls language infers that he is calling this person a false Christian.  He is calling him out for sin.  Later in this section he says that the Corinthians need to remove him from fellowship so that he can face the reality of the destructive nature of sin and come to repentance! 

And then it gets even better.  In his follow up letter, 2 Corinthians, he readdresses this situation.  The man has faced great sorrow and has repented.  Paul tells the church to not let him suffer any longer, to restore him, to bring him home.

Cheap grace is destroying our people.  One sin at a time.  One family at a time.  One Church at a time.  Grace is free, it is not cheap.

Our greatest passion and drive should be to be more like Christ, AND, to encourage our brothers and sisters in the same manner.  When we refuse to speak truth and hold to account our community we begin to rot from the inside. 

Ask yourself this question;  What would the Christians in my life do if they were aware of unrepentant sin in my life?  What would my church do with unrepentant sin?

And then ask yourself;  Does that align with God's word?

Let me make something clear.  I am not calling for the hammer in all of our lives.  We each struggle with sin.  But are we struggling, or are we proud of it?  Pride over sin is the road to destruction.  Are you surrounding yourself with people who will speak Christ's grace into your life, a grace that is never cheap.

Christ died to set you free.  Not to so you can be free to do whatever you want. 

 

God is Not Deaf

Matthew 6:9-13
This, then, is how you should pray:

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰ your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us today our daily bread.
¹² And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³ And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one."

We have a problem in our family.  Whining.  There is this incessant tone that our children take about nearly everything that basically comes out as a whiny incomprehensible white noise.  It sometimes feels like they can't even ask for a glass of water without rubbing their nails down a chalkboard. 

A new favorite phrase we have begun to employ is, "I don't hear whiny voices".

How many parents have had to say that?  Every single one of them at some point in their little "angels" lives.......

Can you imagine what would happen if we didn't actively correct and teach our children to communicate appropriately?  I have nightmares of Kai one day sitting in his bosses office saying, "Buuuuuut puhleeeeeaaaaaasseeeeeeee can I leeeave early on friiiidayyyy?"  How successful would our kids careers and adult lives be if they took this obnoxious and childish behavior with them into their teen years and beyond?

As parents we have been entrusted with raising our children to function in healthy and honorable ways.  A child's natural inclination is not towards responsibility.  We have to instill in them those patterns and attitudes.  We all know some adults that clearly were not raised responsibly.  People who are always complaining about their job/work/boss/life.  Who can never keep a job long term and are always bouncing from relationship to relationship. 

There is a really important area where we have a tendency to whine.  Prayers.

"Buuuuutt Gaaawwwwdddd, I realllllly want thissssssss"

And to borrow from my sons favorite phrase  "If you don't do thissss for me, I won't be your friend anymore!!!"

We approach God like spoiled little brats that expect the Holy Sovereign King of all Creation to just drop everything to go get us what we want right now.  And then, when we don't get what we want, how do we feel?  God isn't listening, He doesn't love me, I don't want to be His friend anymore!!!

Jesus lays out very clearly the way to approach with honor and respect God through prayer.  Let me break it down for us in a way that is applicable;


"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name"
The very beginning of our prayer is a humble and honoring recognition of who God is.  Holy and high above us.  This is essential.  The foundational principle of prayer is rooted in the idea that God is God and we are not.  When you approach your boss at work, do you talk down to them?  Of course not, you know exactly how that would end up.  Why would we approach God any differently?

Are you willing to actively recognize his absolute Holiness in the midst of your needs?


"Your Kingdom Come, Your Will Be done"
Whose will?  Not ours.  Before we even make a personal request, we need to trust that what is right and true is God's will, NOT our desires.  God's will is not going to be thwarted.  He will continue to work all things to His glory and our good.  This is essential in finding hope within our needs.  If we begin to submit our hearts to God's will, we can be shaped by an attitude that does not feel fear or anxiety when what we immediately observe seems difficult. 

We love the passage in Philippians 4 that says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".  You know why we generally like it?  Because we misread it!  It isn't telling us we are going to win at something.  It is telling us that Paul has learned that when rooted in God's goodness that he is able to be joyful and hopeful and that he can ENDURE all the difficulties that life throws at him.  Paul learned to not lean on what he currently has, but the goodness of God and His unshakeable will!  When we pray, we must place everything in the context of God's sovereignty in all areas!

Have you checked your heart in your prayers recently?  Whose will are you really praying about and hoping in? 

