New Years Resolutions are so 2014, or, why you fail at improving yourself

We love to make new commitments to some sort of new "us-es" every year about this time.  Standing of the precipice of a fresh start there is this compulsion to say, "This year will be different."  Yet, all the studies about these well intentioned resolutions(citation needed) seem to indicate that we pretty much break them all by the time the first week has rolled by. 

Try going to the gym on January 2nd(not the first because the "resolutioners" will be hung over on the 1st) and see how packed it is.  Compare that to the 22nd of January.  You will notice something very interesting.  The gym is very sparsely populated in comparison.  If you are a regular gym goer to-er you hate the first week of a new year because a bunch of knuckleheads will be horning in on your space not knowing how to properly use any of the equipment, nor will they re-rack what they use. 

People quit on their resolutions so easily because; 1) They set unrealistic goals for themselves(never ran since 8th grade gym, this year...MARATHON), 2) It is nice to admit to having a problem that you should fix without actually doing anything(because, hey, knowing is half the battle and just admitting to it makes me a better person....right??) and most importantly, 3) Each time we fail we accept that we are failures and so stop trying lest we get reminded of our failures.

This final one is the most important one to understand.  Our fear of failing, of feeling worthless and unworthy, makes it easier to just quit.  If we quit, we never failed.....or something like that..... How many times have you told yourself, or, heard from others;

I could lose the weight if I tried, but I am fine like this.....

It was a silly idea anyways, I don't have time for that......

I have better things to do.....

At the bottom of each of those statements when it relates to our put aside resolutions is a heart that is desperately worried about being perceived as a failure.  Each time we don't achieve IMMEDIATE success or results we believe that we CAN'T do it.  And in fear of confirming it, we drop it. 

Our broken hearts cry out for affirmation and encouragement.  But the world, and our perception of failures, cause us to shut down. 

Did you know that after each night a fresh morning awaits?  No matter how far you fell yesterday, today is now, and tomorrow is gone.  In Lamentations 3:22-23 we are told, "The Steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are NEW EVERY MORNING"  And in 1 Corinthians 6:11 we are reminded, "And that is what some of you WERE.  But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of Jesus" 

As you face this upcoming year...get ready to fail.  Maybe tonight.  Most likely before the end of the first weekend of January.  But here is the promise.  It doesn't matter.  Your failures, your sins, your mistakes, those were what you WERE.  Each fresh day is a reminder that the faithfulness of the Lord is great, that his mercies are FRESH every morning. 

Don't miss that....FRESH EVERY MORNING.  There is no qualifier attached to that.  It isn't, "Fresh every morning....as long as you did pretty good yesterday."  The hope of the Gospel is that in Christ we are no longer our failures, even the ones that just occurred.  New mercies are here, and new hope has sprung forth. 

So in 2015, don't make a New Years resolution.  Because you will fail.  Make a resolution each moment to keep going even when you fail, because each moment you are standing on the precipice of something wonderful and new. 

Where's My Healing?

The biggest cause of significant health problems in the US today is behavior.  Heart disease, diabetes, some forms of cancer, etc, are all deeply entwined with personal choices.  And those are just some of the major categories of diseases that require significant medical intervention.  We can go on and on and on about the myriad of ways we willingly compound our problems and compromise our health KNOWINGLY making bad health choices. 

Now, I am no scientist, nor am I a doctor.  But I am also not an idiot.  Observation of what is happening all around us is quite clear if we are willing to open up our eyes and use our brains.  Our family has recently entered into the gluten free world.  And let me tell you what a difference just a few weeks can make.  Sleeping better, feeling better, no headaches, need less caffeine to function.  If you are interested in the many ways that it can affect you neurologically you should read the book, "Grain Brain". 

Again, I AM NOT A DOCTOR!!!  So, do yourself a favor and take a hard look at your own lifestyle.  How many things to do you choose to do that you KNOW aren't good for you?  Compound those choices over years and decades and where are you going to end up?  Not anywhere good. 

So why do we continually make bad choices even when we know clearly that there are consequences?

