Success means knowing what is and isn’t important and not compromising on getting those most important priorities accomplished. It is easy to get distracted by the non-essentials and miss out on key moments. A five year old needs to learn to pick up their own room, but it is more important that they know they are loved than they have a clean room. And it is vital that they don’t confuse being loved with a result of the cleanliness of their room!
Well-meaning parents will sadly sometimes miss the most important priority in what it means to be parent; Love. Nothing else matters if your parenting isn’t driven by love. A child who doesn’t feel like their parents instructions are coming from a place of love is a person who will grow up to be resentful of the behaviors and habits they were unfairly “forced” to have.
“If Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is useless, and so is your faith” -1 Corinthians 15:14
Being a follower of Christ I have one priority. Christ crucified and Christ risen. As the Apostle Paul points out in 1 Corinthians, our faith begin and ends with the message of the Cross. Everything else hinges on that. It is easy to focus on the peripherals first. What I like to call the behavior modification aspects. But Christ didn’t come to help us behave better, but to die for our sins, defeat sin and death, and offer, through HIS finished work, hope for eternity.
The power of whatever I do as a preacher is sourced from one place. The unconditional love offered at the Cross. The people in our lives don’t need a better approach to achieving some sort of “better life” goals. They need to hear the Gospel of the Cross.
My kids need to know that they are loved deeply before what I teach them, hold them accountable to, and expect from them, makes sense. And they need to know that their success and/or failure at achieving these standards is not the basis of whether their daddy loves them. The love is unconditional, which gives them the freedom and hope to get back up when they fall.
We need to know that we are deeply loved BEFORE we are equipped to pursue the Holiness that Christ calls us to. And the Cross tells us that this love is not dependent upon how well we are currently doing at running hard after Christ. People change because they are loved. They can’t change so that they can get loved.
Some of us need more help as parents than others.....