"Give us today our daily bread"
There is an insidious movement within western Christianity.  The thinking that having a bunch of stuff/health/money/etc is the proof of God's love for us.  What does Jesus tell us to pray.  For our daily bread.  The full testimony of scripture teaches us that for every moment and every situation we must be able to approach empty handed and trust that THIS, even THIS, God will provide for us.  The picture of daily bread is not one of long term confidence in the bank.  But continual seeking of God for every single thing. 

Is your heart attitude towards your circumstances "one day at a time", or, is it about living right now in this very moment and trusting that God will walk you through to the other side?  Guess which one Jesus tells us to pray about.......

"And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors"
This is an interesting little cause and effect.  Does scripture overall indicate that your inability to always act in a forgiving manner at all times mean you WILL NOT be forgiven?  No, of course not. But what is going on here in the language?  Our willingness to humbly forgive those who AREN'T ALWAYS deserving of it has a direct effect on our ability to experience God's forgiveness.  A bitter heart towards others is a heart that won't be able to experience the Grace that has been given to it!

Are you ready to humbly let go of bitterness and love in the same sacrificial way that God has loved you?

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one"
Every day we must be praying and seeking protection from the temptations of life.  Do you accept the reality of spiritual warfare?  Because if you don't, you are setting yourself up for a fall.  There is an enemy who will take every possible chance to tear you down, hurt you, put you in a hole.  A prayerful approach is a proactive way of putting our lives into God's hands and not dwelling in the sinful mindsets that lead to our pain. 

What sins in your life are killing you?  It's time to name them and pray for, and believe in, protection from them!


Right this moment, I challenge you to start praying.  And praying in the way Jesus TOLD you and I to pray.  Stop communicating like a whiny child.  God is not deaf, speak to Him in the way that honors who He is!

Is it just me, or is Calliou the whiniest kid ever.

I have never before wished such harm on a cartoon character.

Feeling Validated

Matthew 6:1
"Be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men to be seen by them"

Shocking revelation:  I am not a perfect husband.

Did you catch your breath?

My wife is great, and has put much effort and work into this fixer upper she calls a husband.  While there is plenty of work left, I have to happily admit the naïve and selfish kid I was 8 years ago is not someone I really recognize anymore. Still, there are some things that I need to really keep working on.

A point of contention in our marriage has been the way in which I "help" out around the house.  For a long time I had to announce to her everything I had "accomplished".  She would be gone for a few hours and I would do some mundane task(often one she has done nearly every day of our marriage).  Upon her return I would utilize my marching band friends to play a fanfare and march around the living room while I proudly announced to her that her Knight in Shining armor had vacuumed/folded laundry/scrubbed some dishes. 

She was rarely impressed.

Not just not impressed, she was annoyed. 

And then I would feel frustrated and hurt.  Didn't she know how lucky she was?  I was amazing.  And I had just proven that fact by doing some obvious task to impress upon her how great I really was.  So I would just be more obvious next time.....Maybe then she would celebrate how great I was with me next time.

We look for validation from all the wrong places.  And in all the wrong ways.  How often the things we do are not a natural outflow of who we are, but a self-centered desire to hear praise. 

"Did you hear how I walked an old lady across the street yesterday????"

"Well, when I donate to charity I make sure I give until it hurts, DID YOU KNOW THAT I GIVE TO CHARITY!!!!????"

When we look for validation from others we will always be disappointed.  People are rarely as impressed with us as we wish they were.  And even if they are, and you can get a good warm fuzzy feeling from it, that validation is fleeting.  It is fleeting because when we seek validation from others we are screaming inside ourselves that we are desperate for someone to tell us we are ok.  Because we don't really believe we are.....

Jesus speaks right to that heart issue.  He points out that we need to put a check on our heart.  How can we really be selfless if it is rooted in a need to be praised.  Are we not content with just doing what is right because it is RIGHT?!?!

We struggle with that because we have lost a sense of who we really are.  So we artificially try to fill in that space through praise.  Praise from others, and praise from self. 

Have you noticed how many people post before and after pictures of their weight loss online?  Are we less pleased with being healthy if we don't get 100 likes on our pictures?  And if others aren't praising us we feel like we can't feel good about ourselves either.  We look for validation from the very people who are desperately seeking validation themselves.

Did you know you are valuable and of great worth simply because you are you?  You are made in the image of a loving God, and called by name by a gracious savior.  You can find validation, not in what you have done, or will do, but in who YOU ARE.  Who you are is not a hurdle to leap or a hoop to jump.  It is your very innermost being.  Dirt and all. 