The problem is not a lack of knowledge and information, it is a problem of the heart!

Fundamentally there is something broken with us.  And it just isn't our physical health.  Every day we make self-centered and ultimately "bad" choices even when we know better.  Ever been in an argument with a significant other and you knew before you said something that you ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT SAY IT?!?!?!  And then you did????  I mean, not that I would ever do that..... 

Our problem is a deep rooted in, soul level, problem.  And until we address the brokenness of our inner selves we will always be in an uphill battle against our bad choices.

In Matthew 13 Jesus begins to teach in parables.  His disciples, confused by his "confusing" style of teaching ask him why He is doing it.  To respond he quotes Isaiah...."You will keep hearing, but will not understand; you will keep seeing, but will not perceive; For the heart of this people has become DULL.....Otherwise they would see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and understand with their heart and return, AND I would heal them"--Matthew 13:14-15

What do we need to get better?  To be healed?  To have our hearts changed.  Not just made a bit better, or, a bit healthier, but to become completely new! 

This past week we celebrated Easter.  Easter is the center of the Gospel.  Death was defeated by the finished work of Christ on the Cross.  What does this mean?  What is the inherent promise that is found in this act of total victory?  That because of Christ, our dead and unperceiving hearts can be brought to new life.  A life that can see, hear and experience healing!

When we allow God to change our hearts it is in Him that our choices begin to change permanently.  Instead of just jumping through a few specific hoops for an allotted period of time, our fundamental identity is something brand new.  We like to go on spiritual "diets" where we improve our behavior for a period of time.  But then we always come back to where we used to be.  This is because we never really perceived the depth of our problem. 

Stop lying to yourself.  Where you are is not good enough.  You have problems and issues that are compounding in your life every day.  You don't need better habits, you need a different heart.  And you can't build that yourself.  Only He can. 

And He will

We know what we need to change, but we can't seem to change it!

Irritable Bowels and Sanctification

What separates successful writers and bloggers from those who are unsuccessful?  Honesty.  Well, honesty and having interesting things to say.  Well, I can do honesty.  Real, deep, shocking honesty. 

About 10 years ago I was at work when I began to experience debilitating pain in my side and stomach.  It was so bad that I wasn't able to stand up straight and any type of movement caused more pain.  My coworker, who was studying medicine, assured me that it must be a hernia.  As someone who regularly proves his manliness by lifting and tossing around absurdly heavy items, I agreed with his assessment.  Off to the ER I went.

After a few gentle prods and some basic questions the doctor had me go in for an x-ray to see the extent of the damage.  About an hour later my doctor and nurse had wry smiles on their faces as they intently studied my x-ray images.  While trying to not laugh, my doctor informed me that I did not have a hernia, I was just full of crap.  Literal crap.  Full of it.  Blocked up in my intestines. 

My mothers response was simply to say that she could have told me that without a visit to the ER.....

For a number of years I had always had stomach annoyances.  But I finally had an answer to why I never felt quite right.  I was all backed up and had the ambiguously defined, IBS, or, Irritable Bowel Syndrome. 

It is really hard to nail down the exact causes for IBS.  It is sort of like saying you have a head ache in your stomach.  It is often used as a catch all that helps describe most non-diagnosable stomach maladies.  But the one consistent solution and approach to addressing the problem is diet.  Cut out unhealthy carbs, sugars, and add fibrous veggies and lots of water. 

Over the course of the last decade I have slowly gotten better and better at maintaining a healthy diet.  Since my kids have been born I have been really good at it.  I follow a mostly low-carb diet and drink an inhuman amount of water every day.  Also, I take an extreme fiber powder in a large bottle of water twice a day.  It is a fiber powder made out of psylum husk powder....yummmmmmy. 

This radical behavior change has had two significant benefits:  1) I rarely have stomach issues  2)  I have lost a ton of weight...At my largest I was about 285...Today I am 190.  The original goal was not to lose weight, I just wanted the pain to stop.  But the weight loss has been a wonderful and significant bonus.  The weight loss aspect of a "safe" diet helps in maintaining the diet.