Here is what is amazing about resting in the validation that comes from the only place validation matters.  You begin to become more of who you wished you would be.

A while ago I came to the realization that I had turned tasks in marriage into goals to accomplish so that my wife would tell me how great I was.  And she noticed.  Maybe not in those exact words. but she knew I wasn't just helping because it was right, but I was helping to get a reaction.  So I stopped caring what she thought, and started caring about what is right because God made me. 

When I was doing things to impress her, it was exhausting.  Every task that I tried to accomplish felt like a mountain to climb and celebrate.  Since my heart conviction on the subject, I don't even think about it.  I am not trying to tell you that I am impressive.  But trying to convey to you that I was trying to have a works based relationship and it was EXHAUSTING.  Giving that mindset up and just caring about what God cared about took away the exhaustion of tasks and those same "things" just became an outflow of how He was making me and shaping me. 

Do not seek validation from Man or Yourself.  Rest in the fact that the only validation that there really is comes from He who Made you.  And He thinks you are great. 

 

The Most Annoying Man in the World.....

Are You Really a Child of God?

Matthew:5:44-45
"But I tell you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven"

A Facebook friend of mine recently had a conversation with a True Christian(tm).  It looked like this.....(NSFW language warning)

Yay for my team!

To prove his unassailable moral authority he helpfully utilized graphic curse words to better illustrate his point at how morally corrupt those who disagreed with him were.

In the full sermon that Jesus is preaching in chapter 5 in Matthew we can partially boil down one of the main points to be how our actions do not change that the attitudes and thoughts of our hearts are equally culpable.  Again and again Jesus expands the written law to include our innermost being and behavior.  Here he again flips upside down the "love your neighbor" idea to point out that to love like God has called us to love means extending love towards even those who disagree with us to the point of being our "enemies"

I can only imagine what this "True Christian"(TM) would say to the Romans if he and Jesus swapped places on the cross.  Who wants to bet it would not be "Father, forgive them"? 

The Gospel tells us that even when we were ENEMIES to God, Christ loved us enough to give his life for us.  It doesn't say, because you felt bad enough about your animosity towards God and realllllllly wanted to change, Jesus was like "All right, I guess I can do something for you now......"

While I was His enemy.  He died for me.  He died saying, "I love you, even while you nail me here."

In a polarized culture full of a never ending assault on personal and corporate peacefulness, we are always on the defensive and the assault. 

Their camp.

Our camp.

Their wrong views(evil views)

Our right views(moral views)

There is no qualifier in Jesus's statement here.  He doesn't say, "Be loving so that they stop being so bad".  You are simply called to love with a God centered(Agape) love that does not expect agreement or changed behavior in return. 

Here is the kicker.  The proof of  your salvation is affirmed in how you do treat those who persecute you.  Did you catch that?  When we do not show love to our enemies, we are showing that our claims to being children of God may very well be a lie we tell the world AND ourselves!

This week the patriarch of the Duck Dynasty clan just got suspended for expressing his biblical views on sin and homosexuality.  The response of the Christian interwebs is sadly unsurprising.  One popular blogger, Matt Walsh(full disclosure, I really enjoy and align with about 99% of what he says), just penned a response entitled "Dear A&E,  Congratulations, You Just Committed Suicide"  Guess what my knee jerk reaction was?  YESSSSS!!!!!!

Then I read Matthew........

I don't blame Matt's response really at all.  Because 12 hours ago if someone had asked me to pen my response to the whole thing, it probably would have read just like his.(obviously with less talent and pizazz....)  We fall into this trap all the time.  We experience "persecution"(real and otherwise) and we bring out the big guns.  We are right, so we will prove we are right by destroying those who are wrong.

What is wrong with us?

Sin. 

Why should we be convicted by the challenge Jesus gives us?  Because we are so often just as bad as those we attack for being bad.

The way of the Cross does not call us to be "winners" in the great cultural debates of our time.  It calls us to be gracious and LOVING as we get our teeth kicked in.

There is no limit to the degree in which we have been loved.  There is to be no limit to the degree in which we show love.  Even when we speak truth to those who hurt us.  Do we speak because of love, or because we want to win. 

Here is the challenge for me and for you today.  And we will start it on a small scale.  Who is a person who you feel has kicked you over and over and over again?  Who has taken from you without remorse?  Who could care less if they have hurt you?  Go to the Cross and love them deeply.  Pray for them.  Care for them with a heart that breaks for them.  And, if you speak to them about your disagreements....lets keep the profanity bottled up.

Why You Can't Do What You Think You Can Do

Matthew 5:21-22
"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do Not Murder', and anyone who murders will be subject to judgement.  But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgement."

My kids are great.  But they are terrible at doing things.  I mean, just down right awful.  If you ever want to experience an all consuming frustration, try to get a 4 year old to clean up their toys/books/room etc.  It is not they are deliberately trying to tick me off(I hope not at least), but they just do not have the requisite skill set to accomplish tasks that are really quite simple.  In general they just do not possess the understanding and perspective of the meaning of "clean up ALLLLLLLL the toys".

And that's ok.  They still need me.  It takes longer to have them "help", but its worth it.  In all seriousness they both try really hard to do what is asked of them.  And I generally have to always finish the job. 

We love rules.  Especially God's rules.

Wait wait wait, you say.  I thought we hated rules.  Well, obviously we like to consider ourselves above rules and restrictions, but we LOVE things we can control to acquire desired outcomes.  God's laws can be a great source of pride for people.

"I am such a good person"

"At least I don't do what he/she does"

"God sure is lucky to have someone like me on the team, I do everything super awesome"

So here comes Jesus in Matthew 5; "Great, you like following rules.  Guess what, more than rules, the very innermost secret thoughts of your heart are going to be judged as well....."

You might not actually kill someone, but have you ever been angry at someone?  And if you say no, you are a liar.  And guess what?  You might as well be a murderer.

We like to paint Jesus into this little box of good feelings and friendly advice.  He breaks right through that and says, "You are under judgment for every single thing you could possibly imagine."  So where is the loving and good buddy Jesus we all like to picture? 

There is a reality that Jesus is lovingly pointing out to you and I.  We CAN NOT DO IT!  Even on your best day, you are worse than you need to be.  When you are your most loving, you are also unforgiving in your heart of anger/hatred.  The law does not exist to give us the 12 step program to be better people who can pull ourselves up by the bootstraps right up through heavens gates.

The law is there to vividly paint the picture of the immutable Character of God Himself and to unavoidably lead to the conclusion of our inability to measure up.

 We are all in desperate need of help.  Jesus wasn't trying to be a downer.  He was forcing us to acknowledge how lost and messed up we really are.  He came to do for us what we could never do for ourselves.  Ever. 

Our lives are often marked by the tragedies and pains of falling so far short of what we want.  Welcome to life.  In little and small ways, this cycle continues perpetually for us.  We need to stop putting on our shoulders that which we cannot carry.  Ever.

Whatever it is, whoever it is, whenever it is, Jesus comes calling to say, "You can't do it, but I can".  Are we ready to stop trying and start giving it to Him. 

This is the next two decades of my life

Saltless Salt

Matthew 5:13
 "You are the salt of the earth.  But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?"

Most of the time we are white noise.  Just another generic voice in the cacophony of the worlds utterances.  Our hearts cry out for something more.  We are incapable of not desiring to be someone who makes an impact.  The very design of our innermost beings is deeply rooted in a rich desire and ability to enrich and change the world around us.

When I was a kid I loved to shoot hoops out on the driveway.  My favorite play of all time was when Toni Kuckoc(sp??) nailed a turn around jumper from the top of the key for the Bulls in the 95ish playoffs at the buzzer.  There is no counting how many times I reenacted that exact shot.  Always yelling, "At the buzzer!!!"

Never once did I practice sitting on the bench.  Or, standing under the hoop for a possible rebound.  Though I was never going to be a star myself, I dreamt of being the one who made a difference on the biggest stage.  I mean, seriously, who goes outside to play basketball and decides to practice sitting on the bench?

We live in a broken world, surrounded by broken and hurting people.  When we allow ourselves a moment to reflect on that reality, our hearts will break.  And it should, we are made in the image of a loving Father who weeps at the pain and destruction that we find ourselves in.

Why then, do so many of us make so little difference?  Those broken, lost, hurting, and desperate people in our lives interact with us and continue in the same path that has led them to exactly where they are right now.  We know that they are a mess, but when it is our turn to speak, we trade shallow banalities and trite slogans. 

You and I are made to be much more than observers of hurt.  We are to be the voice that cuts across the grain of heartache and calls towards healing. 