Sin is like IBS.  It causes pain, it takes away your peace, it can literally double you over as it "backs up" your spiritual body.  And the process of dealing with it is very similar.

1)  You have to directly address it when you find discover it.

The first thing my doctor did for me was give me a prescription for a mega-strength laxative.  When I asked him if I would notice it was working he laughed and said, "There will be NO question about it".  He was right.  And I felt a thousand times better.  I could stand up straight, I could lift things, I no longer had the sense of constant cramping.

The first step with dealing with sin is confession.  Like a prescription laxative you gotta get that stuff out.  As long as it is just festering inside of you it will affect everything you try to do.  It is a handicap that can bring you to your knees.  And, like the laxative, confession is just the beginning.  A non-negotiable first step, but not the permanent solution.

2)  You have to change your "diet"

How I used to eat didn't cause me to have IBS, but it played right into the inborn problems that already existed within me.  If I didn't want to end up in the hospital again being laughed at as a doctor looked at my x-ray, I had to radically overhaul my diet.  Out goes the junk, and in comes the fresh veggies and lean meats.

The theological term for this ongoing life change is Sanctification.  It means the ongoing lifestyle change that leads to becoming more and more Christ like.  And sanctification doesn't just mean adding a bit of good to the bad, it means eliminating the bad and adding the good.  I am sure it would have been somewhat helpful to do nothing more than adding broccoli to my diet.  But as long as I insisted on eating all the other bad stuff, the broccoli would always be on the losing side of the bowel battle. 

Often we don't want to actually eliminate sinful behavior.  We just try to add some extra religion to the diet.  It's like having a salad with your triple thick extra large milkshake.  Not going to do too much positive for you.  Ironically, we then get frustrated and say, "This just isn't working!!"  And quit eating salads all together, because, seriously, what's the point if it isn't helping!?!?

Your spiritual life is not going to change because you sprinkled in some Jesus.  The diet needs to change.  Maybe you even try to go 50-50, but in the end, unhealthy always wins.  Sin is an addiction.  To self, to pride, to rebellion, to destructive behaviors.  Could you imagine a meth addict trying to beat their addiction by drinking more water and going for a jog....right after smoking meth???  That is what we do spiritually.  And it NEVER works.

3)   You have to regularly "purge"

I don't drink heavy duty fiber every day because it is so scrumptious.  Drinking fiber keeps me ahead of the game.  It doesn't let things slowly build up in my stomach.  I am not perfect at only eating that which is good.  Keeping a healthy dose of fiber in my routine helps me stay on a healthy path.

Confession is not a one time thing.  It needs to be the first-step, but the ongoing work of sanctification requires regular confession.  You have to keep cleaning house so that your healthy diet does what it is going to do.  When we believe the lie that we already "dealt" with all of that "back then" we are allowing sin to creep its way right back in. 

Purging/confessing has an added benefit.  It staves off relapses.  Sin IS addiction.  Eating unhealthy IS an addiction.  Fiber helps clear out my system so it doesn't set off triggers that make me want to eat a whole sleeve of girl scout cookies.  Confession keeps me from falling back into old habits that control me. 


When we actually begin to address our pain there is a correlated benefit.  We start to "look" better.  I changed my diet and drink fiber because I was in pain.  Losing weight is an amazing benefit.  But it wasn't the goal.  And, when I really got serious about losing weight as well, the bowel problems basically became non-existent. 

Dealing with sin directly begins the process of healing.  And it changes more than just your pain.  It changes you.  But it takes commitment.  Every time I indulge in something "bad" for me, I can feel my problems coming back.  Now, though, I know what to do.  I hop right back on top of that wagon and get on track.  I have been sick, and I have been well.  I will choose being well every single time.

How is your spiritual life?  Are you in pain, doubled over, feeling like you are full of crap?  Confess, change your behavior, and, keep confessing.  It can be difficult to adjust to at first, but one day you will look back and ask yourself, "What took me so long?!?!"

2 Steps forward, 2 Steps back