Jesus says, "If salt loses its saltiness, how does it get it back"?  Luckily, we aren't left wondering.  All of scripture is put together purposely.  It isn't randomly thrown together.  What follows immediately in chapter 5?  God's law and its continual influential and shaping truth upon life.

There is nothing within us naturally that can make itself heard over the painful shouts of the world around us.  When left to our own devices we are swept along with the current of everything around us.  We are drowning people pretending that we can reach out and help those who are also drowning. 

The hope of being a difference maker, the voice who calls towards hope and change, is found in being shaped and led by God's truth. 

God's law is not just an arbitrary list of rules, it is the revelation of the very Character of whose image you bear.  When we become disconnected to these truths, we become overwhelmed by a corrupted image without the power to give "flavor" to those who have become dull.

Do you truly love and care for the hurting in your life?  Because if you just compromise and go along to get along, you are not showing love.  You are watching them drown.  We are made to be living reflections of God's glory, and only when we begin to live in that truth do we find the strength within ourselves to truly help those whose pain is screaming at you.

We do not truly love others if we do not love God first.  When love becomes disconnected from the source of Love it becomes nothing more than self promoting comfort seeking.  Because truly helping will make us uncomfortable.  Standing by and watching your friend drown is easy, there is no risk, and we can pretend to be a good friend.  It costs us nothing. 

If you want to love in a way that saves, love the truth of the only one who can save.

This cats got the right idea......kinda

Blessed are the Poor in Spirit

Matthew 5:3-4
"Blessed ared the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted"

Just last night we took our kids to see the new movie, "Frozen".  It was Kai's second movie and Piper's first.  We had no idea how they would do in the theater and apologized in advance to the cute young couple sitting a few rows behind us. 

Shock of shocks.  They did amazing.  Especially Piper.  She was absolutely mesmerized.  She did not take her eyes of the screen for the entire movie. 

Here are my pretty girls enjoying the movie!(the third head is a baby doll...)

 

 

Everything else fell away for her during this experience.  Captivation of the beauty that she was seeing gave her tunnel vision.  Even when her brother was acting obnoxiously(as he is wont to do) it never distracted her.  There were only eyes for the Princesses Anna and Elsa!

 

The beauty of grace is mesmerizing.  When we allow ourselves to look at it and experience it. 

 

Jesus starts his teaching in Matthew not by saying "Keep being good folks, I am here to help".  He says, Blessed are those whose lives are a mess, who are hurting, who are falling apart. 

 

He doesn't say, you will be blessed because you are so faithful, because you have jumped through all the right hoops, because you said and thought the right things.  Instead, right in the midst of your tragic experience He says you will be Blessed. 

 

There are no qualifiers for Grace.  There are no prerequisites for being loved. 

 

This is mesmerizing.  So much of our lives is shaped by seeking to "earn" what we get.  Whether it is in jobs or relationships, we place value based on what we receive or what we give.  This man made economy of valuation is a perversion of our very created selves.  It turns us into objects to be plugged and played where it is convenient.  Our worth constantly fluctuating based upon who is turning the gears of our life.  Today I matter.  Tomorrow I do not.  When we do not meet someones expectations or self-centered desires, we are discarded.

 

Jesus cuts through all that and says, I love you, even when you hate me.  Is it because He is trying to prove a point?

 

No, it is because He knows you in a way you do not know yourself.  And your very inner workings are not; Employee "X", Mother "W", Wife "A", Child "C".  You are His, wonderfully and lovingly crafted. 

 

Underneath all the crap we pile on ourselves, He sees what is underneath even when we cannot. 

 

When Jesus speaks to the crowds He is challenging everything they think they know about themselves and their lives.  He says, you will be so loved and filled by Grace that in the midst of your suffering your heart will sing, "Blessed am I!"  The world told them they had to earn it, be good enough, soldier on.  Jesus says, "Just as you are, you will be blessed"

 

Being mesmerized by Grace(unmerited favor!)  causes everything else to fall away.  We are no longer defined by what is happening around us.  Instead, we become filled by what we are being shown and what is being experienced.

 

Don't miss this.  It wouldn't be a blessing, and it wouldn't be Grace if you earned it.  If you were good enough, and had all your crap together, it would be an obligation we expect.  We shouldn't expect it.  We don't deserve it.  We aren't good enough.  That is why it is such a mesmerizing blessing.

 

Don't explain it, you can't.

 

Feel it, you can.